a lion's musings

Forget saying “This is life.”  WE are Life.  People so often focus on the physical, on “beings” or god(s).  All we are is an experience, built upon many but just as those were, we are temporary.  So since Life is an experience would you rather be a positive or negative one?  Because we understand what we are we have the power of choice.  And because we are all the same we must realize and accept that what we decide affects all even if only a little.  Just as one experience shapes the next.

How thin the line is between reality and dreams.  Being that reality in some form is relative to perspective, there are times when dreams seem to overcome the rational mind that tells us they are not real.  To wake up lost in a sea of emotion, unable to reconcile with the story told behind closed eyes.  This followed by a numbness to a new, yet overly familiar world.  That commute to work can no longer exist more feasibly than the sunken sadness caused by a lost lover never met or the passing of a friend whom you’ll see next Saturday.  Yet how difficult it is to leave the warm pillowed womb of such debilitating emotions.  For dreams promote promise and possibility even when filled with such melancholy.  Because if you try hard enough you may even be able to fly.

I feel my soul being pulled between this ant hill that I reside in and the emptiness above it. Yet when I leave the hill it is clear that the vast void above is really full of brilliant bright light. Oh how I long to reach out and grab it. But at times its distance becomes overwhelming. So I return to my hill and the hive mind inside. Our connection so strong that for a time I forget the void.

How lonely change can be Trying to adapt To a new world In a new city Friends of old Try to save me With a little luck I will be free

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.  You're absolutely right, I need to write more.  Unfortunately I have this bad habit of going through long phases of neglect, this past year being one of them.  It's time to work on that.

To my beloved sister, Man has always pondered the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Some have put their faith into a divine being, saying that it is God’s will and you must search for the reason he is putting a kind soul through a difficult test. Similarly there are those who believe in destiny, a linear path that our lives are set upon in which the end result has a higher purpose. Yet at the core of these kinds of beliefs the message is the same, though we may not understand the reason for such horrific events we must be assured that there are good intentions at the root of the cause and someday it will be revealed to us. These are the fairy tales that man has told himself since the beginning because he is a creature that was given the gift of reason and therefore cannot bare the uncertainty of what lies beyond his comprehension. The terrifying truth is that the world is an unpredictable place filled with chaos. Misfortune is something that comes to those of us who have been deemed bad just as often as those that shine with a positive light. When a person who has sacrificed by loving and caring unconditionally for everyone around her, even for those who admittedly don’t deserve it, such as you have is faced with the kind of suffering you have been put through it’s easy to become fixated upon asking “Why?” because in our minds it is unjust. The reality is that Life, though ever resilient as an entity is very fragile when brought down to an individual scale. Human beings are an imperfect species subject to disease in both the mental and physical realm. Our bodies are always prone to damage or dysfunction until our inevitable demise. Because of this, we should not be asking, “Why did this happen to me?” We may ask how as a way to learn so we can attempt to fix and prevent, but what is done is done. Only when you come to terms with this can you begin to push forward and progress, to not only feel whole as a person once more but to become an even better and stronger one. You will overcome. I know this because you are tough and stubborn with the will and desire to do so. Since birth you have pushed yourself to become something great, in this you have already found success and will continue to. Undoubtedly there will be times that you want to give up because this hardship is more than anyone should have to bare but in the end you will stand strong. I know this because where others have found faith in their own way, I have always had faith in you. Sincerely, your loving brother

Oh, the flower.  How easily such beauty wilts.  Its petals sag as it hangs its head, slowly releasing one by one.  No longer finding the will to blossom.  Pollen wistfully powders the ground below, no longer fertile.  Unquenchable thirst overwhelms its stems out of soil.  This life force we drain for a petty show of appreciation to one another.  Leave the wild to thrive in the wilderness in which it belongs.  Gratitude needs no gifts, no idols.  It reverberates in our actions and gestures or the tone in our voice.

How sad we have become at our loss of the idea of true adventure.  Fewer souls now exist to travel the world and experience all it has to offer.  People have adapted to comfort and stability.  They have given in to a societal standard and place all meaning in it.  What happened to the days of wandering journeymen and minstrels?  When did currency become of such importance?  It’s original purpose was nothing more than to create a balance of fair trade for goods.  To make it more convenient to acquire products without lugging around something to barter.  We are constantly sacrificing too much for convenience.  Our sense of adventure has been diluted by our manufactured comfort in the materialistic.  To those whom the spirit lives on in we find ourselves sucked into these comforts as travel becomes too expensive.  We feel the need to create safety nets if only to be able to return home when we are too weary for travel.  I have been asked why I find it so easy to throw away what’s in front of me like a good job, good friends, and a good life.  To them I say nothing meaningful is being lost.  Those friends will always be friends.  My life will always be good.  That job was never meant for anything more than to ensure I don’t starve.  The spirit grows restless with every day I do not tame it’s hunger.  I must feed it soon.

On a personal level this topic has hit home to me due to the fact that I am a current Bostonian.  In the few years I've lived in this city I've grown to love it and consider it more of a home than the city I was raised in.  Having fought through this tragedy with my city has only brought me closer to it.  That being the case, of course I’d rather not see the face of the kid I am personally certain committed these crimes among the magazine shelves in my local stores.  I can only imagine that the victims and their families feel even more vehemently about it.  So when considering this I believe it would have been much more tasteful and empathetic to show something honoring these people, not throwing salt on their fresh wounds.  Publish the article but perhaps don’t make it the top headline.  Rolling Stone certainly wouldn't have lost subscriptions and possible revenue for doing that.

I have felt moments of enlightenment.  Long lasting ones, sometimes days long while I meander through routine.  It is not the knowledge of all that the Universe is, was, and will be but an inner peace when the soul is at rest.  Being comfortable in your own skin and with your environment no matter how hostile that may be.  I have found this inner peace, though at times it is fleeting.  That is what I believe the philosophers and intellectuals of old were speaking of.  The ability to find solace even in the most chaotic of times and to be satisfied when faced with the least thrilling.  Naturally this is difficult to maintain.  It comes from an understanding of the world and its vast unpredictability.  Knowing that the answers we seek are most likely beyond our comprehension but to continue to ask them because curiosity breeds progress.  In the end perhaps we will evolve enough mentally to gain further truths that were once unreachable.

An interesting concept was brought to my attention.  The fact that human’s are the only creatures who rely on the concept of time and in doing so have doomed ourselves to forever fear for the lack of it.  How simple yet true this is.  How tortured we are by the knowledge that someday we will die so the infinite number of accomplishments we hope to reach seem impossible.  We've set standards for how quickly something should be done rather than relying on skill and patience.  Quality is lost due to deadlines.  We are trapped within the confines of our set schedules.  Forever living for the weekend rather than living each day with equal enthusiasm.  It’s really no wonder that our society is riddled with depression and anxiety, constantly worrying about the one element we have no control over.  Time.

Karma isn't real.  There is no sorcery that provides justice in the universe by giving people what they deserve.  Rather the idea of karma is manifested by a simple truth.  The more good you do for others, the more others will do good for you.  So rather than there being some mystical point system for good and bad energy there is just logic.  Bad things still happen to good people.  It becomes less likely based on the fact that you are typically treated the same way you treat others.  If you are kind and compassionate people will echo those emotions back to you.  If you are wicked and cruel than you will be treated as a wicked and cruel person.  Karma is nothing more than the reflection of your being.  It was an explanation for people who didn't understand the laws of probability and human nature.

Let me break down why gay marriage should be legal in one simple argument for you.  There’s this age old concept called separation of church and state that was a big hit with our forefathers.  For those of you stuck in the twentieth century, that means that the moment the government gave special privileges to a married couple was the day that marriage was no longer about religion.  That being said this is no longer a moral issue based on what you believe is wrong or right in the eyes of your god, it is an issue of basic human rights.  In the United States we pride ourselves on the foundation of freedom and equality regardless of race, gender, or beliefs.  Gays getting married will not ruin the sanctity of marriage, that comes from the way you celebrate your union.  There are thousands of religions in the world and each of them perform this ceremony in their own special way.  It is a day designated to you and your partner alone no matter who disagrees with the union.  A day to honor the love you have for someone.  A day that every human being should be allowed to experience.  If you disagree with gay marriage, find it an abomination and disgusting, then I have one suggestion for you.  Don’t go to the wedding.  But to deny others the rights and privileges that go along with caring for another just because you don’t believe in it is doing direct harm to the very lives of those individuals.  To me that sounds a lot like terrorism.  So stop shouting out that it offends you and god because last time I checked no one was crying foul about atheists getting married.  And if you’re worried about the kids then I have a news flash for you, there are countless children stuck in foster homes and orphanages that would do well to have an actual family but may be denied that their entire lives.  Which do you honestly think is more damaging?  Besides, I know plenty of gay couples that would make much better parents than any straight one.  Raising a family has way less to do with what the family is made of and everything to do with the character and bond that family shares.  On one last note, please stop saying that being gay is a choice.  As we grow up we don’t decide what we are attracted to, we learn what we are attracted to.  The only choice we have in the matter is whether or not we want to act on what comes naturally to us or deny who we are.

I want to make a difference, even if it’s a small one.  I wish to produce the kind of material that makes people think and reminds them that they aren't alone in this struggle we call life.  There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you've made a positive impact on someone’s existence.  Every time someone has told me I've saved them my heavy heart becomes a little bit lighter.  One day I hope that it becomes light enough to lift me off of this Earth to Enlightenment.  Not a fleeting one, not the glances that I've seen more and more as I've become older and wiser.  A continuous inner peace that cannot be broken by environment or circumstance.