air fried potato

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

it’s the funniest thing in the world to me watching shane make earnest attempts at bratting and missing every time. my little bratfailure. in the vegas bathroom when he tells ilya to suck his dick with that trembling voice and then he immediately turns away from him and wells up with tears. you tried baby. in the hotel room when he throws his underwear and ilya and then we see his life flash before his eyes. you tried baby! cottage roleplay when he’s trying to be all coy only to have ilya spread him out and make him purr like a kitten in 2 seconds. baby we see you trying. phone sex scene where he’s like nooooo stopppppp ilyaaaaaa and then proceeds to climb on the back of the couch for No Reason in his 2” inseam shorts so his dick is eye level with ilya’s mouth for No Reason At All. it’s okay shane baby you can’t be good at everything.

Oh. Ilya isn’t being nice to all the gay hockey players he meets by tripping them into the arms of their love interests because he wants them to be happy. He’s tripping them away from his love interest. He’s gonna make sure those hot rich men are otherwise occupied so they don’t go sniffing around Mr. Hockey himself, Shane Hollander, who they may or may not have heard a rumor about him being gay and probably available— Quick! Diversion attack! Go flirt with the cute social media guy! Look! Attractive bartender! Sexy musician, go go go!

Thank god that Ilya was obsessed with him cus he was really the only person Shane could ever be with for real. Imagine you have a competency kink and you only care about hockey and you're gay and you're the best hockey player in the world and secretly a pretty judgmental bitch(you won't admit that) so who else are you suppose to respect? Ilya tailor made for Shane for real and no one else was gonna cut it.

gifs by leejihoonedd