Bruh

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore

and good luck explaining things to your insurance provider!

my sister is breaking up with her dogshit boyfriend who pressured her into agreeing to an open relationship and then closed the relationship back up again when he realized she had game and he didn't. and i messaged her like does it make you feel a little better to know that men will even do this shit to megan thee stallion and she was like yeah. if it can happen to her it can happen to anyone.

"you couldnt make seinfeld today" you couldve made seinfeld in 45 B.C.

Pond horsey

Chip used to escape into the pine barrens and go in ponds to eat yellow pond lilies. This brings back memories.

Choosing to believe this is where Artax ended up.

swinging at the bees nest here but a criticism of trans women i've never really understood is that they just "take the idea of womanhood and co opt it and run with it based on their own whims." like ummm yeah? that's kinda what i did too. i wasn't handed some objective universal definition of womanhood that i faithfully carried out at every turn with no objection. i built my own understanding of what being a woman meant based on the women around me and the women i admire and the things that felt authentic to me and the things i rejected or embraced. like we all inherit ideas about womanhood and then negotiate with them. otherwise we'd all genuinely think the only "real women" left were those fucking trad wives

It is genuinely mind blowing to me just how many Tumblr posts have changed my life for the better and taught me to be happier. Not all of the thoughts originate on Tumblr, but the way people collect and frame them has literally changed my brain chemistry.

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

this is a fucking futurama bit

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

Encounter: junior league hockey god

the only thing that you should be deadnaming is the cursed bird app (aka twitter)