zombie express

I’m back! It’s sudden even for myself, and I’ve got some good news.

First of all, I’ve finally got the inspiration to write something based on Resident Evil. This desire popped up out of nowhere after I replayed the remake of the fourth part who‑knows‑how‑many times, and I returned to my favourite plot trope — kidnappings. Plus, I just as suddenly replayed Haunting Ground (my nervous system took a hit, but my brain savoured every drop of that pain). So I reread my unfinished fanfic “Find Me”.

(See this post)

Well, um… here’s what I did: I read it, was horrified, and deleted it. In both versions — the English one and the original. But only so I can rewrite it.

Let's consider this a crossover-remake! I've made a few notes in my notebook so that the plot and details don't get lost, and so that it doesn't turn out to be a mess like last time, so let's hope it turns out better this time. I haven't written in a year because of my creative stagnation, but let's hope that I've gotten out of my disgusting state.

I can't say yet what will happen to the refresh rate, but I hope that I won't be overwhelmed by another wave of disgust for myself and my work.

The second piece of news concerns my other unfinished fanfic, which someone asked about not too long ago. “Something About Sin” — it’s still the same as before: I don’t plan to delete or rework it. Actually, I still like it, and most of the fourth part was written a while ago. I think I’ll be able to finish it and (maybe! but it’s not certain yet) lead the plot towards a requiem. For now, these are just plans, floating nicely on the horizon, but ideas have started coming to me, and I’m incredibly happy about that.

I won’t make any predictions about the rest for now. At least I want to finish up some of my older works, and then we’ll see what happens next. So, if anyone’s still waiting for my second‑rate texts — you’ve waited long enough! Hehe. 😊

For now, let this dancing cat cheer you up!

I am SO grateful to all the readers who liked my texts and left feedback. I've never been a professional writer, I've always written for the soul. Some of the work was good, some were not. It's funny now to see that the ones I didn't really like back then are the ones I like now. I guess sometimes I was too hard on myself. But my heart always ached when people wrote that they liked my work and wanted to continue some of it - for me, this is the highest praise! I'm serious.

Of course, there were a lot of mistakes, but since I'm not a native English speaker, I hope the readers have forgiven me for that 😅

But unfortunately, 2025 was a very difficult year for me emotionally and really knocked me down. I was overcome with such terrible fatigue and apathy after all the problems I'd experienced that I involuntarily abandoned writing for good. Alas, I don't even write for myself anymore. Somewhere, a beautiful little notebook full of ideas and notes is sitting alone, gathering dust. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Adding to the sadness is the fact that I've cooled off from the Resident Evil fandom, and the release of Requiem didn't really impress me, so to speak, until inspiration returned. While I was in a lull, I managed to visit my favorite, less-populated fandoms like Deus Ex and Heroes of Might and Magic—those two Roman empires of mine (and like the Roman Empire, they're also left behind, heh), but even about them, I haven't really written anything, although I've had thoughts, but I still can't quite get out of my disgusting state.

But I won't dwell on the sad stuff. In fact, this entire post is written as a token of gratitude to those who liked and commented on my posts – thank you, my dears! Even now, when I've retired from writing, I still sometimes reread the comments, and it warms my heart!

I hope one day I'll get back on track and pick up a pen and a laptop to please my old and perhaps new readers. I want to, but I don't have the resources yet.

I love you all, my dears, and thank you again for all the wonderful emotions you gave me!

P.S. This isn't a farewell—it's gratitude. All my work is still available, and I have no plans to delete it.

Oh, most of this was written a long time ago, but last year I was struck by terrible depression, and then I was also burdened by chronic fatigue. Honestly, I think I've completely forgotten how to write and form sentences. So, unfortunately, I can't promise anything because I don't want to give false hope. And this blog is already pretty overgrown with cobwebs, but perhaps inspiration will strike after the requiem is released.

I will miss you forever. I will love and remember you even after many, many years. I hope your soul has found peace and in heaven you will always have a full bowl of food and water and the softest clouds🥀