Welcome to my world

In this dream, we are baking cherry pies. We are baking cherry pies in the middle of a sunlit kitchen and leaving them to cool on the windowsill.  I want to say that there is sunshine spilling everywhere. I want to say that it’s falling out of the gaps between your teeth because it probably is. How could it not be?  In this dream I put my mouth on your mouth and try to catch all of that happiness with my tongue, we play soft music that sounds like sighing  and I breathe like a paper bird rustling  against your tongue.  Did I say that there is a meadow in my stomach? Did I tell you that you were every flower inside of it? I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. You knew, how could you not?  In this dream, you are probably licking my fingertips clean, and we are dripping cherry jam on the counters.  In this dream we are dancing barefoot on a wooden floor, tangled so far inside of each other like knitting string.  I am kissing your shoulders  and paying special attention to the dusk setting in your hollows.  I am sticking my fingers in your belly button, and your ears and right there, where you’re all ribs.  In this dream, we are belly full,  I’ll kiss your knees and I’ll stroke your hips, I’ll comb your hair. In this dream, we sit side by side and hold hands and knock our bodies like bowling pins.  In this dream I’ll feed you cherry pie with my fingers, you’ll kiss me with your mouth wide open, we’ll taste that sweetness everywhere, how could we not?

Are you quiet when you need to be loved? Or do you raise your voice into a lion’s roar? Will you nudge yourself into my hips? Will you bite my shoulders and say ‘I need you to love me harder today’? Are you softer in the mornings? Which side of the bed do you like to take? Do you sprawl yourself out and steal the covers? Do you sleep naked? Do you take your coffee black? In the summer, do you flip the pillow and sigh when your cheek touches the cold side? Do you keep the windows open at night? If so, how? Aren’t you scared of monsters? Do you know that I’m scared of everything that lives in the dark? Are you aware that sometimes I get so nervous I forget how to move my feet? Can you be patient? Can you be gentle? Do you know how? Is there a quiet war raging inside of you? When you curl your fists and raise your chin, are you donning your armour? Can I help? Can I fight all of your demons with you? I won’t shy away from them, not if it would make you happy. Do you know that I’d stand in the dark in an empty room for you? Do you know that I trust you’d never ask that of me? Do you know that I don’t flinch when you cup my face? Even though if you so much as twitched too hard you could break me? Isn’t this what trust looks like? Isn’t it how I am always skin and emotions for you? Isn’t it saying ‘I love you more today than I did yesterday, but it was a whole lot yesterday’? Listen, do you feel safest when you’re holding yourself together? Do you think someday you can let that go? Will you let me take the pieces of you and keep them close? Can you let me love you? Will you learn how to? It doesn’t matter, I’ll wait.