smoke and let it burn

Lorelai mirrored his smile, because she was sure that it was hard to say about someone that he thought he'd cared about or genuinely did care about in some capacity. He had at least enough at some point to want to build a life with the woman. "That's a really good way of putting it. Neither of you deserved to go back to something that was going to make you unhappy. Even if at some point it did make you happy." She never understood the idea of continuing to be miserable just to say that you hadn't failed. Lorelai laughed at his comment and nodded in agreement. "I know I'm magnificent and most are none the wiser to the fact I am anything but flawless." She gave a shrug, unsure if others would call it kindness. It wasn't like she was very open about her generosity and good nature that Albie possibly saw. She looked back at him, thinking over his question for a moment. "If I'm being honest, I have a question more than an answer in return. If you feel you have boundaries does that make it unconditional still? Because I think if the answer is yes, then that's certainly how I feel about you. And by boundaries I mean just the fact that if you did something I didn't agree with in the idea of a relationship such as having another partner without discussing it with me prior to anything happening or treating me in a certain way that I don't believe I deserve." Lorelai let out a small sigh, her forehead moving to his as she spoke softly but so he could hear her. "It's difficult when the parents; who were supposed to give you unconditional love, created conditions to receive any love. I know though what I have always felt for you is love, Albert. And I know that I love you for who you were and are today."

He didn’t know how his luck had turned around in the last few years, to find Lorelai. For her to be so kind and understanding in this situation. If the tables were turned, would he be as receptive? The chef thought back to when he had met Nathan Crane in a less than ideal manner, and found feeling disappointed himself that he most likely wouldn’t have been so collected in this moment if the tables were turned. “I think sometimes, people come into your life to guide you before they go,” Albie reasoned, “Whereas some are here to stay.” At her question, he paused for a moment, before nodding. “I think love is unconditional, but you need more than love for relationships to work. Boundaries, respect, trust, they all play a factor and are not necessarily unconditional in themselves.” He was glad that they were at the age where they could have an adult conversation about this, without it descending into chaos. “I’m so sorry, I wish I could say I didn’t understand, my parents' love for me was conditional as well.” And when he didn’t meet their standards, he was cast out. It was something he understood too well. “I love you, and I just hope to have really learned from my mistakes, because you truly didn’t deserve to be in the dark about this.”

Knowing him was an understatement. One that she'd take to the grave if she could, but if it made him feel at all better, she'd give him the truth. Maybe if he thought Nathan had been distracted with, it'd leave little room for him to be with Lorelai. Even if logically, Nathan could have been with them both? "So, what concerns you?" She couldn't help but be curious about it. After all, she'd had not one, but two of her friends now mention that they didn't trust the Cranes. Adding a third? Maybe it was high time she gave it more thought. "Albie, trust me when I say that I can keep an impartial mindset, okay? If you need to talk, then please. Talk. I'm okay with it, but if you want to leave it, I'm okay with that too." Even if she wanted to know now more than ever, she'd leave it alone if that was what he really wanted. "Thanks. I appreciate it a lot."

Albie didn’t really know what to say without sounding paranoid or crazy, or even jealous. “It doesn’t matter,” He told her, as earnestly as he could manage, not wanting to sound like he was brushing Verda off, or didn’t trust her enough to divulge. “I know you can…it’s just not worth digging it all up again, you know?” He hoped that, by taking up on her offer to cease discussing it, it would upset her. He grinned, “I’m really happy for you. Would love for you and the wife to have dinner sometime. See you around?”

"Of course. You haven't had that happen to you?" She asked, still watching the ascent of the people who'd taken a chance on the free-fall. It had been some time but Zahra would be the first to admit her youth had been rather wild. A couple nights had definitely gotten out of hand and ended with some of them hurling on the side of the road on their way back home from a club they technically shouldn't have been in.

“Not from a rollercoaster ride, no.” Admittedly, there was a lot about Las Vegas that he repressed, and less than savory endings of his nights thankfully only really came back in flashes these days. He glanced back up, waving at a shape he was sure was one of the dish-washers. At her question, he laughed in response. “That’s a cooler title than Motion Sickness Guy, for sure. Yeah, here with a few co-workers, guess I’m the dad of the theme park. What about you? Waiting for anyone?”

"True. Sometimes being too busy is not good. Currently it's wedding season and so, I am mainly busy dealing weddings because after all it's wedding season." he replied with a smile. "Maybe next time I will invite you to do canoeing with me and my friend. It will be fun," he added.

“Oh?” His interest piqued at the mention of wedding season, something the chef understood all too well, Amelie’s regularly assisted catering for weddings, especially at The Grape Escape. He was just grateful there had been a bit of a gap in the chaos the last few days. “Are you a wedding planner?” At his offer, he nodded, enthusiastically. “Yeah man, that’ll be awesome. Great to meet you, Dax. I’m Albert, but you can call me Albie.”

location: stomias point

It wasn’t often that Albie headed to the theme park, but a few members of the Amelie’s kitchen staff had made the suggestion for when their off-duty correlated with each other. He was there mainly as a driver to the park and back, making peace with the fact he no longer enjoyed rollercoasters like he had done in his youth.

Nathan. Crane. Shit. She knew him well, knew him better than well, actually. It wasn't unreasonable to think that a gorgeous woman like Lorelai and a handsome devil like the businessman could have ended up together. "I know him," she admitted, tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth as she weighed her options. On one hand, she could admit to the things they'd done and on the other, she could keep an innocent element to a relationship that should have been strictly business. "If you want, I could ask him," she trailed off, voice doubtful. It felt like an overstep, but truly, she knew that Nathan probably wouldn't mind. "But maybe it doesn't matter, right? Trust me. I know there are things that Emmy did when we weren't together and I know that I did some not so great things too. It's just... if it's in the past, maybe leave it there?"

She knew him? Albie couldn't believe that, but then he supposed it was a town with a lot of local businesses as its main economic drive. Perhaps all the owners seemed to know each other in that capacity. Or, at least, what he told himself when it came to the distillery owner’s relationship with Lorelai. He had never been a jealous man, was unsure whether to call it jealousy, but Nathan Crane made him feel unease in a way he hadn’t felt in years. “No, I know. About their past, that’s not what concerns me.” He remembered the choice of words shared that day in the orchard. “Maybe we should…I don’t want to cause shit if you’re some sort of acquaintance with him. There’s just…you’re right, let’s just leave it.” He trusted Verda immensely, of course he did. But it also depended how far back she went with the other man. “Anyway, I shouldn’t keep you, just came by to say hello. And also, congrats. I guess.” 

Lorelai couldn't imagine anyone leaving in such a manner, and though she had a small sense of worry about getting close to Albie again when he first had moved here, it was not because of who he was. Though it sounded like he had not been in the best in that particular relationship, it didn't deter her. If there were problems she would be vocal about them. It sounded like the woman he'd been with had made the right decision for both she and Albert though considering he'd admitted he hadn't tried to reach out. "As ridiculously cliché as this may sound, and I really do despise sounding cliché, I think it sounds like everything happened for a reason and you came to terms with that. Perhaps that's why you didn't reach out? Though I don't want to sit here and speak for you, so please correct me if that's not the case." She shared as she watched him as he spoke. Part of her wish she could have been there for him, but after so many years, it wasn't like she expected a call. And she wasn't even sure what she could have said to him. Part of her was glad there'd been what seemed like quite a bit of distance between his proposal being over and him arriving here. "I want to thank you again for sharing all that with me, Albie. I know that couldn't be easy to open up about." She gave him a soft kiss to his temple as she smiled gently at him. "And I certainly am, surprisingly, an imperfect human myself. I know I've already told you how I was before I met you, and after we parted our ways I was keen on the belief that I was not meant to feel certain emotions including loving someone unconditionally. I was always upfront about not wanting relationships with others, and shut things down with others when it became clear they felt more than I would."

“The thing about clichés, darling, is that they usually work because they’re true,” He offered with an almost sad smile. Once again, Lorelai had it right on the money. She was perhaps the only person who knew him better than he even knew himself. “I think it’s because we both deserved better, I knew it wasn’t worth pursuing.” It was a relationship built on going with the motions. Sheri had been the first person he laid eyes on as a sober man and he probably excused the rewarding feeling of being clean for happiness and love. Albie reached to squeeze her hand in response. “You make imperfection seem very perfect,” He assured, half-teasingly. His heart panged as she spoke of her own credence in herself. “But you were kind, to never let things get as far as to cause further heartbreak.” After a bit, Albie, tilting his head, staring up at her. “And now? How do you stand on the unconditional thing?”

Lorelai listened, silently engaged as he spoke about his experience with this other woman. The way he described the woman, she couldn't help but smile a little. She figured he meant a bit of a health-centric, granola type of woman when she imagined the woman. It wasn't exactly like she knew what Albie's type was other than herself, but it wasn't exactly the type of person she was. She sensed there was a lot of fear that he'd felt at the time of when all this was happening, and maybe even now in re-sharing this. Remembering how when they first saw one another, she'd mentioned her sympathies on his old restaurant, not realizing at the time that he'd played a rather poor hand in his decisions. But Lorelai could tell he held a lot of regrets and remorse. The way he explained how he felt like because he was slacking in one aspect of his life he tried to improve on another aspect. She did wonder if he truly had loved this woman. It sounded like once things began to improve again for him in cooking though, he'd chosen his love of food over the woman. Lorelai nodded as he finally seemed to answer her original question. "And since she left, you've not heard from her?" It sounded like he'd really had a lack of closure in any sense. "You're allowed to feel that way and have regrets, my love. I don't mean to simplify how you're feeling at all, prioritizing your career over someone who was expecting you to prioritize them wasn't wonderful. Can I ask how long ago she'd left before you moved here?"

Perhaps he should have been terrified of how calm Lorelai was being. But one of the many reasons he loved her was because of how rationalshe was. She had never seemed to fly off the handle, not even the day Nathan fucking Crane was bothering her. "Not directly, she had a friend come over to the house we lived in to pick up some more stuff and tell me to take care a couple days after. That was it." He confessed, "I never tried to get in touch either, though." And truthfully, though he'd only admit it in under the anonymity of nighttime, dark and unable to see who was who, he didn't regret not chasing her down and potentially fixing things. "It wasn't, but...I guess I thought she'd undertstand. Because I would, if it were the other way round." And maybe that was the problem, a problem he potentially had all along, not being able to get someone else's perspective. "I went around Europe for six months after the break-up. Just some of my favorite places from my first backpacking trip, but with a bit more money and experience, obviously. Then I returned to LA and after a couple of weeks decided it felt...empty." He paused, running a hand through his dark curls, "Vegas wasn't an option. I didn't...trust myself. So I went home, to New York." And then he realised he had no family in such a large city, his only companion leading him to this small town. "When I discovered New York wasn't for me anymore, I found myself here. The rest is history."