I don't want to get hit by a car.

cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

“tumblr ceo sucks too” oh mood my bad I honestly forget we even have a ceo I kind of just view this website as a self governed purgatory that runs on sulfur and spite alone

Despite not being a USA citizen, everyon has... no, MUST remember that the billionare Elon Musk has such a tiny, pathetic and childish ego, that he had the need to lie about being a hardcore epic gamer in Path of Exile 2, only to be caught red-handed as the hilarious sham that he is, and ban everyone who exposed him.

the doge meme is from 2013. its easy for dates in history books to get kinda blurry and to just print something like "the department of government efficiency was named after a popular meme at the time", but i think its important to record that musk named the agency that is illegally seizing our government after a joke so outdated that the dog in the picture has since died of old age

the worst part about having huge autistic fantasy worlds in your head is that it takes like 8 billion years to turn that into something substantial you can show people

like oh yeah man i have these 60 OCs and a whole plot about the ethical and moral implications of meeting your alternate timeline self and if it's worth sacrificing a whole artificial timeline to get back to your own time. no you cannot see them

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode