Along with Tumblr’s announcement of their intent to remove pornographic content from their site came a new challenge for bigs and littles alike.
Check out our new blog at alittleanddaddy.littles.space!
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@alittleanddaddy
Along with Tumblr’s announcement of their intent to remove pornographic content from their site came a new challenge for bigs and littles alike.
Check out our new blog at alittleanddaddy.littles.space!

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I look forward to the day this actually gets to happen

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“Two hundred and ninety-one days ago, I got a message out of the blue. At that time, I don't think either of us had any idea that it would lead to all this. One week later, I asked you to be my Daddy, to become part of my life in a way that means more to me than you can ever know.
Since then, you've made me cry tears of joy, been there to help me up when I’ve fallen to my lowest,and given me experiences I will treasure for the rest of my life.”
(Edit: this was written for daddies birthday last year, and included as part of a longer message in the card shown in the picture, but not posted until now. I also gave him the handprint canvas and pictures!)
Little anchors
When the topic for this discussion came up my little boy and I were having a massive heart to heart about rules and punishments and their importance in our dynamic. Somehow this topic came up and I think it’s an interesting one to discuss so here goes.
What is an anchor?
I don’t really know if there’s a specific term for this but as someone with a scientific background, I can’t help but have noticed this trait within our community. A “little anchor”, in my definition of the term, is something that a little will place an unusually high value on being there for them, something where to others might be nonsensical to be valued as much as it is. For most littles, this will be something like a blanket, a set of pyjamas, or more commonly a teddy bear or other plush toy. When I say being there for them I mean that they have an unusually high drive to have that item with them as much of the time as they can reasonably keep it to hand.
What is the anchor of my little boy?
As much as it seems like it would be his teddy bear Chiron, I believe that I have worked out that his is just as likely that his red blanket which features in so many photos on the blog. He takes it everywhere with him and it helps him to sleep. It has all the hallmarks of an anchor. Both Chiron and the blanket seem to be anchors for my little as far as I can tell because they both go almost everywhere.
Is it always at bedtime?
Certainly in my experience bedtime is when it almost always manifests itself, but I’ve seen it at other times as well. Outside of bedtime a little anchor tends to only come to my attention when someone is in littlespace. With @little-alteran this usually holds true. I’ve often seen him feel very warm and want to be undressed (down to his nappy) but yet despite being too warm he will sometimes wraps up in his blanket and can often be seen cuddling up with Chiron.
Why anchors?
I’ve done no real research other than observation on this topic and I can safely say I’ve done quite a bit of that. I am aware that there is a similar phenomenon in children but the reading on that subject seems to link its being caused by a different source to an anchor of a little who’s into their teenage years or an adult.
It seems that these items are often manifested as items that are bedtime related. Something that can be taken to bed or be there at the bedside when it’s bedtime to sooth a little into a state of comfort. Without much research in the field, I’ve found that even when not in a headspace that the ‘need’ to have the item tends to remain.
In my experience these items have to be considered something of note in a littlespace. A mobile phone or other items that you don’t associate with being ‘cute’ in a littlespace sense never seem to be anchors. I’ve come across, plush toys, blankets, pillows, and even things like hard plastic dinosaurs being anchors. Albeit the latter one being something that particular little left on his bedside table at night.
One of the more interesting things I’ve noticed over the years is that anchors tend to be something that the little often doesn’t feel is as important as their CG might have noticed the item to be. Sometimes there’s a level of active denial to that fact and even more significantly they suggest they don’t need it as much when the topic is brought up and make an effort to demonstrate that fact. However, eventually after a period of time they generally return to their old ways without thinking about it and the anchor gets back in use.
Does it have to be nearby?
It’s always been hard to say about this. Nearby as in accessible within seconds certainly seems to be a case of being a no, at least most of the time. But the other side of the coin is that situations like being away on a trip for a week seems that the item is an essential one that they feel must be packed above all other regards.
The middle-ground in my experience is less clear cut. I’ve felt that anchors do often seem to be left behind in some circumstances, for example visiting a friend who’s not littlespace aware for a day. Then again, visiting a friend who is littlespace aware changes that back most often to an essential item for packing to take.
So it seems that social conventions play a part in this interesting aspect of littlespace. For situations where it’s socially acceptable to have the item then it will feature, if it’s not socially acceptable or might risk some real or perceived ridicule then it will stay behind.
Can a little have more than one anchor?
In my experience there seems to generally be one main one, I won’t say that there can’t be more than one all the time. What I have experienced is that a little can possibly have several different ones that change based on moods or other factors such as a blanket one day and the next when feeling in a strong headspace mood it change to be their teddy bear.
My observations however are, that it always seems to be just the one item that grabs the attention of the little and that they latch to at any one time. Other items can seem to be like an anchor but often unlike the anchor are more fluid in their necessity to be available to a little.
“But I don’t have any anchor”
Maybe not, but then all of what I’ve posted comes about in discussion of my exposure to a very small minority of the AB/DL/CG/Littlespace community, the ones who find headspace to not be a sexual arena in any real way. It could also be that you do have an anchor but haven’t experienced yourself feeling comfortable enough around others for it to show up. I’ve known several littles who don’t seem to show this trait to start with, but, over time the trend started to develop as they become comfortable in being who they really are.
People might say this is not scientific at all, and I never suggested it was, it’s just theory. In my favour, I’ve at least started the conversation on the topic and if you want to go out and research it, then you’re more than welcome to look in to it.
Edit: Forgot the important bit that goes in with the nappy bag as he can’t be trusted to last when we’re out.
Fun Activities - sure to please that special little in your life
Help your little tie his or her shoes
Wash his or her hair in the bathtub
Pet your little’s head
Pick out his or her clothes
Pull him or her into your lap
Get his or her pacifier if you notice him or her chewing their lips, fingers, or acting nervous
Cuddle him or her
Make your little giggle (tickles, jokes, etc)
Use little dishes for a meal you’ve prepared
Bring him or her a drink in a sippy cup or bottle
Stick a crazy straw in their drink
Hold their hand in public (especially when crossing the street)
Order for them at a restaurant
Drive them places (and pick them up)
Go to your little’s doctor’s appointments with them
Help him or her make tough choices (be their guide)
Let him or her fall asleep on your lap or chest
Ask them to help you with little tasks and things
Ask if they help with little tasks
Tell him or her when they are a good girl or boy
Tell him or her when they make you proud
Take care of them when they are sick or feeling under the weather
Remind your little to take their medicine (and praise them for taking care of their health)
Suggest naptime, especially if your little seems crabby or excessively irritated
Read to him or her (naps, bedtime, any time)
Ask your little about their favorite things (and tell them about yours) (animals, colors, shapes, stuffed animals, etc)
Whisper secrets to him or her
Go through their coloring pages, artwork, drawings, or crafts and tell them which ones are your favorites
Teach him or her new things
Remind your little about their plushies’ names
Ask your little about their plushies and toys
Tuck them in at night (including a kiss on the forehead)
Remind them of their bedtime
Remind them to brush their teeth before getting into bed
Ask if your little remembered to do things (chores, errands, other tasks)
Kiss the top of your little’s head or forehead frequently
Color with your little
Check for mean-monsters (under the bed, in the closet, in the dark room they need to go to or through)
Listen to their excited babbles and chatter (get excited with them)
Play pretend with your little
Take your little to a park
Push him or her on the swings
Let your little pick the movie on movie night
Tell your little that they are cute/adorable
Kiss all of their owies, ouches, and boo-boos
Use awesome band-aids (colorful, cartoon characters)
Surprise your little
Get your little ‘little’ gifts
Set up a bubble bath
Let him or her draw a tiny heart on you
Check on your little’s planner, chore list, or errand tasks
Make music with your little
Pick out their jammies, PJs, or sleep clothes
Cook with your little (and, sometimes, for your little)
Take your little to the zoo
Take your little to the library (and help them pick a little book)
Plan and go on a picnic
Take a walk with your little (and hold their hand)
Take your little stargazing
Visit a museum with him or her
Paint your little’s toenails (or let them be silly and paint yours)
Make sure he or she has something to cuddle (on the couch, in bed)
Invite him or her to a special tea party (with their favorite stuffed friends)
Ask about your little’s imaginary friends
Plan a themed date night
Plan a great adventure with them (even if it’s silly and make believe)
Play board games with him or her
Play video games with him or her (or watch them play them)
Do arts and crafts with him or her
Give your little candy/sweets (but not too many)
Make your little hot cocoa with marshmallows
Help build blanket forts
Rub your nose gently against theirs to give special Eskimo kisses
Show them a place they’ve never seen before
Whisper “shhh” in your little’s ear when they’re upset
Wipe away their tears (always)
Take your little to see a children’s movie in the theater (let them have a child’s size popcorn too)
Sing with them when they break out into song
Call your little pet names such as: princess, prince, little one, doll, baby girl, baby boy, etc.
Appreciate little gifts they make and give you
Make a funny face at them in public
Scoop your little one up into your arms or lap
Watch cartoons with them
Make your little a healthy snack
Make a meal of special little foods
Give your little an allowance
Have your little complete chores (and check on their progress through the day or week)
Remind your little to wash their hands before they eat
Get things from places they can’t reach
Rub his or her tummy when it hurts
Start a pillow fight
Shoot them with a water gun or nerf gun
Quote from their favorite little books and movies
Ask silly questions
Try to win them a prize at the carnival, faire, amusement park, or any crane machine
Take him or her somewhere where they need to dress up to go to
Ruffle their hair
Boop and bop their nose if their emotions are getting too intense
Let them wear your t-shirt/hoodie/clothes
Write a note and leave it somewhere for them to find as a surprise
Congratulate him or her for doing something they felt was difficult
Start their sleepy music at night to help them relax
Take your little to an amusement park, a carnival, or a faire
Take selfies and photobooth pictures with your little
Make pinky promises with your little
Help your little tie his or her shoes - Done
Wash his or her hair in the bathtub - Done
Pet your little’s head - Done
Pick out his or her clothes - Done lots
Pull him or her into your lap - Done is there another way to have a little?
Get his or her pacifier if you notice him or her chewing their lips, fingers, or acting nervous - Done
Cuddle him or her - Hard to not get this as I don’t get a choice about being cuddled
Make your little giggle (tickles, jokes, etc) - Done 32 carriage train
Use little dishes for a meal you’ve prepared - Done ish :D
Bring him or her a drink in a sippy cup or bottle - Done made him pick his sippy cup out and bottle feeds are amazing
Stick a crazy straw in their drink - adds to the list
Hold their hand in public (especially when crossing the street) - If only society was a bit more accepting, but held his hand in the forest when we went for a nature walk
Order for them at a restaurant - Some day
Drive them places (and pick them up) - Done many times, littles can’t drive :D
Go to your little’s doctor’s appointments with them - Not something I’d want to do but I will sure as heck drop him off if he needs it.
Help him or her make tough choices (be their guide) - That’s what Daddy does surely
Let him or her fall asleep on your lap or chest - Done and one of the cutest things ever
Ask them to help you with little tasks and things - Done, littles should have plenty of these in my book
Ask if they help with little tasks - Eh?
Tell him or her when they are a good girl or boy - All the time
Tell him or her when they make you proud - Constant praise
Take care of them when they are sick or feeling under the weather - We have a system in place for that now
Remind your little to take their medicine (and praise them for taking care of their health) - Not relevant the first bit but the second bit is soooooo DONE!
Suggest naptime, especially if your little seems crabby or excessively irritated - He never listens, I never stop nagging.
Read to him or her (naps, bedtime, any time) - Discussed that tonight :D
Ask your little about their favorite things (and tell them about yours) (animals, colors, shapes, stuffed animals, etc) - may be worth a try
Whisper secrets to him or her - What secrets, there are no secrets, just things littles don’t get to know as they aren’t big enough
Go through their coloring pages, artwork, drawings, or crafts and tell them which ones are your favorites - :( Need this in my life
Teach him or her new things - Not sure that’s very do-able.
Remind your little about their plushies’ names - Chiron and Erin always love you Benjamin
Ask your little about their plushies and toys - Don’t need to Chiron keeps me informed
Tuck them in at night (including a kiss on the forehead) - some Day
Remind them of their bedtime - If Ben will stick to a bed time I will :D
Remind them to brush their teeth before getting into bed - Pictures or it didn’t happen little boy :P
Ask if your little remembered to do things (chores, errands, other tasks) - Well it wouldn’t be fun if Daddy had to remember EVERYTHING!
Kiss the top of your little’s head or forehead frequently - Is there another way?
Color with your little - In planning
Check for mean-monsters (under the bed, in the closet, in the dark room they need to go to or through) - When I send you to bed I bet this will be required
Listen to their excited babbles and chatter (get excited with them) - “Take the dummy out and say that to daddy so I can understand silly”.
Play pretend with your little - Hmmmm
Take your little to a park - DONE!
Push him or her on the swings - We need to try this some day
Let your little pick the movie on movie night - Lets not go there
Tell your little that they are cute/adorable - He always is
Kiss all of their owies, ouches, and boo-boos - We’ve not had any yet somehow!
Use awesome band-aids (colorful, cartoon characters) - see 45
Surprise your little - :D best way forward
Get your little ‘little’ gifts - And watch him lose it in the most adorable way
Set up a bubble bath - How does anyone bath without bubbles
Let him or her draw a tiny heart on you - Sounds so cute
Check on your little’s planner, chore list, or errand tasks - Always doing this.
Make music with your little - Not likely, I’m tone deaf
Pick out their jammies, PJs, or sleep clothes - Just buy him a cute kigu
Cook with your little (and, sometimes, for your little) - Summer time
Take your little to the zoo - Well it is kinda half way between us.
Take your little to the library (and help them pick a little book) - That could be fun
Plan and go on a picnic - padded picnic sounds great
Take a walk with your little (and hold their hand) - is this not #12 again
Take your little stargazing - I love the stars
Visit a museum with him or her - Nothing worth going to nearby that I know of
Paint your little’s toenails (or let them be silly and paint yours) - Bit too girly for a Daddy and his little boy
Make sure he or she has something to cuddle (on the couch, in bed) - I know when you need Chiron little man
Invite him or her to a special tea party (with their favorite stuffed friends) - A bit girly too for us
Ask about your little’s imaginary friends - Not aware of any………..yet
Plan a themed date night - Meh
Plan a great adventure with them (even if it’s silly and make believe) - We’ve had many
Play board games with him or her - I’d rather do the next one
Play video games with him or her (or watch them play them) - I’ve wasted 4 days of January on those so far.
Do arts and crafts with him or her - FINGER PAINTING
Give your little candy/sweets (but not too many) - Silly little boy doesn’t really crave sweets in LS
Make your little hot cocoa with marshmallows - Totally need a bed time routine set up
Help build blanket forts - some day
Rub your nose gently against theirs to give special Eskimo kisses - LittleAlteran needs lots of affection
Show them a place they’ve never seen before - Done this many times
Whisper “shhh” in your little’s ear when they’re upset - How else do you calm a little boy in a bad place.
Wipe away their tears (always) - Never seen any tears outside the first day together. Certainly never would have risked it then, but if you ever need me to little boy I will.
Take your little to see a children’s movie in the theater (let them have a child’s size popcorn too) - I think I’d rather snuggle on my sofa with a film on and the popcorn be home made
Sing with them when they break out into song - I’d rather just sit listening to it as it’s so cute to see
Call your little pet names such as: princess, prince, little one, doll, baby girl, baby boy, etc. - Smelly butt! :D
Appreciate little gifts they make and give you - Wearing it now!
Make a funny face at them in public - My face is always funny
Scoop your little one up into your arms or lap - Impromptu cuddles are mandatory for littles
Watch cartoons with them - What we watching next together little man
Make your little a healthy snack - Buying lunch count?
Make a meal of special little foods - Some day we will
Give your little an allowance - But he feels uncomfortable with the idea
Have your little complete chores (and check on their progress through the day or week) - I’m sure this was already said above
Remind your little to wash their hands before they eat - wet wipes and Daddies job
Get things from places they can’t reach - Why I love that he’s smaller than me as I kinda have to anyway
Rub his or her tummy when it hurts - and watch him squirm with tickliness
Start a pillow fight - Maybe when he moves in
Shoot them with a water gun or nerf gun = OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo I have a Nerf gun
Quote from their favorite little books and movies - Not really me
Ask silly questions - I don’t come with not silly questions
Try to win them a prize at the carnival, faire, amusement park, or any crane machine - That would be fun
Take him or her somewhere where they need to dress up to go to - Any suggestions little man
Ruffle their hair - Surely this goes with #3
Boop and bop their nose if their emotions are getting too intense - I see a status one
Let them wear your t-shirt/hoodie/clothes - I can do one better in that he had to wear daddies underwear.
Write a note and leave it somewhere for them to find as a surprise - surprises are great
Congratulate him or her for doing something they felt was difficult - I’m proud so much of his grades
Start their sleepy music at night to help them relax - We will have a bed time routine some day
Take your little to an amusement park, a carnival, or a faire - As above.
Take selfies and photobooth pictures with your little - We have plenty
Make pinky promises with your little - the most firm kind of promises.
Daddy: you have all my attention right at this moment;
Baby: *licks daddy*
Daddy: and that’s what you choose to do with it.
Yes, yes it is you little tyke. :

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An update
Obviously our blogging has gone a bit silent, what with a summer filled with more littlespace encounters than I could even have dreamed of. The various ups and downs of looking after my little boy and the complications of working (littles have it cushy).
So it’s all been amazing and too many things to discuss. A quick run down of some bits that have happened are that I’ve had my wonderful little boy fall asleep on top of me because he’s been exhausted, we’ve braved the real world with him in littlespace and padding, messy accidents are not nearly as scary as before and 100′s of other little things that make me super proud of all he has achieved in such a short time. Albeit potty training has eluded him.
Why I decided to post this is a few short weeks after a mid term visit back home. During that visit there was plenty of the usual little activities and things we do to enjoy each others company. However, one of the first things I decided to do was provide a little treat to my baby boy. This treat came in the form of a small furry friend, a cute, soft, fluffy and importantly cuddly cuddly toy.
The reaction I got was vastly more than I had expected to get. I got to pretty much watch a teenager turn into a toddler in seconds, his eyes, responses and everything moved from big to little in an instant. Watching him cuddle up for the first time make my heart melt.
His name took a few days to arrive, because as always Ben gives a lot of consideration to decisions that he considers to be important ones. I can’t agree more that the naming of a new teddy being an important decision for life.
Eventually after a few days of discussion, toing and froing a decision was made.
So I’m pleased to introduce Erin.
It has been especially nice to experience the decision making process with him and to have our dynamic further reinforced. Unfortunately, the Blog name may need to change to A Little, Daddy, Chiron and Erin...
Some days
Some Days I give up on life
Sometimes it’s just all too much
Somehow I let myself go and self destruct
Something triggers for me deep inside
Someone always brings me back from the brink
Thank you to that someone
Admitting the truth today.
Unbelievably he didn’t know which finger was which. He is totally a little tot.
“M okie”
What a little says when he’s just contented

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Sometimes my little boy makes me very happy with little remarks he makes.
He knows! *acts innocent*