she shrimp on my scamp till I pee

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

i love echolalia so much i truly do but i am so sadly limited by the range of my human voice. i wanna mimic cars and kettles and microwave beeps and chirping birds and computer keys and rushing water. making cat noises isn’t enough i wanna sound like a fucking synth.

You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird

who up pushing their boulder

Who's up watching their boulder roll down again

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

dude your poem fucking bit me

#dude your dog is thought-provoking and beautiful

perfect addition, no notes

diet culture people make me feel like i’m going crazy. you want me to take an experimental pill that destroys my appetite?? you want me to remove part of my stomach??? you want me to stop eating bread and rice, two of the staple foods most inherent to humanity????? why exactly? because my stomach is big? because you don’t like the way i look, and you think it’s reasonable to tell me to carve pieces off of myself and try random drugs and ruin my own life so i can look more visually pleasing to you? and you somehow don’t see how absurdly cruel and selfish that is to ask of somebody???? while pretending you care about their HEALTH????????????????? FUCK YOU!!!!