SENTENCE MEME ⟶ REVOLTING PEOPLE / 2.03
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
‘that’s not playing. that’s the cruel and unusual punishment of an innocent banjo.’
‘they’re not your friends.’
‘well thank god for that! it halves the pain!’
‘you should be blindfolded and shot, with all due respect.’
‘you’d think there’d be villages to burn, or plunder to plunder.’
‘things are as quiet as a eunuchs codpiece.’
‘i’m thinking of packing up my troubles and going on the road.’
‘in many ways, it’s actually easier to play the banjo with one arm.’
‘you call that generous? are you insane?’
‘there’s also the matter of pride.’
‘did i feel used? yes. did i hurt myself? yes. could i look at myself in the mirror? no, but then i never could.’
‘you’ll catch your death of exposure.’
‘why don’t you just feel my heart?!’
‘well, give some orders that involve passion every once in a while.’
‘you could be pelted with rocks.’
‘damn it man, have you got no gumption?’
‘what more do you need? a note from your mum? naked lute players?’
‘i can be passionate with the best of them.’
‘i’ll not fall into your trap, no matter how you tempt me.’
‘say it! before we both die of old age!’
‘my hand? all you want is my hand?! what about THESE?! don’t you want THESE, too!’
‘oh, relax. it was just girlish exuberance.’
‘i’m quite supple for a man of my… avoirdupois.’
‘i couldn’t help but smell the breasts. food! i couldn’t help but smell the food!’
‘it’s my job to measure trees.’
‘imagine what chaos would ensue if someone were to miscalculate the weight of a tree!’
‘i laugh, but there’s really nothing funny about that kind of faux pas.’
‘you’ve abandoned your family.’
‘you mustn’t talk that way.’
‘i went off on a bit of a tangent, there.’
‘what were you planning to do? hibernate in the wood forever?’
‘be honest, who would have missed me?’
‘her face contorts into a mask of pain whenever she sees me.’
‘are you saying i should go home with my tail between my legs?’
‘i’ve bought his silence, albeit at a price i cannot afford.’
‘i’m an idiot, aren’t i?’
‘can’t you see i’m bedridden?’
‘i’ll have to go on one of those special eating regimes. there’s this new one where you can eat as much as you want whenever you want provided you only eat carrots.’
‘i was promised servants!’
‘did you just refer to your son as a creature?’
‘you’ll just have to get out of bed and take some responsibility.’
‘and look how we turned out! a slut, a harden and a nitwit.’
‘how old would you guess i am?’
‘alright, no hurry on that. just give it some thought.’
‘you’ve knocked the door down again!’
‘it’s my first book: when cows dry up.’
‘why can’t we learn more about ourselves as human beings by studying the inner workings of our animal friends?’
‘i’m reading every single word! apart from the ones with these funny shapes.’
‘it sounds like the baby’s had an epiphany. a great big one.’
‘i would have knocked, but there’s no door.’
‘i don’t need to knock, because i live here.’
‘he’s never satisfied with the length of things.’
‘awh, jeez. just when she’s about to tear his head off.’
‘by your furrowed brow and by your face twisted into that vinegary snarl, i take it you’re angry about something.’
‘angry? i’m /frightened/.’
‘and that actually /mattered/ to you?’
‘will you kiss me hello, then?’
‘don’t you understand that my restraint is out of respect for your honour?’
‘where on earth did you hear that?’
‘you’re acting like a child.’
‘anyhow, i’m leaving. i’ve got a very important secret meeting.’
‘where’s your voice coming from?’
‘why are you dressed as an elk?’
‘i had some spare time, so i figured, ‘hey, i’ll stitch me up an elk suit’. as you do.’
‘you’ve been bored to tears, haven’t you?’
‘i’ve been as bored as the corpse at a funeral.’
‘i’m not prepared to talk to a man dressed as an elk.’
‘i don’t want to hear all your ludicrous insubordinate prattle about wooden mooses and what-have-you. just leave me alone!’
‘ain’t ours to reason why.’
‘i’d never say avast; that’s pirate talk.’
‘do you want to know what i would do in a situation like this?’
‘i’d appear in the dead of night dressed in this elk outfit. i’d do a rude mating dance outside her window, bellowing, guttural noises, and pawing at the turf. then, i’d void myself to mark my territory. then, i’d swing through her window, preferably an open one, on a vine. then i’d blindfold her and shackle her to the bedframe. then i’d pour a warm vanilla sauce over her. then, and only then, i’d turn loose the cats.’
‘when you say cats… do you mean wildcats?’
‘i was just telling you what /i’d/ do in this situation.’
‘you shouldn’t be here. what do you want?’
‘i must be out of my mind.’
‘we take turns wearing the pants.’
‘i know i don’t have the right to just barge into your life.’
‘what an entirely delightful surprise!’
‘aren’t you going to introduce us?’
‘i’m here to see the famous baltimore bird sanctuary and cheese castle.’
‘everybody reminds somebody of someone.’
‘hold your fire! i’m human!’
‘what are we, giving away free puppies?’
‘i’m late for my… thing.’
‘it’s too busy. i’m exhausted.’
‘think she suspected anything?’
‘you should get into espionage.’
‘you think /you/ had a trying day?’
‘my day was no stroll through the woods— oh, wait. that’s exactly what it was.’
‘i saw him bandaging up a bear which didn’t seem particularly sick.’
‘how many rich bear doctors do you know?’
‘please. don’t tread on my dreams.’
‘i don’t want to keep you awake with my restless thrashing.’
‘i wouldn’t mind a little thrashing.’
‘why not remove it from your pocket and let me see it?’
‘are we talking about the same thing?’
