Mostly Nonesense

"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."

"Isn't it weird that your brother in law is always hanging around?"

What they are saying is that not having sex/choosing not to have sex isn’t what defines asexuality. Asexuality is an orientation, it is about attraction. It isn’t a behaviour or a lifestyle.

I got a lot of asks about this so I made a tutorial on how I was able to emulate the 80s aesthetic, please keep in mind I’m not an expert and what I put here is just what I personally did. I hope you guys like it and hope it helps

I've seen ones today including photos, dates of birth, place of birth even!

So many women feel the need to mention their young children in their cover letters and CVs. Some young people slip in that they can't drive, a sort of pre-emptive "but it's okay I have a bus pass". So many people go and shove their mental health issues with anxiety and depression in there.

I remember one girl had clearly been told that she needed to explain any gaps in employment in the cover letter (terrible blanket advice), and so had described how she had developed depression after a traumatic miscarriage and spent a year in a terrible spiral getting worse and worse before getting on a new medication that, and I quote, "seemed to be finally starting to work." There are ways she could have written that information if she was desperately wanting to include it (I cannot stress enough that she should not have included a word of it), but the way it was written was almost literally a description of how she would be a horrendously unreliable employee who could dip out at a moment's notice and would never be seen again, while also demonstrating that she cannot determine appropriate professional communication.

(And for the record, the latter is the actual issue. I have no problems at all hiring employees with mental health issues, and did several times hire people in recovery to help them get back on their feet. Only once did that not work out; all others were amazing, and two became some of our best employees - one is now a manager there, in fact. But if an employee can't be trusted not to over share personal information with customers or colleagues, particularly triggering topics... That's a different issue. She did herself no favours at all there, and nor did whoever told her employers will always need employment gaps explaining in a cover letter).

Another guy once wrote in his cover letter "I want this job because after years of messing about I now have a little girl, so I need to sort my life out for her, and if I can't do it even for her then more fool me." Which, like, I admire the drive and passion. But again. Why are you telling an employer that you're a flight risk. Why are you telling us this.

One 18 year old volunteered, unforced, that he was gay. Just right in the cover letter. That he sent to a future employer.

And then, of course, the thousands that send in CVs and cover letters that are horrendously mis-spelled. Again, as an employer, I care dick-all if you're dyslexic or what have you; but I do care that you didn't think it was important to get someone to proofread a professional document for you before submission. That tells me quite a big thing about the level of professionalism I can expect from you in the role. It wasn't massively relevant for the job I was hiring for (escape room game master), but if we'd had slightly different job duties (e.g. writing official soc med posts), that would be the difference between getting an interview or not.

Discovered last year I couldn’t look at my 2015 MacBook Air without it triggering nausea and migraines, and figured the screen died. Have been getting by on my phone, but concluded I really need a laptop again.

Saved up, realised I could afford a brand new MacBook Neo, and got one.

-And I couldn’t spend more than five minutes looking at the screen without massive eye strain, nausea, vertigo, and if I pushed it, I-need-to-lie-down-in-a-dark-room-for-hours migraines.

Looking up MacBook and Eyestrain explained what is going on. The liquid retina displays that Apple currently has uses Pulse Width Modulation or PWM. In order to give the screens a deeper depth of colour and contrast, PWM flickers between several hundred to thousand times a second.

And there is currently no way to turn it off. There are settings and apps to reduce it, but there is no way to stop the screen from flickering. Checked Apple forums, called Apple Support, and the time I could look at the screen kept shrinking. Got the laptop Tuesday, returned it Friday, today is Sunday and I’m still dealing with a vertigo migraine.

For MacBooks, it seems to vary on the computer model and the software it uses. In retrospect, the issue with my MacBook Air started after a major software update.

And it’s not just an Apple thing. Current Windows and Android screens do the same thing. There’s even a Reddit for people who are sensitive to PWM flickers to help find computers and screens that won’t trigger eyestrain and headaches.

So, yeah. This week has been a learning experience. But for those who are prone to headaches and migraines, this may be something to be aware of, cause I was not.

Adopting this breed from a rescue is a good deed, but they will have higher than average medical needs. Be sure to do your research to determine if you are financially and emotionally able to care for one before adopting.

Thank you for giving me the chance to say what I am going to say.

These cats are not something we should be bringing into the world on purpose.

Please don't create demand for them.

If you want a soggy muppet, and can handle the expense and the possible heartbreak, you absolutely can find Persians and Himalayans in shelters and rescues, and they need homes desperately.

Just be ready. I wish it was different, I truly do, but you cannot adopt a cat from a Problems Disorder breed without accepting that they will, in fact, have Problems.

I was in the trenches with one for fourteen years.

I needed something damp that would sneeze into my mouth, so I got this alleged cat from a shelter when he was just under a year old. Here he is at ~13.

Dried Pickle Man.

Nothing about his skull was put together right. Even his ears were uneven. If I'm being honest, the rest of him wasn't so great, either.

Here's a list of the breed-related problems I knew about.

Wry nose/mouth. Very common in brachycephalic breeds, which are also prone to cleft palates.

Breathing problems when he got excited or slept on his back.

Chronic sinus infections and URIs.

Tooth problems. His mouth was so jacked up.

Eye and tear duct problems.

Hyperesthesia, which made grooming painful. We sedated and shaved him twice a year, and in between I trimmed mats myself.

IBD. Strongly associated with intestinal lymphoma.

Bladder crystals and bladder stones. Painful. Expensive. Can absolutely kill them. He had both.

CKD. Kidney disease. All cats are at high risk for this. Since it is a dominant gene, Persians and Himalayans, with their, um, ergonomic family trees, are even more at risk for it, and it is hard to catch early. There is no cure. To manage just this, we did bloodwork at least three times a year. He needed regular urinalysis, prescription food, medications, and sometimes subcutaneous fluids. Three times he started to spiral downhill. Three times some of the best vets in the country pulled him back. The fourth time, they couldn't.

Y'all, this was just one cat. Their genetic code can fit so many other problems inside it.

This backyard-bred bog haint averaged around $200-$250 a month just in routine care and food. For most of his life we were never below $3,000 in vet debt.

My god, I loved him, my stinky son with Every Disease. Can you understand? That I loved him?

The night before we were going to help him along, he drifted peacefully into the Bog Eternal while in bed with us, after snackies. We did everything we possibly could for him before he went. His quality of life was good, we didn't keep him longer than was best for him. It just took an incredible amount of effort, money, and love to keep it kind to him. The love, at least, was easy, but it hurt the most.

I knew exactly what I was signing up for before I adopted him. I thought harder about that decision than I'd thought about any adoption before or since. Could I handle it?

I decided yes. And by the skin of my teeth and the grace of his tusk, I did. I did.

I have never regretted adopting him.

while we're at it, Scottish Folds (the floppy eared cats) have a painful cartilage disorder that makes them develop arthritis while they're still kittens, and Lykoi (werewolf cats) develop gruesome and painful cystic acne because of their coats. Manx cats (the ones with no tails) can have spina bifida and incontinence related problems because of their short spines. Munchkins (short leg cats) have a form of dwarfism that causes problems with their spines and joints.

They later found what they presumed to be the dad, and I fostered him as well. His fur was so matted we had to shave off all of it, and he had near constant tear tracks under his eyes.

They were very sweet (the dad took a little time, he clearly hadn't had good experiences with humans, but he came around eventually), but definitely had health problems that most cats don't.