from the sea to the stars

as a tl;dr my mental health over the past few weeks has been very poor & i’ve been struggling to do much of anything tbh. i’m not sure if i’d go so far as to say i’m getting better now, but it’s stopped getting worse so that’s something??

i’m going to drop some threads to try & help me ease myself back, but if we’ve talked about our threads ooc then don’t worry, i’m keeping plotted ones

42% Ravenclaw

23% Gryffindor

20% Hufflepuff

15% Slytherin

You believe above all in the importance of wisdom, which is why you undoubtedly belong in Ravenclaw, but your sense of adventure means you may also have an affinity for Gryffindor house. You are a thrill-seeker – you love to travel and there’s nothing more exciting to you than new experiences – and believe that adventure is essential in the pursuit of knowledge. You are brave, but would never intentionally put yourself in danger, placing you firmly in Ravenclaw. Your slight compatibility with Hufflepuff house suggests a deep love and appreciation for those close to you, which you may keep hidden for fear of being hurt.

# 𝙾𝙵 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚂:

1 / 2 / 3 + .

𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴: high / average / deep 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃: yes / no 𝙳𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚁: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other. 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed. 𝙷𝙰𝙱𝙸𝚃𝚂: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at distance.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐓𝐘. 𝚅𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙰𝚁𝚈: ◼◼◼◼◻ 𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽: ◼◼◼◻◻ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚄𝙲𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴: ◼◼◼◼◻

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘. 𝙵𝚁𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙽𝙲𝚈: ◼◻◻◻◻ 𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙸𝚃𝚈: ◼◼◻◻◻

𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐘. arse. ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. son of a whore. twat. wanker. pussy.

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓. christ. christ on a bike. christ on a cracker. damn. goddamn. godsdamn. hell. holy shit. jesus. jesus christ. jesus h christ. jesus h. roosevelt christ. lord have mercy. jesus, mary and joseph. sweet jesus.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 contractions or enunciation? straightforward or cryptic? jargon or toned? complexity or simplicity? finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? formalities or abrasiveness? praise or equivocation? frankness or lies? excessive or minimal hand gestures? name-calling or magnanimity? friendly or blunt nicknames?

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝙳𝙾 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚁 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁’𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙰𝙲𝚁𝙾𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙻𝚈 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚄𝚂𝙴 ‘𝚆𝙷𝙾𝙼’ 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴? yes / no / only ironically.

𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃. 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙳𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚄𝚂𝙴? but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they’re done here / remain quiet / they don’t.

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙳𝙳𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂? titles / first names / surnames / full names / nicknames.

𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙾, 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺? upper / middle / lower.

𝙸𝙽 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂? accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn’t.

but then over the past few days my mental health has tanked again. its probably not anything serious, its just dissociation so its not like im in any actual danger or anything, its just becoming very difficult to function & just generally unpleasant and distressing. i want to do replies but i just cant do much of anything right now, sorry!

“It was meant t’be a surprise.”

He reached for the light switch, flicking it on so they weren’t standing there in the darkness. In the light, she would be able to see the exoskeleton, the braces on his legs, and maybe seeing them for herself would help explain.

“Mack an’ I ‘ave been workin’ on these t’help me,” he started. “They’re not perfect yet, an’ am still a bit wobbly. I can’t keep m’self standin’ up for too long before I’ll fall, but…”

He lifted his shoulders to a shrug and took a step. The movement was jerky and he was right: he did wobble when he moved, swayed slightly when he stopped and had to balance. He reached to take her hands in his own, giving them a squeeze.

“I wanted t’surprise you for Christmas.”

When the light was turned on, she looked down at the exoskeleton. She blinked in surprise, taking in what he was saying and admiring his work. They weren’t bad. Obviously, just a prototype, with bugs to be worked out in future versions, but they could work. Part of Simmons wanted to take them apart so that she could see how they worked.

But another, louder, part of her wanted to admired them on him for longer.

She took his hand, holding onto him to help keep him stable. Her lips tugged into a smile. This was quite the surprise, indeed - though, she knew that she could beat it.

𝐇𝐄  𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐒𝐇𝐄  𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒  𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒    𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒  ,  and  expresses  such  with  a  scrunch  of  his  nose  before  taking  what  he  needed  to  .  it  was  heavy  —  there  was  at  least  that  and  it’s  not  that  he  isn’t  willing  to    help  but  wouldn’t  MACK  be  better  for  the  heavy  lifting  ?  the  guy’s  all  arms  .  ❛    you  gonna  tell  me  what  this  is  love  or  am  i  supposed  to  guess  ?   ❜

She nodded just a tiny bit, shifting on her feet. “Is there anything I can do? For… you or-or for him? I’m…”

She hesitated, unsure of what she should say, what comfort she could offer her friend. She wanted to stay, to be there for support, but she didn’t want to be in the way.

“I’m… I’m sorry, for earlier, I just… thought it would help him.”

Fitz took in a wheezing breath, noisier than the breaths he’d been taking. His hand kept twitching, curling around Jemma’s palm before he started to calm, the heart monitor becoming steadier.

Simmons opened her mouth to respond to Skye, but before she could get any of her own words out, Fitz seemed to be taking a turn. Simmons could feel her heart pounding against her chest, and she gave Fitz her full attention, preparing to jump into action if it became necessary - but then he calmed.

Simmons let out a small, relieved breath and shut her eyes for a moment, collecting herself again. When she was sure that her aloof mask was firmly back in place, and that she could speak steadily, she opened her eyes again.

bobbi  assumes  the  conversation  is  over  and  returns  back  to  her  work  but  soon  enough  jemma  continues  on  and  she  glances  back  up.  a  soft  sigh  pairs  with  setting  down  the  pen  in  her  hand  as  she  gets  up  from  her  chair.  “  the  point  is  we  don’t  know  what  the  point  it  –––  it’s  the  mystery  of  life.  but  you  know  what’s  going  to  help  ?  a  drink.  so  come  on  and  let’s  go.  ”

this isnt really a depressing post. i just remembered something that happened before when i was super active on rp tumblr and i wanted to say something

basically, a few years ago i was active in rp tumblr (i think i was about 15?) and i honestly dont remember much of what went down, but from what ive been able to gather from what i do remember, and what i posted at the time, basically it was a case of:

i made people uncomfortable (i didnt do anything severely bad - i was just making depressing ic posts, which tbh is p much standard for rp), and instead of talking to me about it people got passive aggressive. but. im autistic. i cant pick up on hints like that, and i assume they took that as me not caring, and eventually they blew up at me

i apologised for any upset id caused & then ditched those blogs because the thought of distressing anyone makes me extremely anxious & i was too anxious to get back into rp for years bc i didnt understand what had happened

and anyway, the reason im making this post is just like. as a psa sort of thing to remind people that... i am autistic and that impacts on how i communicate with others

if i ever upset you, you need to directly tell me. if you want anything from me, you need to directly tell me. i know that can be anxiety inducing, and i’ll do what i can to make it easier for you, but i won’t work it out by myself

i also want to say that whole mess made my anxiety worse, so sometimes (esp if ive been talking abt angst a lot) i get anxious about upsetting people. if i ever start acting weird thats probably whats happening - im sorry about that! its something im working on, but sometimes its still noticeable

anyway idk if this post makes any sense, im very sleepy.