Country Mouse

“A pathetic mess, huh?” thought Yoichi as he played with the cigarette in his right hand, its ends starting to wither.

“Something to remember me by” she had said playfully back in the day, when one carefree afternoon she threw that cigarette at him. Before he even realized, he had caught it might it.

Rion smirked, another cigarette swinging on her lips.

“Good boy”. And then her face lit up.

“You’d die before you smoke it.”

Nagumo instinctive smiled with that disgusting, sweet grin that made her skin crawl. Rion always found it extremely unsettling, the closest to an uncanny valley she would ever know in her whole life. She knew, better than anyone, how fake it was. His real smile barely crossed his face nowadays, especially after she captured it in a photo she refused to delete. 

Yet, she still actively chose to pretend she didn’t notice the difference. 

She seemed unaffected by that grin on his face.

Whereas Taro was the closest to an older brother she never had, Yoichi was the closest to a best friend she would ever have in her lifetime. But in their line of work, none of them could afford vulnerability, fragility or strong bonds.

“Call yourself lucky if I don’t throw it away later.”

Calmly, she just gave her first huff.

“Be my guest” and her amber gaze fixated on his dark eyes. “Deep down, you won’t dare”

He hated that she was absolutely right. 

Of course, she was.

Months later, he was still holding to that cheap cigarette because it was his last memento of her, the last memory of her he could cling to, the last reminder that she was real and not a figment of his imagination.

Rion Akao was dead.

Or at least, that was the word on the street. They claimed that Kei Uzuki had killed her.

Yoichi couldn’t help but to hysterically laugh at the absurdity of the rumor. Had they truly seen Uzuki? That man was as weak and pathetic as it could be. And if he remembered correctly, Rion was a bit taller than him. How the fuck did he manage to put a bullet in her?

She was stronger than him. She could’ve pinned Uzuki down and disarmed him quicker than what it took to say his first name.

Unless…

Kei Uzuki had managed to achive the only thing Yoichi Nagumo always failed at: Earning Rion Akao’s full trust.

The cigarette in his hand was burning him, despise the fact that it remained unlit. He wanted to throw it away, as it was suddenly a reminder of his own cowardice. Born into a family of spies, he had rationalized that love was transactional, an excuse to inflict pain on others without feeling regret. And for an assassin, what was the use of love? Love was just a tragedy in the making…

Yoichi wasn’t in love with Rion. But her face was the first thing in his mind when he woke up, and her name was still the only one he desperately called in his dreams. 

His body remained still in the cold rain, the grip on the cigarette firmer than before. 

The end of Rion Akao’s life sounded like the kind of fucked up jokes she loved to throw around, especially when Uzuki and her body faded into nothing.

Perhaps, she…

Unable of letting it go, Yoichi Nagumo, once again, put the cigarette inside his chest pocket, close to his heart. 

He would relentlessly tease her about falling for Uzuki. She would get so annoyed, but before she could land a punch on his face, he would give Rion her cigarette back, lighting it up. And as she always did, she would find that nicotine sweet enough to soothe her, enough for her to cockily smile about her being right: Yoichi wouldn’t dare to throw her away. Yoichi would just smile in return.

For his sanity, he needed to find her. He selfishly desired for her last smoke to be with him. After all, he still had her cigarette.  

But for a fleeting moment of happiness, she deluded herself into believe that she wasn’t a monster. At Jujutsu High she found the per… No, not the person, but rather the place she belonged to. Calling it a home would be terribly cheesy, especially when for a long time she had to share her space with a talking panda and a kid whose mouth only spurted “salmon”, but home was also the closest word to define the atypical and questionable school that had sheltered for the last two year, that so much needed escape from the suffocating estate she was raised in.

No one at Jujutsu High, from her classmates to her even more dubious teachers, would dare to call Maki a disgrace. Instead, she was the always reliable Zen’in-senpai, a weapon specialist and an expert in hand-to-hand combat. But she wasn’t just a tool. She was a dear friend, a title she never really felt worthy of. Why would she even bother in bonding with others if she was going to take them down with her? Her goal was something that only she could do by herself, and for herself… And Mai.

Without any Zen’in clan, Mai and Maki would finally be free to be whoever they wanted to be.

And she knew perfectly that Mai wasn’t willing to become that monster to achieve it.

If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know! Let’s crush the Zen’in clan!

That boy, the one who looked like he hadn’t slept a single day in his whole life, said that with a nervous smile in his face.

But he had never lied to her. That Christmas, she felt cold feet for the first time in her fifteen years.

Maki had never felt more comfortable and open with anyone, but him. That goofy looking kid with an awkward smile.

She left the room after that. She told herself not to believe it.

But she didn’t forget what he also confessed so earnestly genuine.

I want to be like you. Strong and resilient. I want to be like that.

Monsters weren’t meant to be admired. They were frightening. Others feared them.

Yet, his eyes were fixated on her. He didn’t know what was in his eyes, but they never left her.

So, she, unconsciously, tried to become the person he saw, even if his gaze was now admiring the landscapes of a faraway land.

Sometimes, she can’t help to wonder what would’ve gone differently if he had been there, by her side as he naively promised, when she took every single life that had spitted on her and murdered her younger sister.

If he had been there, maybe Mai…

No. Her destiny was always to become a monster chained to a heavenly restriction, that anomaly in the jujutsu system born once a generation.

It didn’t matter how stubborn she was. Even if she fiercely fought against it because she found some comfort into thinking that she was in charge of her own life, that she could change that trajectory…

Her fate was sealed.

Maki became that monster.

And whatever little remained from her soul, silently prayed that her sacrifice was enough to protect those precious to her, especially the smile of that boy who, just like her, was looking for a place to belong.

She couldn’t protect him.

It was inevitable that. He had always been stronger than her, except for those first few months in which he could barely hold a sword firmly in his hands.

She shouldn’t have been surprised that his self-destructive ass had jumped at the idea of becoming a monster, to profane the body of the mentor he had revered, if his sacrifice meant that everyone else would be safe. His loyalty to those he loved was as unwavering as her.

It was a terrible idea.

Didn’t he just start to believe that his life was worth living?

No one, but him, truly listened to her opposition. A bit roughly, Maki reminded him that they cared deeply about him while the others kept quiet, resigned to what they were already addressing as their last resort.

She only made him furious.

He was quick to remind her that it was fair that only Gojo-sensei had to take the burden of becoming a monster on his own every time their weakness cornered them.

Maki hated to admit it, but he was right. But the truth was that she didn’t care as much for Gojo in the same way she cared for him. As she had overheard Panda a few times, she was only nice when Yuta Okkotsu was around.

She couldn’t help, but to put her faith in Satoru Gojo, as blindly as he did. She gasped when she noticed that she was praying that the strongest were enough to prevent them to bring into reality Yuta’s suicidal fantasy.

And before someone else noticed she was willing to participate in their plan, she left like a storm.

Stomping loudly, her feet led her to her room.

But if she was being honest, that room wasn’t hers alone.

It was their room. The dawn of humanity was upon them as to care that a teenage boy and a girl were sharing a room. Every night, they pretended they were normal teenagers and tried to catch up. He fascinated her with all the tales about the food he tried while he was traveling around Africa with Miguel, and he listened attentively when she reminisced happily about the goodwill event he missed when he was abroad. They both avoided certain topics. Yuta just quickly glanced about the fact that he was commissioned to assassin Yuji Itadori, whereas Maki barely delve into how much she missed Nobara and her sister.

By the time they realized how late it was, neither of them wanted to move. He was gentleman enough to give her the bed, while he barely managed to cover his taller body with a couple of blankets on the floor.

Maki’s knuckles were hurting.

The only way she could deafen the loud knocks on their door was by punching the wall.

She knew perfectly that Yuta was behind the door.

Fifteen minutes went by until he stopped, exhausted. She heard his long sigh before his body hit the floor, stridently.

Maki, what do you want from me? We both know that we don’t have any other choice. None of you is willing to become a monster, so I’m stepping up. Don’t worry, I’ll be the monster, so you don’t have to if we go to those lengths…

Maki looked down at her hands, covered in blood.

Yuta was wrong. He didn’t need to become a monster, especially not for her.

She was already a monster.

And she wasn’t even a good one if he was so willing to still take that role from her.