Rehmke

This song came on this morning and it hit like a ton of bricks. Carrying the mental load of motherhood is hard. I have to physically stop and remind myself that God has promised I don't have to carry it alone. Looking all over for one kid's sports jersey because they have districts today. Another kid is fighting a cold and dealing with the social drama of high school. My eldest is talking about her next steps in life as an adult. Trying to help navigate the next steps of life with all of them while still managing my own life. Sometimes it feels like a lot.

When you go through deep waters,     I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty,     you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression,     you will not be burned up;     the flames will not consume you. 3 For I am the Lord, your God,     the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;     I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place. 4 Others were given in exchange for you.     I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.     You are honored, and I love you.

5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.     I will gather you and your children from east and west. 6 I will say to the north and south,     ‘Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel     from the distant corners of the earth. 7 Bring all who claim me as their God,     for I have made them for my glory.     It was I who created them.’”

Isaiah 43:2-7

I started with the first verse. Just knowing my creator is with me. But it gets better. He clames I am precious to him, I am honored and valued. Even when things are difficult, we have a God who walks with us and gathers us up in community, in family, in friends, so we don't have to walk this life alone. The weight is not supposed to rest solely on our shoulders but we have to be willing to share that weight. Through my husband who covers our whole family, through our community that helps mentor my kids, and through God, who knows the beginning and the end and guarantees that things will work together for the good of those who love Him.

The boys that have come around however, have made me question society more than anything. We set basic guidelines and expectations. But I was not prepared for this round. My 19 year old is seeing a boy that's almost 20. Works under his parents and wants to build an apartment on their property and have a stay at home job... really? No motivation to get out on your own or do anything? While she works full time, is looking at joining the military and has plans for a homestead.

Next one was has been a hell no from the start. We have a 17 year old trying to pursue our 15 year old. Never worked a day in his life, video games are everything, wants to be a youtuber, bragged about skipping class because he slept in every day, and refuses to wear pants. He says sweatpants or shorts is all her will wear. Like what? Grunge I get, but dressing like a slob when you want to spend time with my girl...he even goes to church like that when he goes. Meanwhile, she volunteers with disabled kids, worked all summer, 3.5 GPA, studying to be a marine biologist and is already looking at college.

There is just something so beautiful about brick work especially stairs. I love the whole architecture of this place. So many have been 'modernized' that the beauty of craftsmanship has disappeared.

When God turns your chaos into cozy you just let it happen. Last night was long. I listened to a friend pour out her heart about issues that didn’t have answers mostly about her kids having to deal with unpleasant people. Then even though it was late I had to tackle an issue with a very reluctant young teenager and go to the store and do some problem-solving of our own. We didn’t get home till…

This is something I've never understood. I care about your faith because I love you as a person. I try to be the "hands and feet" as the saying goes and just let my life be an example. I have friends and family from all walks. I have had people who weren't even strictly following their own faith yell at me that theirs was the only true way just because they found out I didn't follow their same faith.

That being said I love to discuss the differences, uniqueness, and history to different faiths. One of my favorite young people started attending a church of a similar faith to my own about a year back. I was intrigued. I studied it right a long with him for several months, went to some services, asked questions. We had many discussions and I always encouraged him in his own personal walk.

However, after some time I couldn't shake the concept that some of their practices didn't seem to follow their script and some where straight against it. For the past 6 months I've watched my friend develop a shadow over his life and it seems like the more engrossed he is with his faith the worse it gets. He seems to have lost himself and is only interested in what the 'church' says and does. There is nothing else. I was feeling really down and emotional and felt I needed to share that this saddened me and some things just didn't line up. To please be careful and above all I love and care about you.

I was then yelled at that all my support had been fake and I should have said something sooner. How can I love if I were to give the greatest insult to his faith and call it heretical and full of disseat (which I never said or hinted at). I reminded him that my goal was to always support him as a person and that while I don't agree with everything, no 'church' is perfect and that's ok. And that I didn't say anything earlier because I was still learning myself.

That was no received well. I didn't tell him he was wrong, or that they were bad people, they really are amazing beautiful people. I am thankful for the support they have given him through this time of difficulty that he was in. But, apparently I can only love someone if I agree with them in all things? I don't know, I'm so hurt and confused.