Claire

Tea time ☕️ (Drew this over a year ago for the Sunshine Soap Zine. Some thoughts below)

He's about to rain down a million smooches

INT. CAPTAIN PRICE’S OFFICE – NIGHT

The mood is serious. Dimly lit. The tension is thick. Captain Price stands behind his desk, hands braced on the wood, jaw clenched. Gaz sits in a chair off to the side, wide-eyed, sensing danger. Soap is grinning like a schoolboy who just got away with skipping class. He’s recounting something—animated, smug, proud.

SOAP Mate, you should’ve seen her. Bloody firecracker. Had me gasping for air. Not to be crass, Cap, but let’s just say—she's might be stronger than me. She's a beast, I’ll tell you that.

GAZ (eyes widening) Johnny, shut up.

SOAP What? What?! I'm just sayin’—I’ve never been folded like that in my life. She said she was into military guys and I was like "say less."

GAZ (horrified) Soap—

PRICE (very, very quiet) Her name?

SOAP Uh… [Y/N]. [Y/N] Price.

PRICE (pause. calm. too calm) [Y/N]. Price?

SOAP Yeah, mate. Brunette. Killer smile. Cute little tattoo on her hip that says—wait… (he freezes, blinking) …Price?

GAZ(whispers) Oh my God.

PRICE (face turning red, voice rising) You slept with my daughter?!

SOAP (panicking) Wait—wait wait wait, hold on! Your daughter daughter?!

PRICE (yelling now) YOU BRAGGED TO ME ABOUT IT. IN DETAIL.

SOAP I didn’t know she was YOUR kid! I thought she was just a civvy! A hot civvy! She didn’t say anything!

PRICE She called me DAD, you absolute muppet!

GAZ (screaming from the chair) I told you to shut up, Johnny!!

SOAP (trying to recover) I—I can explain! It was mutual! It was passionate! It was respectful! I saluted her—twice!

PRICE (roaring) YOU'RE DEAD, MACTAVISH!

Price starts circling the desk like a bull who’s just been let out the gate. Soap starts backing toward the door, hands up.

SOAP Sir! Sir! Captain! Let’s talk about this like grown—AH!—

Price lunges. Soap bolts. Gaz leans back, takes a sip from the water bottle on Price’s desk, and sighs.

"If you're gonna kill me, just kill me, but for the love of god, shut the fuck up!"

"I can't wait to get my hands on that asshole."

"Hmmm... maybe you're good. Maybe you got lucky."

"You had to come in here and mess things up, didn't you?"

"You won't get any sympathy from me, asshole."

"Let's see just how impressive you really are."

"I don't know about you, [name], but I'm getting real tired of playing games."

"You're slowing down, [name]. Almost had you that time."

"Let's just focus on the mission and maybe we can continue this conversation when we get back. OK?"

"Just how much more of this do you think you can take?"

"Maybe [blank] is convinced. If they weren't, I wouldn't be here. But working with [blank] is gonna take some getting used to on my part."

"[name]—still with us, I see. Very impressive, my friend, very impressive."

"Just shut up and accept it, [name]."

"You're going to fail, and then you're going to die."

"How the hell are you still alive? You should be dead."

"That's just what [name] wants you to think. I'm just the bait—and you fell for it."

"Now here's the deal, [name]. You don't follow me and I don't bounce your head off the ceiling."

"I know, I know. I've done... I've done terrible things. Horrible things. I've killed your [blank]. Tortured them. And I enjoyed every second, [name]."

"Any idea what [name] is up to down here?"

"Don't worry. I'm gonna find a key to this thing and get you outta there."

"Please tell me what I'm looking at."

Shadowheart - [ BG3 ]

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