That One Blog, With the Stuff

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

I’m gonna kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) someone else (remembers murder is bad) on accident (realizes it’s not an accident if I say I’m gonna do it) and I know because I’m from the future (remembers lying is bad) no I’m not (feels guilty) I’m so so sorry (remembers actions speak louder than words) (does a backflip)

I’m just picturing this person collapsing on the floor in an anxious wreck, and some guy comes up, reaches into their mouth and pulls out an egg from seemingly nowhere, horrifying everyone in the vicinity, and all this creature says, in this dead, upsetting, emotionless voice like a prosecution lawyer, is “Egg.”

the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

what sort of sick twisted game is it trying to play here

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams