I know many people say 30 is the big number, but itâs the big 2-8 for myself. While others mark milestones in age, I mark mine in growthâself-growth; mentally, physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. Tell me ten years ago that I would be where I am, I would think the way that I think now, I would laugh wholeheartedly in your face. But I am here!!! Those on the outside which is most, if not all of you, could probably say I have been through nothing, there are worse situations than my own, or there are people who have experienced way more than I have in my short life. But my here, is simply Mine. No one knew how much I was actually fighting for my life. It was not drugs that gripped me, or alcohol, it was not even sex. It was the devil himself, tugging at my worth, toying with my mind. He went so far to show me how much I meant nothing to others by me being physically mistreated, mentally stabbed over and over, emotionally ripped to shreds. But I always thought there was a God, who loved me enough to have me endure. So the devil tried to spiritually brainwash me. But the God I know, is the only God there is, and ââŚHe said that He will never leave me, nor forsake me, so that I can boldly say, He is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.â [Hebrews 13: 5-6]. You may think 28 is not such a big milestone for anyone, but it is my most enormous one. I have watched myself break and tried to put myself back together. But because the glue I had was of no good use, I watched myself shatter again and again. It was like these years have been an out of body experience because I kept watching myself break and crack, make mistake after mistake, stupid decision after stupid decision, until I had enough of my own hopeless remedies for healing. It was not until four months before my big 28 that I had had enough and dragged and carried all the broken, shattered pieces of myself back to My Creator. And why not, it is He who created me, so who else would be able to fix me??? Who??? And as rapidly as He was fixing me, I was able to see and learn what He was teaching me. âTherefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.â [2 Corinthians 5:17]. It was in those prior months where He thought me how to let go of everything; of all pain, feeling of mistreatment, all anger, all horror, all false ideas, all my sins, ALL of ME. He took 27 ž years of everything I have been through, everything I felt, every instance where I could do right, every instance of where I could do wrong, and He threw it all away, as far as the East is from the West. He made me new. God has shown me how to be His. He has shown me love, and His love because He is love. And anything else that may look like it, feel like it, is not it because it only comes from Him. He showed me that I only have to trust Him, for when He shaped me and molded me with His mighty hands, He had already provided everything that I would need. He showed me that I donât have to lie to Him by lying to myself. All I have to do is own where I fell and seek His forgiveness. You may think 28 is not a milestone, but it is Mine. See I was not seeking Him first. I was seeking, like most everyone in the world, a false idea of love. So I found a boy, who grew to be a man, and I thought in him is love. But just like all counterfeits, you sooner or later see where itâs flawed, you see the cracks, the blemishes, the bruises. See I loved this counterfeit for almost 19 years, that when I finally realized what it was I was already broken and swept into a dark corner. 28 is not your milestone. I know that love can only come with embedding yourself in God. When you decide that He is your all, your spirituality flourishes and blossoms like never before. The best part of making God your all is looking at the world through His eyes. You understand why you should love your enemies. You no longer act on feeling. You are able to forgive. You appreciate why He sent His only begotten Son [John 3:16]. You can accept His love, and can easily show it. Believe me, I am not perfect and still have ways to go but the fact that He has rooted Himself in me and I was able to see Him in my reflection, I can only be excited that I have lived to see 28. @its-ok-life-goes-on @tee1805