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These weekends starting to feel like 30 minute lunch breaks

why am I not a small, well-loved domestic cat

“You’re so quiet” nah fam I talk. Just not to you.

Having the permission to scroll through my phone’s pictures willingly is probably the highest honor of friendship I can give.

my life is a joke and i’m not laughing anymore

I’m sad & i want material items so i can be cured for 5 minutes 

The world is constantly trying to produce the hottest pepper, but never the coolest mint.

If you were born on June 9th, 2000, you’ll be 69 on 6/9/69.

If Cinderella’s shoe fit so perfectly why did it fall off so easily

Dracula had it right; sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a hundred bats to avoid social interactions.

Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

I’m not badass I’m sadass I cry about everything

In a room full of art I’d still stare at the mirror.

you’re someone’s dream person

can that bitch wake up and come talk to me then