Alexandra Cavill

       There were a lot of informations coming from her daughter. Excitement was visible, and that was how it took her back to the early years together, when Alex was only a kid. Jumping on the bed until Melanie came to put her to sleep with one or two famous story tales and a good night kiss. Sometimes, Melanie fell asleep with her, only to realise she did the morning after. Though, Alexandra probably didn’t remember. 

She brought her knuckles to her daughter’s rounded cheek and caressed her lightly in a very maternal way, watchful look on her features. Melanie had missed her so much, she was loving every moment she spent with Alex, taking everything she told her with interest even if Alex thought it was silly. It wasn’t. 

“Friends, huh ?”     She teased her back, brows high, eyes wide open while her lips pulled into a sly smile.     “From what I saw and understood - what you told me, it sounds like a little more than friends. But no LJ is still as crazy as she used to be.”     Did she remember meeting up with the Folgers a few times before departure ? Great investors from Wilford’s opinion.     “I’m glad and relieved you stayed away from her.”     Christ, so much had happened since she left. Her hand came to her little dark wavy locks - nothing like Melanie, that was definitely her father’s part now. 

Melanie didn’t comment on the honour remark. She clearly didn’t deserve that title, exactly how Alex explained it. But she knew some of them were still in awe of her explorations, her researches and the way she had come back.  “I think, it was the mother title that got to Carly.”    She said with a smile, still lost in her curly hair. She wanted to add that she had seen Carly grow up on the train, just like she should have witnessed Allie, but repressed it. 

At Alexandra’s question, Melanie sighed and sat on the edge of the desk, pushing aside some of her work. Hands joined together on her lap, eyes drifted to Alexandra,    “Oddly, I feel very fine.”     She massaged the side of her neck, were she injected the drugs,      “Signs of suspensions are almost completely gone.”      Melanie nodded,     “I’m glad to be back for you, and yes, the passengers. but I heard from Layton that you made an amazing job. I’m proud of you, you know that ?”

     Allie’s excitable rambles trailed off when Melanie reached her arm out, knuckles tracing gently across her cheek. A smile tilted her lips upwards, her brown eyes softening. The affection was welcome, especially since she had believed her mother to be dead not too long ago. “Yes, Mom, friends,” she reiterated, recognising her mother’s teasing smile and feeling a happiness run through her, even though it was a little embarrassing to think her crush on Carly was so obvious. “Okay, maybe more. I don’t know. We haven’t discussed that,” she added. “Besides, I’m the weird girl, remember? She might not even like me in that way.” It amazed her how clearly Melanie saw through her to the truth, even the ones she was reluctant to admit to herself. Though, she supposed that was normal for a mother, even one who had been apart from her daughter for so long.

     “LJ is...different for sure,” she shrugged, “but then so am I. She’s just ... a more extreme example. I’ve heard the rumours about her, the things she did while I was on Big Alice.” Alex grimaced and continued, “I don’t remember her being quite that insane when we were kids before the freeze... though, I don’t remember all that much at all anymore.”

     “Don’t worry, Mom. No one I hang out with is going to corrupt me anymore. Promise,” she smirked, her voice light and humorous. Since returning to Snowpiercer and working with Layton and the others she had become more sure of her own mind and what she believed in, the paths she wanted to take. “Yeah -- maybe it was the fact you’re my mother,” she agreed, wondering for a moment whether perhaps Carly did like her.

   𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋 - 𝙰𝙻𝙲𝚇𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚁𝙰  

  ❝ The biggest. ❞ Audrey agreed, lifting her up and peppering her small face with extra kisses.  ❝ You can even help flip it if you want to. ❞ Of course, Audrey would be flipping it and holding onto the pan, though she would make it so Allie thought she could do the majority of the work. Alice in Wonderland – It struck Audrey that Allie’s obsession with the children’s literature was titled after the name in which Melanie had named their prototype - - Big Alice; she didn’t think it a coincidence and wondered just how much Allie had heard of their conversations – she would voice her CONCERNS later. 

 ❝ We can watch whatever you like , but i’m not going to tell you anything about your party, it’s supposed to be a surprise. ❞ Audrey poked her little belly, loving the sound of her laugh and pretended to zip her lips up. About to proceed into the kitchen there was a knock at the door. A frown and she put the child down.  ❝Al, go and wash your hands before pancakes, i’ll be right back. ❞ 

She hadn’t been expecting anyone, and for a moment hesitated before opening the door. Greeted with a bark she stepped back, realising who it actually was and her brows drew up in SURPRISE.  ❝ Kevin? -  What are you doing here?  ❞ Jupiter broke free of her lead and pushed into the apartment, ignoring everything else to find the young child in which she was very fond of. Kevin too stepped in, handing Audrey his jacket and carrying several large packages.  ❝Wilford wanted to give Alexandra her birthday gifts, but has been detained, so sent me instead…oh, Melanie too. ❞ He looked at her with a bored expression, perhaps a ‘I told you so’ before proceeding further into the apartment. 

❝Ah –  ❞ Audrey closed the door behind him and folded her arms against her chest.  ❝So you have come to do his bidding and buy Alexandra off with gifts – I see. ❞ A tut and he placed the packages on the hallway table.  ❝Don’t SHOOT the messenger. Now – is there cake? ❞

 . 

   A stream of giggles ran from the child’s lips as she was lifted up by Audrey. Already, the little girl was hyper (being energetic and talkative was part of her personality when at home with her parents) and, after the sugar she was bound to ingest over the course of the day, she would surely be bouncing off the walls. “Yes, I wanna flip the pancake! Gonna make it fly so high!” she exclaimed.

     “We can watch Alice in Wonderland twice then? And you can read me the book when it’s bedtime. You have to read me the whole thing though, ‘cos it’s my birthday!” Allie knew exactly what she was doing - choosing a longer book which there was no chance they would finish in one night, just so she could stay up as late as possible. “I’m big now!” she added, with a decisive nod of her little head. Another giggle broke free when Audrey poked her in the belly and she squealed, then ran to the sink in the bathroom when the doorbell ran.

     Hearing the bark, Allie ran back to where her mother was stood with Kevin, drying her hands on her clothes. “Puppy!” she squeaked, even though Jupiter was not a small dog, and ran to pet her. “I missed you, Jupiter!” Kneeling down, Allie hugged the dog around her neck, laughing at the slobbery feeling of the animal’s tongue against her cheek.      The mention of birthday gifts grabbed Alexandra’s interest and the little girl smiled up at Kevin. “Gifts for me?” she asked, smile widening and outstretching her arms towards the packages as they were placed on the hallway table. “Can I open them now, Mama?” she pleaded, one hand again petting Jupiter’s dark fur. 

     “We’re having cake and pancakes. Huge ones as big as me!” she told Kevin. “Is my Mommy coming too?”

    𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋 - 𝙰𝙻𝙲𝚇𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚁𝙰  

                Audrey wasn’t even able to administer morphine, knowing it had been used up days ago; no time to yet make more. Wanting nothing more than to SOOTHE the distress the young girls body was under she placed a shaky palm against her shoulder. Anymore and she would likely be shrugged off, but she could make this look inconspicuous.  ❝ Yes, he knows where Melanie is, and will take you too him as soon as you are well enough, but right now, I need you to rest and close your eyes. ❞ It may be the only way right now that the girl would be in less pain; and it would give Audrey a chance to get any bleeding under control. 

Quietly she explained the situation to Layton, who she knew couldn’t offer any more support than what was currently being offered – all scampering around on Wilfords orders. It was then that Layton had told her that Melanie was in Big Alice, that Wilford had her and her heart sank…she needed to know that Allie was still alive, that whatever pain they had all suffered, there was still HOPE. 

     Dark eyes, wild and round with pain, darted down to where Audrey’s hand pressed against her shoulder. The touch would have felt comforting had Alex been able to trust the woman wouldn’t use her as an attempt to blackmail Wilford in some way. Too distracted to shake her off, though also not entirely wanting to, she listened to the brunette’s words. “That man knows where Melanie is..?” She gestured vaguely at Layton. The confirmation was enough to calm her panic slightly, though she winced from pain every few seconds. “Okay, that’s good, that’s good,” she repeated to herself. “I don’t want to disappoint him... ” she thought aloud, referring to Wilford, her voice quiet but audible. “He’d be so mad.”

     Overhearing parts of the conversation Layton and Audrey had, Alexandra realised that Wilford had her mother and a jolt ran through her. She hadn’t expected him to get to her first, that had been her own job. Although she felt certain Dubs wouldn’t hurt Melanie right away - she was too valuable- and although Alex knew her mother deserved none of her concern, she still felt a slither of worry for the woman who had once meant the world to her. “If Dubs has Melanie you may as well give up now. You’ve already lost,” she intercepted, some of the strength forcibly returning to her voice.

     Alexandra found school challenging. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her teachers or the other children in her class, but she found herself missing her mothers terribly when away from the both of them for any length of time, as though they might leave and never come back. Rationally, the little girl knew that wasn’t at all the case and ran, arms stretched out wide, towards her mother as she unexpectedly spotted her at the school gates.

     “Mommy!” Allie exclaimed as she caught up to her, skinny arms flinging around the engineer’s middle, “I thought Mama was coming to get me like normal? I thought you had to work!” The tiny brunette was over the moon that her Mom had come for her - such a rare occasion as it was - and giggled brightly when she booped her nose and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Can we go get ice cream? Or candy? Or both! Please?!”

     Alex silently thanked whoever had designed the engine cabins’ doors to lock from the inside. Ironic, as that person might well have been her mother, whom she could hear from behind the closed door. ‘Doesn’t she ever give up?’ Alex thought with a sigh as she pulled herself up to the top bunk, leaning back against the wall of the car with her knees tucked up to her chest.

     Leaving her friends to join Melanie had been an impossible decision that Alex had put off making for as long as possible. At least, staying with her mom up-train, she could keep an eye on her and, if possible, convince her to take the turn. Despite her hope, Alex feared it would be futile and hated to think that some of her friends could die within the next few hours. Almost as haunting, were her Mom’s words earlier that day, before she had made her decision. That she may have lost her way as an engineer - a low blow. Alex found her lips forming the question that had played on her mind and, without much conscious thought, spoke the question aloud.

     Listening to Melanie’s assurances as well as her reasoning, Alex sighed heavily. The approval was something she craved from her mom, but she wished the woman’s words wouldn’t always sound so factual, filled with logic. The more rational side of her brain took note, but the younger engineer was headstrong, as stubborn as her mother and felt so strongly in favour of acting on the New Eden data. It was Melanie’s last words that swayed her emotionally, prodded at the little girl she used to be who simply missed her mom.

     Dropping down from the top bunk, she took the few short steps to the door and unlocked it, the door sliding open as her slim form was already retreating to sit on the bottom bunk now, eyes staring steadily up at her mother. “I need you too,” she admitted after a pause, “I need you to believe in me and all I’ve been working on while you were ‘dead’. I’m a good engineer, like you say. At least look at the data again,” she insisted, calmly, “What you did tonight was betrayal. I know you have your thoughts and your reasons, but we had a real chance here and you destroyed that.”

          God. People had prayed God for miracles for seven years. Melanie had lost faith somehow. How couldn’t she in a world like this one ? Though, she had felt lucky enough to be alive compared to others, even if each day had been pain and suffering only. Right now, she was thanking God. She had never believed so much in God than right now. Alexandra was a blessing herself, for being alive after all these years. And now she proved herself a miracle. Surviving all over again. 

Tear ran all over Melanie’s face without she could do anything to stop them.     “You’ll survive… Allie, you’re a survivor, always been.”     Lips pressed against her forehead several times before she stopped herself, but even she was peppering the palm of her hand. Dr Pelton was patching up her injury, it was still open but she had quickly anesthetized her small area. It hurt but probably felt it numb. Shaking her head, Melanie was able to breath all over again. 

    “He’s the devil in person.”     Her voice was firm, intangible.    “He might try… he can try again. But that’s not what’s important right now…”      She cupped her face sweetly,      “I’m going to undress you Allie.”    Index and thumb gripped the tiny zipper up her chin from the engineer suit.     “ Are you okay with that ?”     She was a teen, a young adult almost, so even if she didn’t have much of a choice, she wouldn’t do it without her agreement. Trust was still fragile, Melanie wouldn’t shatter it again.     “ I’m so proud of you… you have no idea how much I love you Allie.” 

     Despite the pain in her abdomen, which was doubling by the minute, Alexandra felt hyper-focused on Melanie’s safety the longer the engineer was by her side. Her large, round eyes scanned the roof of the car as though Wilford’s sinister sneer would appear in her peripheral at any moment. It distracted her somewhat from her own fragile state and it was preferable to focus on something that wasn’t the agony radiating through her body. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” she repeated, unwilling to talk about herself. Her voice had grown hoarse and burned her throat as she spoke, “He could come back. Mom, he could come back and hurt you. You don’t have to stay with me, I’ll be fine.” A sob broke free causing her to wince in pain. Her mom leaving was the last thing she wanted, but if it meant Melanie was safe and alive, she could take it once more.

     Alex’s lips pursed tightly together against further sobs and her eye sight blurred through silent tears. “Please, Mom...” A whimper sounded in her throat. Everything hurt. “I’m not important, but you... you are this train.” Alex believed her words now with everything in her. The train had always come first. “I think -- I think I’m going to die anyway,” she added, lower lip wobbling as her body trembled with a loss of blood. 

     When Melanie expressed the necessity to undress her and treat her wounds, Alex nodded frantically, hoping that if her mother wouldn’t leave, they could at least speed this up to where she was stable enough for them to return to the engine, to be of use against the man she had so recently admired. “Yes-- Yes, do it, do whatever, I just want it to stop.” She screwed her eyes tightly closed as the waves of pain, as though someone was pressing hot coals against her stomach, overwhelmed her. 

                ˜”*°•.     It  was  finally  the way  it  was supposed  to  be .  She  was  finally  the way  she  was   supposed  to  be . Powerful .  Invincible.  Back to  the  game . Back  into  the spotlight .  And  it was  nice ,  it was  gorgeous .  Wearing the  crown,  being admired  by  mr. Wilford,  being  trusted .  But  Oz  couldn’t see  it ,  couldn’t  understand . No .  He  was confused .  Thinking  that  running the  Night  Car  and  serving drinks  for  the rest  of  their lives  was  some kind  of  dreamland . Believing  that  being ignored   was  fine , that  knowing  nothing was  fine .  Had  he  totally forgotten  who  they were ?  Had  he totally  forgotten  what respect  felt  like ?  Well,  she  hadn’t . And  she  wasn’t planning  to  forget either .

A  delivery  to mr.  Wilford .  This’d been  the  task  for the  day .  A  visit  to supposedly  get  him  one  of the  special  scotches he  kept  at the  Night  Car .  And  yet, a  visit  that had  much  hiding behind  it.  Things were  going  to get  wild  on Snowpiercer ;  really  wild . And  it  was  fun ,  Oh  it was  exciting  to be  honest.  It was  exciting  to know  that  everyone would  get  back  to  the place  they  belonged.  That  this  circus  full  of  clowns  would  be  over .

Still,  it  was  the moment  she  walked out  of  the  ‘ prison ‘  that  she almost  stumped  into someone.  And  she was  ready  to toss  some  comment, say  something ,  but …  a  smile  was  flashed instead ;  the  person in  front  of  her,  definitely not  one  she  had  expected to  see ;  and  definitely  not  one that  she  had  needed  to  see .  Not in  this  place anyway .  And  definitely not  while  in  the  middle  of… something .  But  then,  Alex  was  quite  a  legend  wasn’t  she  ?  Returning  from  a  big  adventure  away  from  them  searching  for  what ?  Melanie  and  a   Hawaii ?   Things  that  hadn’t  exactly  been  found  as  far  as  she  knew.  ❝ Someone  is  back  from  vacation .❞   Words  came  out  dressed  in  something  the  almost  sweet,  almost  excited .   ❝ So  how  was  it ?  You  really  have  to  tell  me  everything .  ❞  And  stay  far  from  Wilford’s  car.

ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳ: @alcxandra​

     Processing the trauma she had experienced whilst working and living by Wilford’s side was taxing for the young engineer, but Alex felt she may be finally getting somewhere. There was not one person alive (or dead) on Earth whom she despised more strongly than she did that man. Yet, even so, Dubs was the father figure she cared for then, and cared for still. Her conflicting feelings disgusted her, split her down the middle, but it was her truth and she was learning to accept it, to accept herself.

     Although there would always be a degree of shame repeatedly swirling within her that she chose to visit Wilford, outwardly she held her head high and walked with a purpose towards the car he was imprisoned within. Turning a corner, she came to a sharp halt, straightening and leaning backwards just slightly to avoid crashing into another person on the narrow walkway.

     Wavy, flame-coloured hair was the first feature she noticed and a tight smile was forced upon her lips. “Lilah Junior, what a pleasant surprise,” she replied, a veiled bitterness to her tone. Although they had once become friends, their closeness had faded as Alexandra drifted from Wilford’s side and alined herself closer with Layton and his resistance. She felt no hatred towards the girl, had once even admired their similarities, but time had proven that their morals and true intentions did not align. LJ was arguably crazy. “Vacation is a strong word when we’re all living in a post-apocalyptic nightmare.” Her tone was friendly enough, though tinged with sarcasm that she rarely attempted to hide. “Why don’t we talk later? I’m actually sort of in the middle of something,” she added, stepping to the side in hopes LJ would let her pass. “What are you doing here anyway?” Keeping her voice causal, she raised an eyebrow, silently demanding an answer despite her calm tone.

“It may well feel that way but, no, I haven’t been avoiding you. It’s a big train.” The sarcasm flowed so freely from Alexandra’s lips as she turned to stare up at the man who was her father. The truth was, she had been avoiding Alex. Subconsciously, for the most part. She had made a habit of making a hasty exit whenever she saw him across a crowded Snowpiercer car. “It’s just a bit... weird... don’t you think? How Mom named me after you,” she commented with narrowed eyes. “You are a complete stranger to me. Hell, Wilford of all people has been more of a father figure in my life, as messed up as that sounds, but it’s just the way it is.” Alexandra shrugged. Although she had no intentions of being cruel, it felt unavoidable, natural. Alexander could handle it, she was sure, he was a fully grown man, after all.

“I know that, Mom,” Alex retorted with a ‘no shit’ expression across her face. “I feel that pressure every day. It was no different on Big Alice. You were either useful or else.” The sarcasm had quickly faded from her voice. It wasn’t so often she spoke to Melanie about her existence on Wilford’s train, it wasn’t often they had time to talk at all. “You know Wilford culled half his crew in Year 1, including my only friend? A literal child. He pulled me out of bed in the middle of the night. He chose for me not to die. I like to think it was for more than my relation to you. That’s when he started training me as an engineer. He had tested us all for our skills, potential, natural talents. Luckily for us, I inherited your brainpower.” She paused then, taking a moment to control her breathing.

        ‘ Everything is going to be okay, honey, I promise, ’    Breaking into sobs, Melanie crawled to her daughter until she jumped into her arms. Once connected to one another, Melanie fell on her behind and leaned her back against the wooden wall, holding Alexandra tightly, never wanting to leave her ever again. She almost did, if Wilford had not told her his plan, Melanie would be on this train right now, expecting her family to board anytime soon. Thank God he delivered his malicious scheme. 

Now what ? Melanie didn’t know. She just lost her parents, and her big plan for Snowpiercer failed. She’d need to rethink her future, their future.      ‘ God, Allie… you’re okay ? ’    She loosened her arms from her only to frame her face and inspect her features ; she looked fine. Another kiss, and another on her cheekbone before hugging her once more.     ‘ I love you so much baby girl. ’    She whispered in the crook of her ear tenderly.     ‘ Everything’s gonna be okay. ’    She lulled her softly for a while before she pulled back slightly, and recovered from her sobs. Chasing tears that appeared one after another, she did her best to smile back at Alexandra,     ‘ You stay here, okay ? I’ll be right back to get your stuff in your luggage. ’     She pecked her forehead as she made her way to the ladder.     ‘ Stay here, you hear me ? Don’t move and hide yourself until I’m coming back. What’s the secret word ? ’        Strawberry twizzlers. That was their thing, they both knew what they were referencing to. 

     “If everything’s gonna be okay, why are you crying?” the little girl countered through her own tears, too smart for her own good. “What happened? Who were those people in Grandma ‘n Grandpa’s house?” Her arms clung impossibly tight to Melanie and she hid her face against her, dampening her clothes with relentless tears. Even when her mother pulled back to inspect her for any injuries, the girl held tight, pressing her tiny self right back against Melanie once the woman was satisfied she wasn’t hurt. 

     Melanie’s soft words felt warm against her ear and the comfort she drank in whilst collecting fistfuls of her mother’s coat in the palms of her hands. “I love you too,” came the soft little voice, tears subsiding as she was soothed by gentle the touches and whispered reassurances. Her young brain had already begun to make excuses for the horrors of what she had seen.

  @alcxandra· 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝: “𝐬𝐨… 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞? 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫                                               𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐫?”

it wasn’t a question of preferential location, really, that wasn’t what alexandra was asking her, she was asking of out the both of her and melanie, who she was going to choose. the choice was impossible, but the decision even more so and her judgement and ethical principals wasn’t as they once used to be; the freeze had CHANGED her. it had changed everyone. 

had allie been a child, there would be no question of where she would go, but the truth of the matter, she wasn’t, she had grown up far beyond her years, quicker than she should have. a shake of her head, the back of her throat feeling sticky and swollen with emotion. “i don’t know.” audrey dropped her gaze then, tears blurring her vision. why was this something she had to choose? be with her wife, supporting her, or with her daughter, making up for the years she had missed. 

“what do you want me to do ?” she questioned, not really thinking the teen would give her an answer, not when she thought it might sway whatever decision was hanging between them. “do you really want me hanging around ? cramping your style ?” the tears fell then. “i thought that maybe i could make up for lost time when you first came here, onto snowpiercer, that i could be that person you had lost out on, but – i’m scared that it’s too late for that now.” 

if audrey didn’t have to make the decision herself, then she wouldn’t, as cowardly as that was. if alex asked her to go with her, then as her mother, she would go, because that was what her daughter DESERVED. 

 .

    As still as a statue, as though she felt if she moved, she would break, Alexandra stared steadily across at her other mother - the mother she’d forgotten and remembered in jumbled, unreliable chunks, which had taken tremendous energy to piece together in a mind so corrupted by a childhood raised by Wilford. The puzzle was complete, bar a few stray pieces she still couldn’t figure out - a product of months of difficult conversations, raised voices and overwhelming moments that too often ended in screams or tears or both. Alexandra had discovered two main, overarching conclusions about her lost and found relationship with her other mother: 1, Audrey would do anything for her. 2, they had been close before.

     She felt it, the closeness, deeply entwined within her heart. It tugged at her when she least expected it, had done even before her memories had fully returned to her. It was for that reason she felt confident she knew what her mother would choose, but still, she’d give her the choice. It was this that had prompted her to seek Audrey out, urging her mama to voice her decision out loud, so Alex could be sure it was truly her own choice. From how the past months had played out, the patterns and directions their interactions had followed, she felt certain of what her mother would choose, though even more certain she would fight for the last word to assure the woman she would be okay on her own, that Audrey could choose to stay with Melanie if she wanted to.

     The surprise that hit Alex when she was met with Audrey’s indecisiveness came initially as shock. For a second she was stunned into silence before, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes, she bit out, “What the hell, Audrey?!” Anger exploded from her petite form with the shout and, although it had become to feel natural for the girl to refer to Audrey as ‘Mama’ again - the title she’d held in the past - it wasn’t consistent. It was probably - no, definitely - unfair of her to pick and choose when to call her Mama and when to call her Audrey, Alex knew that, but her fury and natural sass blinded her judgement. “Don’t put that on me!” Her body trembled with such a deep upset, the force of all that was happening weighing on her heavily. “I’m leaving Mom behind,” she stated, voice breaking, “Do you think that decision was easy? Someone up there, if there is anyone up there, has it in for me, clearly, but that was my decision to make and I made it alone. This is yours. If you make me decide for you then you’re nothing but a coward.” It was harsh, but as far as Alex was concerned what Audrey had asked of her was far worse.

     Tears bubbled in her throat, nearly drowning her in raw emotions. The child she’d once been, which embodied a tiny fraction of her soul, wanted to scream at Audrey. She wanted to yell that it wasn’t too late for them to repair what little had been rebuilt of the inseparable relationship they’d once had, that she wanted to try, that her mama wouldn’t cramp her style... but, no, she stood there stubbornly and demanded that Audrey make her own decision, no matter what she chose.      Her or Melanie. That’s what her choice boiled down to in the end. Melanie and herself both had a strong purpose for choosing the way they had. Audrey could choose anything and that is what made her choice so agonising. Alex wouldn’t take it personally, whatever happened - or so she told herself, but even so she wanted to feel chosen. She craved feeling chosen.

Alex stared, unblinkingly, at Melanie as tears rimmed her eyes. Soon, the only image of her mother she’d see would be that in her mind's eye and the portraits she’d draw. So, she’d savour the real thing while she could - rare for something that should be a given.

“We have a couple hours before the separation,” she mentioned, stubbornly willing back the threatening tears, though her voice wasn’t as sharp and controlled as normal. “We could spend some time together now? It’s not much, but it’s something. It’s all we have.” Forcing a tight smile, she held it together - just about. “I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t feel I had to. I wish we could have more time. There’s never enough time.” She couldn’t deny that a part of her wished her mother hadn’t forced a change in their plans, that they were going to New Eden together, but - as usual - Melanie was right; the people deserved a choice. “You’ll come join us, though? When you know it’s safe...” Her brain whirred, brow furrowing with increased concentration, “We’ll send a signal, a message when we know New Eden is 100% safe and able to sustain life indefinitely.” Pleading eyes rose to meet her mother’s, “Maybe we can hope for something next to normal, one day. Well, as normal as is realistically plausible now.” Taking a step closer, Her throat tight, she added in a small voice, “There’s so much I’d like to learn from you.”