Go pick up some wine and fuck Carole Lombard

when your cat licks his paw…then rubs his head with the paw… wow….that’s his shmapoo and conditioner…..

dammit i was supposed to fix everything today

hey bro qick question .do i seem like a person to you

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

Lowkey in a prison of my own making but it’s whatever

be careful with what series you watch/read during emotional points in your life because they will forever contain a ghost of your past self within it now

I feel like Robert Pattinson was born to be a strange old man actor. Like he's already great but he's really gonna hit his peak when he's around 70

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees

he's flashing his award losing smile