When I did this shoot last year, I was mentally preparing myself for my autism diagnosis test that would take place the same week.
I got the official diagnosis a little later that I have Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (AuDHD).
This wasn’t the biggest surprise—there were clues that had been adding up for a few years that I was probably autistic—but still, getting a professional diagnosis was a huge relief. It was like stepping back from being too close to a huge painting and seeing that things finally made sense when I had a proper viewpoint.
I chose my Helaena Targaryen cosplay for this post because she’s autistic-coded, and I immediately felt a strong kinship with her character when I watched the show.
Long before my diagnosis, cosplay and conventions have been a place where I’ve felt accepted and supported by my peers—fellow nerds, that is, whether they be neurodivergent or neurotypical. Even when I go solo to a con, like RICC most recently, it feels like I’m home. This is partly due, I think, because of all of the wonderful, weird, and unexpected encounters and collaborations that can come from interacting with other fans and cosplayers.
Unfortunately, I have resting serious face, so if you ever see me at a con and I look very serious/sad/mad, I’m actually having the time of my life 99% of the time. The other 1% is when I’m under caffeinated and plotting my route to the nearest Dunks. I also rarely wear my glasses at cons, so if you see me frowning, I promise I’m just squinting and trying to make sure I’m not waving at the wrong Superman.
I’m very fortunate to have fantastic family and friends that have supported me the whole way. I wish all neurodivergent people could have that kind of support; I know not all do.
Anyway, nothing has really changed day-to-day, and I didn’t create this to try and garner any sympathy—just wanted to say hi to any other neurodivergent cosplayers out there!
[p.s. while helaena’s special interest may be bugs, mine is definitely not. The ones in the photos are fake. See the second photo for my real reaction. 🙃]
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