Alabanza

gun to your head, you HAVE to make an R-rated scooby doo movie. What do you do

completely normal silly movie but shaggy hits a bong in every scene

its a different bong each time BTW

ten minute lesbian scene between velma and daphne

Fred says Fuck, two times

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

where's that native meme that's like "lol you worship the sun lmao" and they respond "ok. the sun is real"

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

Our industrial sized thing of paracetamol (acetaminophen) is almost gone and I despair because I am not going to the US any time soon.

😭

"Liver failure in a bottle" is fucking right.

Okay. I am going to have to go look that up and verify that thing exists because it looks like bullshit. PainQuil? That's just straight acetaminophen in a suspension? There are no gags in the image so I am verifying before I blow it off.

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

(For those not in the know, @castformbignaturals is alluding to the fact Memphis is a majority Black city that stands to have its congressional representation entirely wiped out by redistricting led by the Republican governor of Tennessee who has, of course, welcomed the ICE occupation with open arms. Again, the project of MAGA is to reintroduce Jim Crow)