Gaara had learnt to disregard the more negative views of himself from others, especially those that were stretched rumors, but sometimes they stuck to him. They were like maple syrup without the sweetness- a bitter mess that spreaded the more you tried to get rid of it.
When he still hadn't considered a wife by 18, the council became more forceful. The circle of old coots pushed and pushed in every meeting; every opportunity was spent trying to push the young ladies of influential families towards him. Gaara was sure they were getting sick of his excuses.
It didn't matter how many women he looked at, where they were from or what they looked like, he felt the same about all of them- uninterested.
At night, he'd have thoughts that something was wrong with him. That maybe his childhood events had a deeper effect than he thought.
Time that should have been spent doing paperwork was instead spent looking out the window at couples in the markets. He'd watch them as they held hands, whispered to each other and handed each other things with lingering touches.
He couldn't stop the feeling of dread that settled itself in his stomach. Would he ever be able to feel something like that for someone? Would someone ever feel that way about him? How did it feel to be in love? And was he even capable of love like that?
---------------------------------------------------
He always felt lighter when he was with Lee. There was something about his best friend that made him feel giddy. It was a way he didn't feel with anyone else, not even Naruto.
He would always tap something impatiently when he knew that he was going to see Lee soon. He felt tugs in his heart when his name was mention, and perked up when he heard the man's name being used.
They were joined at the hip when they saw each other and there was never a dull moment with Lee around. Even if Gaara found his enthusiasm to drain his energy a little too fast. He would never admit it, but being able to rest his head on Lee's shoulder was worth the hours of walking in circles and intense sparring sessions.
It occured to Gaara, one night as the two laid in Lee's bed to stargaze, that this might be more than the love he experienced with others. He could feel the deep vibrations of Lee's hushed voice as the man leaned closer to his ear. It was a passing thought, but then it came back and he found himself thinking of it again and again. The thought steadily became all-consuming, taking his attention from everything in his daily life.
I don't know how to continue, I didn't think very far into this. Oops.
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