Vide et Credere

November 25th, 2015.

               “The first thing you need to know, Dr. Townsend, is that monsters are very real, and live among us as ordinarily as any other sort of immigrant.”

"Excuse you," Allen retorted playfully, eyes flashing and smiling at the corners as he gazed into Zebediah’s mirthful features. "But I’ll h-have you know those medical journals a-are fascinating…! A far cry better than the a-average soap opera or dime-store novella, I might a-add…" 

Indignity fading the longer Zeb gazed at him, Allen felt the resolve to return to his work weaken, eyes flickering and dropping with an accompaniment of a sigh.

"Oh, just—things I’ve already c-covered regarding the s-storm victims that I don’t feel like going over," Allen admitted sheepishly, peeping back up at his lover. "He w-wants me to evaluate his findings thus far and add my i-insight. I don’t see why we c-can’t keep our files separate, but…it’s just frustratingly slow going." Biting his lip, Allen tugged on Zeb’s hand with a pleading expression and tangle of pale fingers. 

"Mm." Allen closed his eyes and briefly buried his face in Zebediah’s shoulder, allowing himself to be led along by the other man, using him for support and guidance as always. Zeb was the moral compass and the middle-man between Allen and the choices he faced every day. Ellie was an added factor, as was Dinah, and the three (well, two-point-five; as Dinah was partially his) Walkers made Allen feel stable. Less alone. And less intimidated by his own decisions. The fresh air struck his face and Allen lifted his head, peering out into the darkness.

"…worried," Allen admitted, squeezing Zeb’s side with an arm around his waist. "W-worried that my work is going to c-cause more bad than g-good, and…" He looked up anxiously, heaving a sigh. "Worried of j-jeopardizing you, Adiel, and all we have." He glanced sidelong at Zeb.

(He didn’t care how legal it was, either, but that was details.) 

Zeb leaned his cheek against the top of Allen’s head, rubbing the doctor’s shoulder quietly and leading them somewhere to sit on the porch. Zeb may’ve been Allen’s moral compass, but Zeb based his decisions off of Allen. Allen, and Ellie, and even Dinah - he always took them into account. Always tried to do what was best for them. The family he’d always desired, obtained in a less-than-ordinary fashion. 

Once they were say, Zeb turned to Allen as he spoke, frowning a little at the admittance and waiting to learn why he was so worried. His brows furrowed as Allen continued, shaking his head a little. “… I don’t think it will. And I don’t think you are. Your work is important, Allen…” 

He paused again, chewing on the inside of his cheek before shaking his head. “We could, y’know. We could all just leave. Move somewhere else. I’m sure Ellie wouldn’t kick up too much of a fuss - she can e-mail her friends.” But he stopped to consider why they stayed. Why indeed? Pretty much Zeb’s entire family was dead, and buried in Westfield. His ex-wife comatose in the hospital. His mother and brother a suicide. 

And then there was the storm, which had screwed up so much, and cost everyone so much in return. So why did they stay? 

"Mine t-too," Allen replied softly, squeezing Zebediah's marred, tough hand with a much more delicate one. "It a-always made me feel like I c-could accomplish anything. O-overcome s-so many obstacles." He said nothing of his own mother--who distantly patted Allen when he'd first shown her the book, and glided on her way. She'd never been one to sit by his bedside and read, no--he did that on his own. And she never tended her own garden, so it hardly mattered where Allen played in search of the secret one and only--till he wound up in the woods, of course.

Feeling relief from the shared warmth of Zebediah nestling against him, Allen shrugged his bony shoulder softly under Zeb's generous touches, shifting closer to his lover--as if he could attach to him permanently. Reminded of the myth of two people finding their respective other halves; after Zeus cursed two-headed souls to split apart, Allen smiled vaguely to himself--wondering if it was time for him to find something to believe in, after all. And something told him, always, to believe in Zebediah. His other half, arguably. If he'd been asked two years ago if he believed in love, or other halves, or myths, Allen might've laughed or become very quiet--awkwardly so. As it stood now, he could stand beside his own roundabout fairytale, and dream impossible dreams.

And other romantic nonsense.

Such as running away, for example.

"Oh, I don't know," Allen replied airily, avoiding Zeb's sharp gaze with a lackadaisical shrug and a glance off into the starry skies above. "I'm s-sure others w-would be perfectly c-capable of carrying on my legacy without m-my direction. My w-work is..." He trailed off, looking back at Zeb thoughtfully. "...you think my work is important, Zebediah...?"

Fathomless, dime-bright eyes studied the freckled visage of the man he loved with new focus. As if he'd not taken into account Zeb's support in that regard--emotional; yes, loving, of course, but...it was as if he'd forgotten Zebediah paid attention to every detail. And wonder displayed itself briefly on Allen's face until the next topic of conversation--where it shifted to wary amusement and tired good humor.

"And where would we go?" Allen asked dryly, dropping his arm from Zeb's middle to play with the fingers still tangled in his own, both hands examining Zebediah's digits and knuckles and palm. "Where w-would you go, Zebediah W-Walker, if you had free r-range of your life and c-could go anywhere in the world...?"

He looked back up at last, silver eyes both severe and serene, catching the stars and hopes reflected in Zebediah's own.

"Excuse you," Allen retorted playfully, eyes flashing and smiling at the corners as he gazed into Zebediah’s mirthful features. "But I’ll h-have you know those medical journals a-are fascinating…! A far cry better than the a-average soap opera or dime-store novella, I might a-add…" 

Indignity fading the longer Zeb gazed at him, Allen felt the resolve to return to his work weaken, eyes flickering and dropping with an accompaniment of a sigh.

"Oh, just—things I’ve already c-covered regarding the s-storm victims that I don’t feel like going over," Allen admitted sheepishly, peeping back up at his lover. "He w-wants me to evaluate his findings thus far and add my i-insight. I don’t see why we c-can’t keep our files separate, but…it’s just frustratingly slow going." Biting his lip, Allen tugged on Zeb’s hand with a pleading expression and tangle of pale fingers. 

Clearing his throat, the doctor nodded and shooed Dinah with a hand, sending her up the stairs to look after Ellie like a dog-nanny from a well-known fairytale. Fingers sliding between the spaces of Zeb’s own, Allen lifted his lips slightly and leaned against Mr. Walker’s steady shoulder.

The gunman watched the dog disappear upstairs obediently, smiling a little and squeezing Allen’s hand in his own, moving his arm from his waist so that they could properly move. 

"Excellent plan," Zeb murmured, leading them back outside. He didn’t bother putting his boots back on, ‘cause they were probably just going to sit somewhere outside - and he didn’t mind walking on their front porch in socked feet. Once back outside in the crisp, cooling air, the stairs shining above them quietly, he looked up, brushing his shoulder against Allen’s. 

"Mm." Allen closed his eyes and briefly buried his face in Zebediah's shoulder, allowing himself to be led along by the other man, using him for support and guidance as always. Zeb was the moral compass and the middle-man between Allen and the choices he faced every day. Ellie was an added factor, as was Dinah, and the three (well, two-point-five; as Dinah was partially his) Walkers made Allen feel stable. Less alone. And less intimidated by his own decisions. The fresh air struck his face and Allen lifted his head, peering out into the darkness.

"...worried," Allen admitted, squeezing Zeb's side with an arm around his waist. "W-worried that my work is going to c-cause more bad than g-good, and..." He looked up anxiously, heaving a sigh. "Worried of j-jeopardizing you, Adiel, and all we have." He glanced sidelong at Zeb.

"Excuse you," Allen retorted playfully, eyes flashing and smiling at the corners as he gazed into Zebediah’s mirthful features. "But I’ll h-have you know those medical journals a-are fascinating…! A far cry better than the a-average soap opera or dime-store novella, I might a-add…" 

Indignity fading the longer Zeb gazed at him, Allen felt the resolve to return to his work weaken, eyes flickering and dropping with an accompaniment of a sigh.

"Oh, just—things I’ve already c-covered regarding the s-storm victims that I don’t feel like going over," Allen admitted sheepishly, peeping back up at his lover. "He w-wants me to evaluate his findings thus far and add my i-insight. I don’t see why we c-can’t keep our files separate, but…it’s just frustratingly slow going." Biting his lip, Allen tugged on Zeb’s hand with a pleading expression and tangle of pale fingers. 

"Wanna go sit outside for a bit? It’s nice out, and we won’t disturb the sleepin’ beauty upstairs if we talk for a little longer." Which would be best, seeing as Ellie had been having difficulty sleeping lately. She was worried about randomly teleporting again, as she’d done so a couple of times since the first. It was making her twitchy, and with school having started, she was terrified. 

Clearing his throat, the doctor nodded and shooed Dinah with a hand, sending her up the stairs to look after Ellie like a dog-nanny from a well-known fairytale. Fingers sliding between the spaces of Zeb’s own, Allen lifted his lips slightly and leaned against Mr. Walker’s steady shoulder.