You still go by James despite being a trans girl?
yes. i also go by river. both names are good
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@agentjx7
You still go by James despite being a trans girl?
yes. i also go by river. both names are good

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Not a sibgle fucking lemon lime or A&W root beer i guess. Ok. Fucking christttt
one of my favorites of all time
that’s kamala harris
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."
I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job
copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention
forbidden blue raspberry candy

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i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy
me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok
i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm
hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!
5 years ago i was this 🤏 close to ending it because i was trapped in an endless cycle of drifting and failure to launch but in the exact right/wrong state of mind i listened to the Long Lost album by Lord Huron and the song "Twenty Long Years" convinced me to take a huge risk with another move. i left my dogshit job selling things i didn't believe in, finally got my driver's license at 37 years old, picked up all the hobbies i had been previously limited from doing, and now i'm sitting outside on a summer evening listening to Lord Huron play live for free because i live with my beautiful partners in a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood that happens to be the site of a yearly music festival and when they're done playing i'm going to go home and watch dumb movies on discord with my friends while i finish prepping for my first table at an art market.
i dunno man. never kill yourself or whatever.
Avatar Yumi and her Yunit!
Art by the wonderful @ube-kun!
Avatar Yumi is the Avatar OC that I've been spinning around in my head for the last 9 years. My original concept for the Earthbending Avatar after Korra.
I call her story Avatar: The Broken Earth
The story goes like this:
75 years after Kuvira's defeat, the Earth Continent is divided between a number of states, most of which are ruled by authoritarian governments. And the most despotic of them all is Shield Island, an isolationist military dictatorship off the eastern coast of the continent.
15 years old Yumi has been a patriotic citizen of Shield Island ever since she joined the training academy to become a bodyguard to the island's Supreme Commander. But the course of her life changes when she finds out she is the Avatar, the sworn enemy of the state, the person she was indoctrinated since birth to hate.
Now she must flee the only home she's ever known and drift from place to place as a refugee, looking for safety. Along the way she meets new friends who will help her on her journey.
Andon is a carefree guy. A firebender from the lower ring of Ba Sing Se who's practiced in the ways of the road. He offers to become Yumi's guide and the two travel together.
Yonten is the great-great-granddaughter of Aang and proud of it. A rather arrogant airbender who cares deeply about a lot of things, which goes against her people's philosophy of detachment.
Reza is an industrious and polite young boy. Very smart but also very ignorant about a lot of things since he came from a sheltered home. That sheltered home being the mobile imperial palace of the Second Earth Empire, where he was the emperor.
Wy is a waterbender from the Foggy Swamp Tribe. A weirdo even by her own people's standards, she likes to dabble in the dangerous and off-putting. She rejected the path decided for her and chose to be an apprentice to an apothecary that many (including Wy) call a witch.
Likai is Yumi's animal guide. A spider-cat stray who lived around the bodyguard academy's grounds. He would always come back even when told to go away. He is the last connection Yumi has to her home. His name literally means "go away".
Reza is actually a non-bender.
The Second Earth Empire isn't a top-down fascist dictatorship like Kuvira's empire, but more of a loose collection of semi-independent states and warlords that all on-paper swear fealty to the emperor.
It's loosely inspired by the Soviet Union and the Warsaw Pact.
The setting as a whole is inspired by the Cold War era. The world is divided into two broad alliances, referred to colloquially as the Green Bloc and Grey Bloc.
I already started writing their story!
It'll be published on my AO3 (with maybe more art by @ube-kun)
btw, I intentionally made Yumi resemble Asami to reinforce the "face you loved in a past life" theory, that every Avatar resembles the love interest of the previous Avatar (at least when they're young)
More art by the wonderful @ube-kun!
These two are going to be the title cards for the first two chapters of the fic (whenever I get around to actually writing it)
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

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Tja
Found here 🦋
Depending on context:
* well then.
* ain't nothing you can do about it.
* well how about that then.
* you brought that upon yourself dude.
* it is what it is.
* that was completely to be expected.
* told you so.
Je nach Kontext:
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
Sorry but it's not complete without...
*monkey’s paw gives me a biiig thumbs up*
it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.
It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

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next season: "the bachelor" featuring every grant
i found a picture of dua lipa like this and then i blacked out and when i woke up this was on my monitor. the file name was "ccool pose pratuice". no clue how it got there. terrifying stuff.
anyway click on the image for higher quality