This is an 18+ sideblog for my main, @inhurtandincomfort. This blog will be dedicated to nsfwhump and noncon - please leave if that makes you uncomfortable!
18+ ONLY, MINORS PLEASE DNI.
My main series and ocs will be found on my main blog, but I might start posting some things about them here. In the mean time, I accept any questions about them, at any time!!
Character bio
Nsfwhump Wheel
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FORSAKEN / NSFWHUMP MASTERLIST
Set in the fantasy country of Aenora. Part of the Chronicles of Aeltaeon. A young sorcerer made a choice that would change his life in ways he could never imagine. Cast out as an outlaw from society, Eldwin finds himself in the hands of a powerful organisation known as the Black Syndicate, who treat him as nothing but a tool to use as they see fit. His life is filled with violence, cruelty, being looked down upon as a traitor who's only value is in what he can do for others.
He hates his work, but believes there is nowhere else for him to go - after all, what life can there be for someone like him?
CONQUERED CROWN
Set in the fantasy country of Xluvia. Part of the Chronicles of Aeltaeon.
When her country is invaded by another nation, Princess Tullia is taken as a bride for the man who now proclaims himself King. Grieving the loss of her family and struggling to adapt to a new life, she must fight to survive, while not losing herself in the process.
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Part three!!! Featuring some events outside of that basement :) kinda slower than the last two but you get it
CW: captivity whump, creepy/intimate whumper, some talk of death
***
Jesse frowned at his phone, another call went straight to voicemail. It wasn’t like Aster to not answer his phone, at first it had been disheartening but now… he was starting to get worried.
He’d shown up where they agreed to meet that day, he’d been looking forward to their date all week, but Aster never showed. Every text he sent went unread, every call went straight to voicemail, and while it would be easy to assume he was just being ghosted and write it off, he just couldn’t. He’d known Aster for months now, he knew he wouldn’t do something like this intentionally. He felt there had to be some explanation for it, even if it was just that he wasn’t feeling well. He waited around until the evening, just in case, but when it became obvious he wasn’t coming, he got on his bike, deciding to stop by Aster’s place before anything else.
He’d been to Aster’s apartment before, even before they started dating he would go over to study or just hang out. When he got there he went upstairs, knocking on the door. He waited anxiously, for a split second getting his hopes up when he heard it being unlocked, but feeling even more dread when Seth, Aster’s cousin answered the door. He looked surprised to see Jesse, his brow furrowed.
“Jesse? What’re you doin’ here, is everything alright?” He asked.
“Yeah, uh, I just wanted to swing by and see if Aster is okay?” He said. “We had a date planned for today but he never showed.” He said, and now Seth looked even more concerned.
“What do you mean? He didn’t come back last night, we assumed he was staying with you.” He said.
“No… have you heard from him at all?” He asked. “I’ve been texting and calling him, but the texts are still on delivered and all my calls go straight to voicemail.” He said.
“No, I haven’t.” Seth said, taking his own phone out before calling back into the apartment, “Claudia? Could you come out here real quick?” Jesse watched him call Aster, but again, it went straight to voicemail. Claudia, a friend of Aster’s Jesse had met before came out of her room, she smiled when she saw Jesse.
“Oh, hey Jesse!” She said brightly. “What’s up?”
“Aster isn’t with him.” Seth said immediately, and Claudia’s face fell, like she had also noticed his absence. “Have you heard from him?” He asked, and Claudia shook her head.
“No, not since yesterday…” She said, now her worried expression matched theirs. Seth tried calling him again, and still the same result. There was a tension in the air, like they all knew this meant something bad, but no one wanted to be the first to say it.
“Fuck it, I can find his location.” Seth said, focused intently on his phone now. “I would’ve checked sooner but I really thought he was with you.” He told Jesse. He stepped aside, pulling his shoes on and grabbing his keys from where they hung beside the door. “Claudia, stay here in case he comes back, I’m gonna go look for him.” He said, and she nodded.
“I’ll call around and see if anyone else has heard from him, I… I’m sure he’s fine.” She said, trying to sound reassuring, though it didn’t seem to be working on any of them, including herself. Seth was already halfway out the door, and Jesse followed after him.
“Can I go with you?” He asked, trying to ignore the fact his heart was racing. He told himself there was a reasonable explanation for this, he needed to stay calm until they had solid answers.
“Yeah, I- I think he’d be happy to see you- when we find him, I mean.” Seth said. He sounded distracted, like he was already working through countless scenarios in his head. Jesse chose to hang on to that when. It has to be when not if. He followed Seth to his car, getting in the passenger seat, only to have Seth suddenly thrust his phone into his hands. “Do you have any idea where this is?” He asked, Jesse looked at the location on the screen but he had no idea. It did look like he’d been there for a while- since last night even.
“No clue.” He said, and Seth scowled as he started the car.
Aside from Jesse giving directions, the ride was tense and mostly silent, while Jesse had met Seth before, he’d never really been alone with him. He knew he was Aster’s cousin, they’d grown up together, and that he was a few years older than him, but that was about it. He’d certainly never seen him look so anxious and on edge.
“Hey- has Aster been… okay?” He asked after a while. “Like, has he been acting like himself?”
“Yeah, he has…” Jesse said hesitantly. “Why, do you think somethings going on?” He asked, and Seth waved his hand dismissively.
“Ah, it’s just, y’know he’s had some trouble in the past, he’s a good kid, really, but… y’know, bad things happen to good people.” He sighed. Jesse chose not to pry for details, though he had little idea what Seth could be talking about. To him, Aster was like a ray of sunshine, warm and bright, with an infectious laugh and kind heart. He hated to think of anything bad happening to him. “He’s been doing better over the past year, I’m sure… I’m sure this is unrelated. I’m sure he’s fine, probably just, I don’t know, went for a hike, lost his phone, or he crashed at a friend’s place, we’ll have him home soon enough.” He was rambling now, like he was trying to convince himself. Jesse chose not to interrupt him.
Dread settled over them like a heavy weight as they finally arrived at the mark shown on Seth’s phone. It wasn’t a hiking trail he could’ve gotten lost on, nor was it a friends house, it was just… nothing. An empty lot, a bit off the road, surrounded by trees. Seth parked the car and got out, he didn’t even turn it off first, and Jesse got out with him, looking around warily. People definitely came through there, he saw tire tracks and plenty of empty bottles and food wrappers, but it was secluded. He didn’t want to think about what that meant for Aster. Seth was calling his name, like he might be hiding in the trees, while Jesse walked around, searching for something- anything that might give them some idea of what happened. He found it by chance, nearly stepped on it even, and his heart sank immediately.
“Seth, I don’t think he’s here.” He called out to him, crouching down and picking up the phone lying in the gravel. The screen was cracked, more than it had been before anyway, but when he turned it over and saw the green case, the charms hanging off it- one of which had been snapped, missing the colorful beads that once dangled off it, he knew right away. This was Aster’s phone. He wasn’t here. And he had a feeling something horrible had happened
***
Warren brought him dinner again the next night, sitting next to the bed while Aster ate. He was hungrier than he’d like to admit, it made him angry to devour Warren’s cooking like this, but after being too upset to really eat the first day and then spending all day laying in bed, agonizing over his situation and unable to distract himself from every hunger pang, he was reluctantly grateful to have it. He supposed if he had to be kidnapped, at least it was by a guy who opted to feed him, which was such a weird thought to have that it upset him even further.
“Are you feeling alright?” Warren asked him as he ate. “You seem upset.” He said, which made Aster so angry he had half a mind to flip the tray of food onto him. He didn’t answer, taking another bite of food to keep his mouth busy. Warren had prepared a pasta dish for him, he’d had it before- he made it before, sharing the recipe because he enjoyed it so much. Of course Warren took note of that. “I’d like you to tell me if something is bothering you.” Warren said, continuing to press him on it, and Aster took a swig of the bottled ice tea he brought him before sighing heavily.
“This whole thing bothers me.” He said, waving his hand to gesture towards the rest of the basement. “I want to go home, I want you to stop watching me all the time, I hate it down here and I still have so many questions.”
“You’re free to ask them.” Warren told him. “I’ll do my best to answer.”
“How long do you plan to keep me here?” He asked, taking another bite of food while Warren considered his answer.
“Well, I suppose you’ll have to stay down here until I know I can trust you not to try and run off.” He told him.
“Not down here. I mean at all.” Aster said, looking up at him. Warren smiled at him, like he was being naive in asking that.
“Until death do us part.” He told him, and Aster suppressed a shudder. “I see you in my life forever, just like anybody does for their beloved.” Aster resisted the urge to correct him. He knew it was pointless.
“Are you going to kill me?” He asked, and Warren laughed, which only bothered him more.
“Of course not, sweetheart. I put an awful lot of work into getting you here and making this place perfect for you, why would I kill you?” He asked, and Aster shrugged.
“Have you killed anybody before?” He asked, and Warren’s smile faltered.
“Is that really the kind of person you think I am?”
“You can’t answer my question with another question.” Aster said.
“I think it’s my turn to ask something.” Warren said, that warning edge to his tone that made Aster too nervous to look him in the eye. “So tell me- is that really the kind of person you think I am?”
“I don’t know.” Aster sighed. “I didn’t think you were the kind of person who would kidnap somebody and lock them in a basement. I don’t really know what to think of you right now.”
“I’m not going to kill you, Aster.” He said seriously, as if Aster were overreacting for even questioning that. “I love you far too much for that.”
“Would you kill me if you didn’t love me? If you stopped loving me?” He asked, and Warren sighed, Aster could tell this line of questioning was pushing him, but he couldn’t help it.
“I think you have too much time down here to worry. You’re being irrational.” He watched as Warren got up, crossing the room over to his desk. He took something from the drawer and came back, handing a notebook and a pen to Aster. “I’d like you to write down anything you need, anything that would make you happy or keep you entertained when I’m gone.”
“Like… anything?” He asked, looking up at him. “Anything I want?”
“Yes. Whatever you want, I will make it happen.” He said. Aster didn’t hesitate before scrawling across the page in big letters, turning the notebook around to show him.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
“You’re cute.” Warren said, he took the notebook from him and tore the page out before handing it back. “Try again.” Aster scowled, staring at the blank page. He thought about it for a moment, before once again scribbling across the page in big letters, turning it around to show Warren.
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
Warren sighed, he took the notebook from Aster and dropped it on the floor. Aster pushed himself back on the bed when Warren got closer, putting one knee on the bed as he leaned over him, until Aster fell back, staring up at him and trying to hide how scared he felt. There was a dangerous look in his brown eyes, like he was finally getting fed up with him.
“Are you sure that’s really what you want?” Warren asked him, and hesitantly, Aster nodded. He felt like he was about to be hurt for this, but to his surprise, Warren kissed his forehead before getting off him. “Alright, so be it. I’ll leave you alone.” He said, and Aster watched as he picked up the tray and left the room, the door locking behind him.
He sat up, his heart racing. He didn’t think that would work, so far Warren had never once made things that easy but… this time he did. Aster wasn’t actually sure if he should feel relieved or not, and as he sat there, watching the door as if he expected him to come back, he couldn’t help but think about their conversation some more, thinking about the questions that Warren didn’t answer.
When I think about the figure skating AU, I can only think of the training part. You need to stretch a lot, do a lot of exercises on the floor and on the ice that requires good posture. Thinking about Vivruh "helping" Eldwin with the training. Wandering hands, fixing a posture that is already good, holding onto Eldwin's waist or pelvic area to "ensure he does the exercise right", holding him from behind when doing opening stretches (idk the name in English, but the ones where you stretch opening your pelvic area) and Eldwin feeling his bulge, "helping" him with those stretches that someone needs to stand on your legs to keep them down or something and Vivruh crotch being quite literally in Eldwin face, massaging Eldwin's thighs to "relieve tension" and "well, I still think you're tense, so maybe you want me to relieve the tense someplace else, hm?". Also, plain whump with this, making Eldwin overstretched, or do too much repetitive exercises to the point he's shaking. Eldwin doing one of the exercises he needs to bend over or open his legs and "well, you looked so pretty offering yourself to me, how could I not fuck you?"
To honor the vibrator anon; some exercises you need to hold position for minutes, or relax a part of your body, or engage in your core, and a vibrator would fuck this up a lot. "Everyone else is done with their stretching and you're still here because you keep messing up, focus". Eldwin moaning, from pain or forced pleasure, and Vivruh scolding him because "Do you not take your training seriously?" or being delighted "Oh, so that's what it is. You waited everyone to leave so you could be a slut?". The aftermath of an orgasm makes the muscles clench and become stiff, so "Oh no, now we have to stretch all over again..."
Someone said something about a leotard, no? Well, Vivruh making Eldwin wear one, even if only in training, to "make sure he's stretching to his maximum" and to "make it easier to correct the posture". "Clothes always get in the way, right?". Easy to just... pull it to the side, if so needed, if Eldwin isn't wearing a termic sock or something.
Every time Eldwin has a duo choreography, Vivruh making sure to double practice just the two of them, to "make sure you're actually doing it right", as an excuse to touch Eldwin more, to run his hands, to hold onto his intimate area as it is sometimes needed to raise a skater, to whisper in his ear. "Does your partner touch you like this, too? How could they resist not to, having your body pressed against theirs? If not yet, it's just a matter of time." And now Eldwin has a paranoia that all duo partners want to touch him like that of fuck him.
That's my collaboration to this AU, thank you for listening to my yap.
YES YES YES. THIS IS PERFECT.
That's just like Vivruh, to turn everything sexual, make everything uncomfortable. Eldwin's been doing this for years, skaters have to start young; what once was so normal now feels so obscene, every studying eye and helpful guidance, even the genuine well meaning ones that would never have bothered him before now just feels violating. Everyday practice makes him feel like he's doing something disgusting, that he's disgusting, inviting. Trying to find alternative exercises, but of course Vivruh knows what's best, "do you want to win or do you just want my company? I suggest you take this seriously."
Eldwin does want to win. He needs it, more than anything, this will all be worth it if he can win. Vivruh is otherwise a good coach, all of Eldwin's best performances have been under him. And besides, if he tries to leave, Vivruh has blackmail. He's trapped.
Eldwin has to win. He has to prove himself, push himself, each performance has to be better than the last even when there's nowhere else to go, even if it destroys him in the process, this is all he has! Without this, he is nothing. So he has to keep going.
The duos!! Maybe that's what makes Desme start to have suspicions, long before Eldwin's solo performances falter. Media would love that, the singles' rivals performing as a pair.... yes. (The fanfic writers would have a field day)
Desme noticing Eldwin is so tense, and being confused, you have done this before, right? Attributing Eldwin's attitude to his bitchy personality, the reason he has no friends, Desme rolls their eyes and dismisses him, but over time, studying him with Vivruh, they start to have... weird feelings. No proof. And Eldwin won't admit to anything. But they can't help but feel there's something not right. They still don't suspect SA, but when it comes out... they wish they were more surprised.
God this is so good. I need. I need to find some way to incorporate some of this in canon dsbfhbs. No ice skating or coaching, but maybe Eldwin does overexert himself and needs to stretch and Vivruh makes it uncomfortable, offers to help, massages... thank you anon I shall be thinking of this all night
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Content: first half is fluff (italicized) & second half is captivity/nsfwhump. female whumpee, captivity whump, explicit nsfwhump/rape, physical abuse/whipping, misogynistic language, very little to do with actual spiders lol
"Nuh-uh. Trying to make brownies in your microwave was way stupider."
"That was Jay's idea. I don't take credit for that."
"Well, this is tradition. So shush."
Vienna and Zander were trying to quietly make their way through the line of pine trees surrounding Lakewood University's eponymous lake. Zander always argued it was more of a large pond and they just wouldn't admit it because Big Pondwood sounded so dumb.
At any rate, Vienna wasn't wrong about tradition. It was regarded as a rite of passage to sneak in a nighttime swim somewhere along the shoreline, clothing highly optional.
It was, strictly speaking, not allowed. There were designated spots along the body of water to swim in, and each and every one of them certainly required swimsuits to be worn. But it was college, and everyone was always interested in pushing the limits just a tad bit more.
It had really been Zander's idea, really, a concept that had pleasantly surprised Vienna. It stoked that warm little glow in her heart that Zander so often seemed to bring out — she knew there was no world in which he'd do this with someone else, and the idea of being trusted and chosen and special seemed to fill her her chest with warmth.
They were both fairly glow-y when he'd brought it up, to be fair. Both their faces were still a little flushed and Vienna was laying on Zander's bare chest, face tilted up to look at him as they lay in bed. She loved the easy, slightly lopsided smile that came out when they were together. He was talking about something, gesturing a bit with his hand before letting it rest again on her back, but all Vienna was focused on was the warmth between them and the happy thrum still going through her body. She'd never felt closer to anyone.
And then he'd brought it up — you know…..a good way to ring in sophomore year…. — and she'd lit up with excitement like a Christmas tree and he'd done the same and that was that.
And so here they were, looking out at the moonlight shimmering across the lake. Vienna felt a happy fluttering in her chest: she was here with her favorite person, in one of her favorite places, doing something that felt just the right amount of spontaneous and bold and fun. But when she looked back at Zander, she saw a rather familiar look of unease on his face. His blue eyes were scanning the waterline like he expected a campus security officer to rise up out of the weeds right then and there.
"Hey." She gently lay a hand on his wrist, trying to bring him back to earth. "Do you actually not want to? I'd be happy to just go sit on the pier, if you want."
Just the question, all earnestness and care, seemed to smooth the apprehension in Zander's expression. He looked at her, eyes crinkling in a smile.
"Nah. This'll be fun. Worst case scenario, I just drown and come back to haunt you as a ghost. Very manageable."
And is if to prove it, he started to lift his shirt over his head with a mischievous smile. Vienna's heart leapt. Before she lost her nerve, she lifted her sundress over her head and let it crumple on the leaves scattered beneath them. She took a deep breath and ran past the trees, bare feet slapping the wooden planks of the pier before she jumped off the end into the lake.
The cool water hit like an electric shock, invigorating her entire body. Vienna let it envelope her for a minute before she rose back up, smoothing her hair back and looking towards where she'd ran from. Zander was lingering by the trees, folding his clothes up, looking at her with an expression torn between awe and exasperation.
In a stage whisper, he called over, "You didn't even hesitate!"
"You can't! Come on!"
His eyes sparkled and Vienna could tell he'd taken it just as she'd meant it, as a challenge to be conquered. A split second later he was bounding towards her, flinging himself off the edge of the pier with a whoop!
Vienna laughed as he landed with a huge splash, looking around quickly to make sure he hadn't been too loud and alerted anyone. But all was still, as if they were in their own little universe. And Zander — he was being, well, Zander, anxious but pushing through it, taking the moment and making it fun and exciting. There was something about the way he went from hesitant to fully committed in half a second that always made Vienna want to follow him anywhere.
Zander popped up from underwater, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes.
"Christ, that's cold."
"I guess there's a reason people normally just swim when the sun's out."
Zander huffed a laugh, looking around.
"Yeah. It is really beautiful, though."
"Right?"
Vienna reached for him in that way that felt like second nature now, wrapping her arms around his neck while he put a steadying arm across the small of her back. For a moment, they just soaked in the moment.
Then Zander said, "I love that we get to do this together."
Vienna looked at him, eyebrow quirked up. "Skinny dipping? Yeah, you would."
"No!" Zander laughed. "Well — don't get me wrong. Definitely not complaining. But I mean just….life."
He looked at her with those eyes and Vienna smiled so hard her nose scrunched up. "You can't just say something like that and not kiss me."
Zander laughed and she could feel the smile on his lips as he kissed her. She closed her eyes, trying to take in the moment, the cool water swirling around them, Zander's lips on hers, both their hearts beating in double time. He pulled back before she'd had a chance to really feel it all.
Vienna tilted her head and looked at him playfully, eyes sparkling. "Like you mean it."
Zander gave a surprised laugh and rolled his eyes. "You drive me crazy."
But it was all affection, and his smile was even wider than hers as he leaned back in. Zander let her choose when to pull away this time, and she cupped his cheek in one hand.
"I love you."
The words still felt new and exciting on her tongue, warm and grounding, everything she'd ever wanted all at once. It made Zander practically melt.
"I love you t—"
But Zander was cut off by the crunch of tires on gravel, headlights cutting through the trees.
"Oh, shit."
All the buoyancy and ease vanished from Zander's face, replaced by a familiar expression of near-panic.
Vienna's own heart skipped a beat and she couldn't help but whisper, "Do you think it's campus security?!"
"I don't know and I don't want to find out. Come on — we've gotta hide."
He started leading her by hand towards the pier, and it was Vienna's turn to balk.
"But — but there could be spiders under there!"
"Better spiders than suspended," Zander said grimly, and Vienna reluctantly swam behind him into the dark, grimy space beneath the wooden platform. Zander's face was white, and Vienna felt a flash of guilt for leading him into this situation, knowing all too well about his fear of failure and the weight of expectations he carried on his back. Even just getting told off by a police officer would wreck him, leave him beating himself up for weeks. Vienna had spent enough time talking him down from imagined catastrophes to recognize the look immediately.
"We've gotta be quiet," he barely dared to breathe to her, eyes wide.
"I can barely stand here —" she whispered back, feet kicking underwater.
"I've got you." Zander drew her close with an arm around her waist and Vienna wrapped her legs around his. They both held their breath, foreheads practically touching, Zander having to duck his head slightly to avoid bumping it on the wooden planks above.
The car seemed to roll to a stop mere feet from the pier. Zander was mouthing fuck, fuck, fuck, eyes squeezed shut, and Vienna ran her fingers through his hair, trying uselessly to calm him.
Then, the car started up again. Vienna could see the headlights shift across the water as it turned away. Zander's eyes popped open, so cartoonishly large and relieved that Vienna held back a giggle.
"Shut up," he whispered, but was starting to smile too. "They're leaving?"
Vienna nodded, pointing to the reflection of the lights on the water. Just a minute later, it was dark and quiet again.
"That was scary," Vienna whispered. "Close one."
"Well, thank God they're gone," Zander said. "There's been a massive spider behind your head this whole time."
"Shut up!" Vienna squealed, holding onto him for dear life and ducking her head.
Zander stifled a laugh and gently pushed forward until they were both out from under the pier. "Can we call that good enough? Check it off the bucket list?"
Vienna readily agreed and they clambered out of the water, wrapping themselves in the towels they'd brought along with their clothes. They sat in under the shelter of the trees for a while while they dried off, trying to find constellations in the clear night sky.
As Vienna ran her fingers through her hair for the thousandth time, afraid to find a spider or a leech or something equally gross and creepy, Zander told her, "I promise there's nothing in there. I was just messing with you."
"Well, you know. Better spiders than suspended," Vienna teased him, and he laughed.
"I thought that was a pretty good one! It's good life advice."
Vienna laughed with him. "Yeah, that's gonna be my new motto. Very relevant to everyday life."
And after that night it had become an inside joke between them, almost a shorthand for choosing the lesser of two evils. If Vienna had to work with an annoying classmate to get a project done, or Zander had to drag himself out of bed at the crack of dawn to make it to practice, one of them would inevitably pull the phrase out. Well, you know what they say….
It barely made sense. But something about it felt like a precious and private souvenir from that night, a secret language that only the two of them got to speak. A little reminder of the heart-stopping moment that they got through together. And there was a certain kind of magic in that.
Vienna tried to hold onto it now. She tried to hold onto everything from her old life, really, but that night was one she kept coming back to. The impulsive, silly, stupid fun of it, like they were doing something unbelievably daring and illicit. The easy way they'd bared their skin to each other, touching and holding without pain or discomfort or shame. The pure trust and intimacy that felt irreparably tainted from where she was standing now.
And that phrase. Better spiders than suspended. It would come back to her when she least expected.
Sitting and listening quietly to Alec while he spoke, about his day, about his thoughts, about her, even when his voice made her want to tear her own ears off.
Dragging herself upright when Alec demanded, knowing he'd just as quickly force her in a bruising grip.
Letting apologies spill from her lips that Alec in no way deserved, forcing contrition until his fists started to uncurl.
It was the same philosophy that kept Vienna from running or shrieking or fighting every single time the basement door opened. At first, it went against every instinct she had: every nerve in her body positively screamed to run, to fight, to shriek whenever she was in Alec's presence. But she eventually learned a new rhythm. Because what good would it do? It would just make him mad. It would just get her hurt. And it wouldn't stop a single thing.
So when the footsteps sounded overhead that evening, her stomach dropped. When she heard them start to descend the staircase, her heart began to hammer in her chest. And when the lock beeped and the door clicked open, her hands began to tremble. And all she did — all she could do — was sit there and wait for whatever Alec had planned for today.
Vienna had been sitting on the bed trying to do a puzzle book when he'd come in. She'd stopped avoiding that, just another avenue that felt pointless. After the incident where she'd asked to go home, spoke defiantly to him, Alec had had a couple weeks of frenzied visits to the basement. He'd burst into her room all times of the day or night and grab her immediately, forcing her onto the table, shoving her to the floor of the shower, bending her over the sink in the bathroom to look in the mirror while he took what he wanted. The message was clear: nowhere was safe. Not from him. At least the bed was comfortable for those precious moments he wasn't there.
He was in a bad mood. Trial and error had taught her how to read his moods, pick up on the weight of his footsteps or the tension in his jaw or the tone in his voice within seconds of him walking in the door. And what she saw today did not bode well. His face was already in a scowl, muscles tight, hands twitching like he was itching to take his anger out on the only person — the only thing — sitting in front of him.
"The fuck is this?" Alec snapped. Vienna blinked and followed his gaze to the table, and her heart dropped. She'd left a scattering of crumbs there from the sandwich she'd eaten at lunch. You know better than that.
"I-I'm sorry," she began, closing the puzzle book and setting it aside. "I'll clean it up right now, I wasn't thinking —"
"Nevermind." Alec let out a long breath through his nose, as if the crumbs were a personal offense. "Get up. Get undressed."
Every time. Every single time, it felt like a knife to a heart, like she'd stepped off some invisible cliff and was plummeting down, down, down to her doom.
And yet….
Vienna obeyed, sliding off the bed. She pulled at her clothes mechanically, wondering vaguely if today would be a lucky instance in which her mind floated away. He pulled her back in.
"Had the fucking longest day at work today. People are such morons. But then I remembered I have the perfect little stress toy chained up in my basement."
The words made all the blood drain from Vienna's face, and when Alec fully opened the door behind him it only made it worse. The main room. It was going to be one of those days — not quick, not routine, not simple enough that Alec could get what he wanted from her within the bedroom.
She forced one foot in front of the other until she crossed through the doorway. Alec planted a hand between her shoulders and shoved, and Vienna almost stumbled to the floor before righting herself.
"Over here."
A chair he liked to use for certain torments — just a regular, wooden kitchen chair, almost nauseating in its banality — was sitting in the middle of the room. There were pairs of handcuffs attached to each of its front legs, and Vienna's mind immediately began to supply all the potential reasons he might want to restrain her ankles while she sat.
So it was a shock to her system when Alec instead forced her to her knees in front of the chair and reached to restrain her wrists in the cuffs. The familiar panic of being restrained reared up, even stronger now because she had no clue what he was planning.
“Stop — you don’t have to —"
“Shut up,” Alec said firmly, and Vienna stopped at once, pressing her lips together. “I don’t want to hear your voice. The only reason I haven’t gagged you yet is I need that sweet mouth open.”
So that's it. Vienna swallowed, tried to breathe evenly, already preparing for her breathing to be constricted as each wrist was locked in the cuffs, keeping her essentially tied to the legs of the chair. Alec looked at her with an approving smirk for a moment before striding across the room.
Vienna held her breath as he rummaged through the wardrobe. Images flashed in her mind of implements stored in Alec's "torture closet" — sex toys and gags, whips and electrical rods, things she'd grown intimately familiar with over the last several months. Things meant to intensify her suffering.
And, sure enough, he pulled out a riding crop and started back towards her. Vienna could almost feel the sting already. Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn’t help but cry, “Wait — no, please, I’ll —"
“Shut your mouth before I do it for you.”
Vienna cut herself off with a whimper, instantly feeling like a prey animal — eyes wide and frightened, posture hunched and cowering. Alec was pointing the crop at her threateningly.
“I told you — today, you’re my stress toy. That’s all you are. I don’t want another word out of you. Is that understood?”
Vienna nodded silently, her eyes on the riding crop, and Alec relaxed somewhat.
“Good. Good. You're going to help me feel so much better, aren't you?"
Vienna swallowed the bile in her throat and let her gaze flick down in front of her so she was staring at the seat of the chair she was chained to. She had to suppress a shudder as she heard Alec undo his pants and let them drop to the floor.
"Show me how much you can move. Pull."
Without looking up, Vienna tugged her wrists in the cuffs. There was almost no give in them at all — she could move maybe six inches back from the chair at most.
"Aw. Are you going to be able to get away?"
"No." Her answer was almost inaudible, and she heard Alec chuckle under his breath.
“There we go…” Alec slid into the chair, letting his legs come down right around Vienna's restrained arms so her face was more or less in his lap. Her stomach lurched at the sudden closeness, the heat, the way he was already starting to get hard.
Alec stroked the crop suggestively and grinned at the look on her face, somewhere between terror and disgust. “Well — get to work.”
When Vienna hesitated, he slapped the crop onto the palm of his hand with a sharp THWACK noise. The memory the noise invoked made Vienna jump and survival instinct drove her forward more than anything. She gingerly opened her mouth and wrapped it around him, hands curling into fists beneath the chair. Alec hummed contentedly.
“That’s what I thought, slut. Remember how I like it.”
I don't want to! I don't want to! Vienna screamed in her mind as she trailed her tongue down the side of his shaft. She could sense more tension seeping out of his body, and was at once relieved and disgusted at herself for her role in it.
“That’s it…you keep being this good, maybe I won’t even have to whip you…”
He chuckled as Vienna instantly doubled her efforts, starting to move her head up and down, taking more and more of him into her mouth. Anything to avoid the bite of the crop, to finish this as quickly as possible….
“Mhmmm….”
Vienna let herself get into a rhythm, enough that she just might be able to float away. She though of….the moon. Yes, the moon, set among a scattering of brilliant stars, and she and Daniela were dancing among them, glittering and luminescent and —
THWACK.
A sharp sting exploded across her back. Vienna let out a cry of pain and immediately pulled back from Alec's lap, though the cuffs only allowed her a few inches of leeway. Alec laughed at the look of betrayal on her face.
“What can I say? I can’t help myself.”
THWACK. THWACK. The chains rattled as Vienna flinched with each strike. What hurt almost worse than the whip was the small hope she'd had that he wouldn't actually hit her. That maybe she'd please him enough. As if hurting her wasn't his goal all along.
“Keep going, bitch.”
Vienna slowly returned to the forced blowjob, her body tensed as it waited for the next blow. After a moment of feeling the crop lightly trace against her skin, it came — Alec hit her further down her body this time, letting the leather smack against soft skin. Vienna jerked away again and looked up at him with pleading eyes. Against her better judgment, she tried to speak again.
“I-I’m trying to —“
“And you’re making me feel great, little girl. I just want to hit you, too.”
He punctuated his sentence with another couple slaps against her reddening flesh.
“Ow!”
He smiled and continued using the crop all over the back of Vienna's body, hard enough that she could feel angry welts starting to form. Vienna let out continuous cries of pain, and he thrust his hips forward a bit to return her attention to the task at hand.
“Take breaks if you need to, but I’m not going to stop until you make me cum.”
Vienna sucked in a shaky breath and forced herself to lean back in. All of her focus went into blocking out the pain and just making him finish, which seemed to be the only escape from this particular torment. But she could feel Alec's eyes on her — dark, soulless, like a shark — taking in every movement like it was a performance just for him. His hand ran through her hair in an odiously affectionate gesture.
“Fuck, I needed this.”
The noises were the worst. Clear, obscene, impossible to ignore or block out. Every slap of the crop ripped a pained cry from Vienna's throat, which in turn made Alec groan appreciatively as the sound vibrated against his skin. Even her attempts to gasp for breath just prompted the wet, intimate noises of her mouth on his body. Vienna's mind conjured up an image of biting down, of blood spurting, of a different voice screaming in pain this time, but then dismissed it as quickly as it came. It was as good as a death sentence.
Alec used the hand in Vienna’s hair to brush it to the side, seemingly wanting to admire the collage of pain he'd beaten into her skin.
“What a nice view,” he purred, and smiled as she grimaced at his words. For one terrible moment, it was almost as if she was floating above the scene, seeing herself from his perspective: chained at his feet like an animal, lips obediently wrapped around him, silent tears streaking down her face, the back of her body covered in bright red splotches. Then Alec's hand fisted in her hair and he shoved her down further, making her gag.
A thrill of panic shot through Vienna, disgust and claustrophobia and alarm. There was nowhere to go, and the air between his sweaty thighs felt thick and heavy. She could vaguely hear him gritting out words above her.
Mmm, yes….just like that….such a good little cocksucker….it's gonna be coming out your fucking eyes…..fuck….fuck….
Don't throw up don't throw up don't throw up — Vienna had to instruct herself silently, nauseating warmth flooding her mouth as a flurry of slaps rained down on her back. Her hands spasmed in the cuffs as Alec kept his grip tight on her hair, not letting her pull back no matter how much she choked and teared up. When he finally did release her, he slumped back in the chair, looking dazed and happy.
Over. Over. Finally. Vienna sat back the few inches that the cuffs would allow her, gasping for air, and the tears hit as soon as her lungs filled back up. She tucked her head to her shoulder — the only snatch of privacy she had right now — and choked out soft sobs. Her body trembled but felt strangely numb at the same time, as if it wasn't hers at all. As it it weren't even a body, just some inanimate thing.
He was calm now, at least. She'd served her purpose. The bizarre calm that sometimes followed assaults stretched for a couple minutes until Alec spoke.
“Hey, little girl, look at me for a second.”
Vienna's head rose almost of its own volition, every muscle in her body trained to obey first and ask questions later. The sight was as if he'd hit her again, and Vienna flinched violently backwards: he was holding his phone to her face.
"W-what are you doing?!"
"What does it look like?" Alec replied calmly. "Stay still."
He'd taken her picture before. Or recorded…..things. She'd seen the phone propped up at deliberate angles, watched Alec scroll through his library with a smirk on his face before. She assumed they were just trophies for him. If he posted them, anywhere at all….well, half of her almost hoped he did, leave evidence somewhere someone might find it. The other half of her wanted to fade into nothing at the very idea of it. She'd have to ask him one day after he'd been drinking.
“This really is a fun position. We’ll definitely be doing this again.” Alec leaned down to undo Vienna’s restraints, continuing, “But now we need to go shower.”
The implication hit like a lightning bolt down her back. “B-but — that will really hurt with my back,” Vienna whimpered. “I showered this morning, please, can I…?”
“You did this morning? You sure?”
Vienna nodded fervently. Her eyes widened imploringly, born of pure desperation and the sickening knowledge of how much Alec loved that expression on her. Sure enough, his lips twitched.
"Alright, alright. But you're cleaning yourself up at some point between tonight and when I come back to fuck you in the morning."
“O-okay.”
“I’m doing you a favor, what do you say?”
“Thank you,” Vienna said tonelessly, and Alec smirked.
"Good girl. Up."
She didn't need to be told twice — Vienna scrambled to her feet immediately, already turning around towards the bedroom. She often imagined in some distant corner of her mind that there was another Vienna, perhaps in some alternate universe, who would take off running in these moments. Who would shove Alec to the floor, take the stairs two at a time, and burst out screaming back into the world. But this world's Vienna traipsed her way back into the small room that had become her entire universe, body throbbing with each step.
When the door blessedly closed between her and Alec, Vienna braced a hand on the dresser, letting out a long breath through her mouth. It had worked. Truthfully, was less concerned about the water hitting the wounds on her back than the fact that Alec had said "we need to shower." She knew what that would inevitably lead to.
So she'd invented another excuse. And….it had worked. He'd believed her. Or at least seemed to. Vienna had a feeling he enjoyed her begging enough that he sometimes gave into it as an indulgence, encouraging her to keep it up in the long run.
But. Still. She'd been able to exhibit the smallest bit of agency, make the nightmare just a little less horrific today. And in this place, that felt like a win.
What it was was a scrap. The tiniest, faintest light in the dark that she clung to as if it were the sun itself. But if she didn't — if she didn't try to fan that little spark into something bigger — Vienna was sure that the shadow of humiliation and despair and dehumanization would swallow her whole.
She floated to the bathroom, wanting to at least brush her teeth. With her gaze trained to the floor, hoping to avoid her reflection in the mirror, she spotted the tiniest movement in the space between the sink and the toilet.
A spider. Small, brown, skittering into the corner with its many legs.
Usually she would grab a piece of tissue and snatch it up, flush it down the toilet. But today she just stared at it. It had gone still now, trying to be smaller, trying not to be noticed. Vienna felt a strange tightening sensation in her chest, like her heart was being physically squeezed. She couldn't stand to add one more moment of fear or pain to this place, no matter how tiny.
"You're okay," she whispered without entirely meaning to.
It reminded her, ridiculously, of Zander. Of their saying, that night at the lake. Better spiders….
And it made her stomach lurch. How could she be thinking of him in this moment? Right after she'd….participated. Moved. Complied. Performed. How could those two memories even exist in the same body?
Better spiders than suspended.
She'd had chosen — if choice was even a word she had access to anymore — the least harmful option. What got her through the day in one piece. What helped her survive in a moment where every option was terrible.
Vienna drew in a shaky breath. She left the spider where it was and turned on the tap. She let the cool water run over her hands, trying to hold onto every memory of moonlit water and hidden giggles and comfortable closeness. And hoped that every choice she had to make….no matter how demeaning, no matter how unbearable…. would somehow lead her back there.
An interesting non-con trope is having it in the pov of the abuser, seeing how they feel about the experience. I always find it interesting why, in their mind, it is "justified"
Theres just so many possibilities to explore
- do they justify it?
- do they see anything wrong with it?
- are they doing it out of desire or the urge to hurt?
- how do they view whumpee? do they ignore their pleas to stop or do they take it as desire?
(of course I do not condone rape, but i do find the possibilities from the pov of the abuser interesting, especially in writing)
Whumpee truly thought they were over their trauma. They've done so much healing, so much recovering with Caretaker over the years to finally stop the pain from consuming their life. But then one day, it hits them all over again. They don't even know why, it just does. And now all the work they've done feels fucking pointless because they're back to crying and shaking and breaking down in front of Caretaker who they think must be so disappointed in them
the air is thick and hot under the blanket but whumpee can’t bring themself to come out from under it. they lay beneath the heavy covers and try desperately to stop crying - without much success at all. they just keep shaking and choking on their own sobs. fear and shame and self hatred lap at their mind and their body in waves.
the only thing that’s giving them any sort of comfort, any stability at all, is the familiar weight of caretaker’s arm wrapped around them, caretaker laying close behind them. even that, though, is a source of shame. how comforting, how safe it feels just makes whumpee hate themself more. why do they still need this? why is this still happening?
it was years ago. not days, not weeks, not even months. it’s been years since it happened. and whumpee was supposed to be better now. caretaker has laid with them and held them, taken care of them, looked after them. it’s been difficult and they know caretaker has struggled sometimes, too, carrying whumpee’s pain along with their own. and it was supposed to have been worth it. but it wasn’t. whumpee is still here, collapsed out of nowhere into frightened, trembling cries. laying under a blanket and needing to be held, when there’s so much that caretaker could be doing.
i’m sorry. whumpee thinks it over and over - if they had any nerve, any dignity, any integrity, then they would say it out loud. they would beg for caretaker’s forgiveness, get their shit together and shrug that arm away, they would get over it. they don’t. they huddle back closer against caretaker, sob harder in relief at the tightening of caretaker’s gentle hold. i’m sorry, i’m sorry.
I do wanna write Paeral and Eldwin meeting because their attitude really pisses Eldwin off. How are you so chill with this?? How are you just accepting this??
I've said before on main I think but the contrast of Eldwin somehow both being taught not to react because he's supposed to be an emotionless weapon, a tool, and being unofficially taught to react because he's supposed to be fun. Even Clyde won't be satisfied if he gets nothing.
I do understand why noncon is often portrayed as like, this special category of bad thing that can happen to a character, the worst of the worst, but I think it’s also quite interesting to consider a character for whom being raped is just a thing that happens alongside a bunch of other awful shit, maybe even something that is easier to bear than some of the other things they are subjected to, something that doesn’t really hold any significance in comparison because it’s just sex at the end of the day, and sex is something they at least know how to handle
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I’ll come back and add a title to this one later lmao, anyway! Here’s the follow up for that first Aster and Warren piece :3c it came out to around 4,000 words, admittedly, there’s a lot of dialogue lmao
CW: NSFW, noncon, can’t believe I gotta tag this but brief necrophilia mention, captivity whump, creepy/intimate whumper
***
The dragonfly lights had been a gift for Aster’s nineteenth birthday. He’d had a small party at his cousin’s apartment, they’d been in a gift bag from one of his friends. He put them up over his bed the next day, he liked the way they dangled and their warm yellow glow, the way they swayed in the breeze when he left his window open. Most of the time he didn’t even use the overhead light in his room, he preferred those dragonflies, and the lamp on his bedside table. It was warm, comforting, it made his room feel safe.
He wished so badly he was in his bedroom right now.
Instead, he was in this twisted imitation of it. The lights were the same, but it wasn’t his room, and he wasn’t at home, and he couldn’t escape the nightmare he’d woken up in. Warren’s mouth was on his neck, what started as just kisses quickly turned into him leaving marks as he rutted into him, the rhythmic sound of the bed frame hitting the stone wall ever present in the back of Aster’s mind. He’d lavish praise on him in between kisses, but Aster didn’t care, he tried to pretend he couldn’t hear him.
“Fuck, you’re so good for me baby.”
“You’re gorgeous like this, you know that?”
“I love you.”
This wasn’t love. Aster knew that perfectly well. He didn’t think Warren did, though. Maybe Warren loved his body, or the idea of him he’d crafted over these past two semesters, but not him. He hardly even knew him. He wondered if Warren knew his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite drink, if he even cared. He wondered how long he planned to keep him here, how long would his fantasy last until he got bored? What would he do with him then?
Warren had pulled back, still inside him of course, but he was looking down at him. Aster couldn’t meet his eye, the way he looked at him made him feel like a deer caught in the headlights, he found himself worried that Warren would kill him right now, strangle him, or maybe slit his throat, and then keep fucking his body like he was nothing but a toy to him. He certainly felt like that was all that he was.
“Open your mouth, baby.” He told him. Aster was confused, he was barely in his own head at the moment, but his lips were parted just enough for Warren to thrust two fingers into his mouth, startling Aster back into his body as his eyes widened and he gasped. He was frozen, he wanted to bite down, to retaliate in any little way he could, but he was too scared to risk doing so. Warren was pressing down on his tongue, feeling along the inside of his mouth, only to pull his fingers back, slick with Aster’s saliva. Aster’s body jolted as he started rubbing at his cock again with the same hand, more persistent this time.
“Nhh, Warren…” He whined, writhing uncomfortably beneath him. He knew what he was doing, and he did not want that to happen. “Please, no…”
“Oh, sweetheart,” He roughly thrust into him again, Aster squeezed his eyes shut, “I’m not going to just leave you like this, that would be cruel.”
“Don’t- don’t wanna…” He moaned, ashamed of himself for even making the sound. “Stop…” He whined weakly, but he knew there was no stopping this, just like everything else so far, Warren was going to force it.
“Come on baby, I want you to cum for me.” He urged him, Aster crying out as he brought him closer to the edge. His body was tense, he knew he couldn’t fight it, and he hated every second of it.
He hated the way his back arched off the bed. He hated the fact he clenched around Warren’s cock, the way that Warren groaned, the hushed good boy he muttered under his breath. He hated the sound he made, obscene, pathetic, as he finally came, his body trembling as Warren fucked him through his orgasm. It was no relief to him, in fact it felt horrible, he felt disgusting, and even though Warren had already forced this out of him, it wasn’t enough.
“War- Warren- Warren please- please stop!” He gasped, quickly overwhelmed by the continued stimulation.
“Not yet, I know you can take it.” Warren told him, and Aster sobbed, pulling against the handcuffs once again.
“Please, please, Warren don’t- not- not inside, please.” He begged, but he could see Warren’s face, there was nothing he wanted more than to do exactly that. He’d stopped stroking his dick, using both hands to hold his hips now, his grip so tight it hurt. “Please stop, please stop, god, Warren, please!” He cried, but it didn’t matter, in fact his begging might’ve only encouraged the man.
Warren only stilled after he’d reached his own climax, Aster wanted that to be the end of it, he wanted this to finally be over, but Warren didn’t pull out. He cut off Aster’s sobs with another aggressive kiss, Aster tried to turn his head away but he just grabbed him by the chin to hold him in place.
“You’re so, so perfect.” He said when he briefly pulled back, trailing kisses down his chin, down his neck. “You’re everything I ever wanted baby, fuck, I knew the wait would be worth it.”
“No-no more… please…” Aster’s voice was barely a whisper, but Warren continued, he nipped at his throat, left kisses and marks along his collarbones, as if he were worshipping his body while Aster just wished that he could disappear.
“You’re mine now, you know that?” He said, his breath hot against Aster’s throat.
“I’m not…” He said, but he was ignored, Warren holding him close, pressing kisses to his body like he was a prized possession.
“All mine.”
***
Aster didn’t sleep that night. Warren cleaned him up, redressed him, and then left him alone, still chained to the bed. More than anything, Aster wanted to shower, he felt filthy, he felt like he was dirty in a way he could never quite wash away. It wasn’t a new feeling, but it had been a long time since it had been this intense. He was so tired he couldn’t even cry anymore, his eyes burned, his head hurt, he felt sore all over, and all he could do was lay there and stare at the ceiling, at those lights, waiting for whatever would happen next.
He didn’t like the waiting. It felt like he was in trouble, and just waiting for his punishment to come, but not knowing when or what it would be. He dreaded Warren coming back into the room, he felt safer now that he was alone, but as long as he was chained like this, he had no hope of finding a way out. He wondered if he could convince Warren to at least let him roam around the basement itself, maybe then he could work out an escape plan, but as of right now, he was completely helpless. He couldn’t stand it.
He didn’t know how long had passed before he heard that door open again. It must’ve been hours, he had no idea what time it was though. He wished Warren had thought to put a clock down there. His heart started racing as soon as he heard the footsteps on the floor above him, and when the door opened he caught himself holding his breath, as if he thought Warren might not think he’s there if he just laid still enough, quiet enough. The man crossed the room and set something down on the nightstand, Aster turned his head to see a tray of food. Warren leaned over him, finally unlocking the handcuffs, and Aster stared up at him tiredly. Warren looked happy, well rested, he smiled at him.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Aster didn’t respond, he didn’t know how to. Warren was acting as if the night before simply hadnt happened, as if this was completely fine. It made his head spin. Warren helped him sit up, and Aster rubbed at his wrists, the handcuffs had left bruises and deep indents in his skin from how much he’d struggled. “Did you sleep well?”
“I… didn’t sleep…” He said awkwardly. He wanted to yell at him, to scream at him to go away, to call him a disgusting monster for what he did. But he said none of that. He watched Warren tiredly, the man gave him a sympathetic look.
“I’m sorry love, I’m sure it will take some time to adjust.” Aster didn’t want to adjust, not to this. “Here, you should eat something.” He said, handing him the tray. Aster wasn’t hungry, even though the food in front of him looked good, pancakes with blueberry syrup, scrambled eggs, a small bowl of blueberries and a cup of orange juice. His food was already cut up, and he was only given a small plastic fork to eat with. He kept eying the small white pill that was also on the tray. “I know you don’t eat meat, so no bacon or anything like that- and blueberries, they are your favorite, aren’t they?” He asked, pulling a chair up beside the bed.
“Hm.” Aster neither wanted to confirm nor deny, he had a feeling Warren already knew the answer. Instead he picked up the pill, holding it between his fingers. He easily assumed what it was based on the events of last night. “Why didn’t you use a condom?” He asked, taking the pill and washing it down with the orange juice. Warren didn’t respond at first, and he finally met his eye. “I had already opened the drawer before you came down. You had them. Why didn’t you use one?” Warren sighed, leaning forward so he was closer to him.
“Aster, darling, I waited a very long time to have you.” He said, the condescending tone he used with him just irritated Aster more. “Our first time was something special, you’ll have to forgive me for not wanting anything between us.” He smiled at him, while Aster felt his skin crawl, once again he wanted to yell at him, to call him disgusting, but he didn’t.
“Do you make breakfast for everyone you rape?” He asked him instead, angrily stabbing his fork into his pancakes.
“I’ve cooked for lovers in the past, yes.” Warren said calmly. Aster thought that might’ve gotten some kind of reaction out of him, but it didn’t, he was still completely unfazed.
“Do you chain all your lovers up in your basement?” He asked, taking a bite. It tasted so good it infuriated him.
“No, this place was made especially for you.” He told him.
“Why am I so special?” He asked.
“You have a lot of questions, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!” He cried. “I don’t- I don’t understand- why me?!”
“You’ve heard of love at first sight, haven’t you?” Warren said. “I knew the moment I saw you, you were meant to be mine.”
“That’s not love, Warren.” He snapped at him. “You don’t even fucking know me, I’m just a guy who took your fucking class, how could you love me when you don’t even know anything about me?!”
“I know plenty about you.”
“Like what?! Stalking my fucking social media doesn’t mean you know me!”
“I know that your full name is Aster Mars Brennan. Your birthday is April eighteenth- less than a month ago you turned twenty.” He said. Aster felt too sick to take another bite of food.
“I’m pretty sure you could get any of that information from my records at school. Any of my professors would know that.” He said bluntly, trying to brush off how unnerved he was.
“I know you went back to visit your mom for Christmas,” He continued, “You look just like her, you know.” He said, he smiled at him, like it was meant to be a compliment, but Aster was overwhelmed with dread. “You have two younger siblings. Cute kids, they’re around my nephews and niece’s ages it looks like.”
It was an innocuous comment, but the look he gave him made it feel like a threat, Aster’s heart skipping a beat. He remembered the pictures he’d taken with his siblings, he remembered posting them, thinking no one but his friends would see them. It’s not like he was internet famous or had thousands or even hundreds of followers, he was almost exclusively followed by people he knew personally. He wondered how long he’d been looking at his accounts, how much he had seen, he’d had some of those since middle school. The idea of Warren having seen pictures of him that far back was deeply unsettling.
“You’re pursuing a degree in environmental science, you love the outdoors, and flowers- that’s why you named yourself after one, isn’t it?” He asked. “I think it’s a lovely name. It suits you.”
“Stop it.” He said quietly.
“You like to journal, and I’ve seen your needlework. It’s very impressive, you’re very talented. You have a lot of friends, and you recently started seeing that boy with the dark curls, what was his name again?”
“Jesse.” He said, his heart sinking. He’d met him in Warren’s class, Warren knew damn well what his name was. Still, he scowled when Aster said it.
“Hm, yes. Him.” He said, disdain evident in his voice. Aster hadn’t even been seeing him for that long, and now that he was brought up, he remembered something that made tears well up in his eyes.
“We had a date planned today…” He said quietly, looking down at the tray of food. They were supposed to get lunch, and then go spend some time down by the river together. He’d been looking forward to it all week, and in the chaos of the night before, it had completely slipped his mind.
“I think he’ll get over it.” Warren said dismissively, and Aster sniffled, trying to hold back his tears. Thinking about Jesse, not knowing where he had gone, why he wasn’t responding to his texts or calls, thinking he had just stood him up, he felt horrible.
“What if he thinks I did it on purpose? What- what if he thinks I hate him or something?”
“Then it will be easier for him to accept that you’re gone.” Warren said. This was not at all comforting to Aster. “He’s young. He’ll find somebody new.” He said bluntly, and Aster reached up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
“But- but I’m not gone. I’m right here, and- people will be looking for me!” He insisted. “They probably already are!”
“Yes, I’m sure they will.” Warren shrugged. “They’ll search, they’ll question people, but they won’t find you. Eventually they will give up, things will quiet down, your name will disappear from the news, people will largely forget you, and those who don’t will grieve you and move on.”
“No they won’t.” He insisted, but Warren wasn’t convinced.
“We’ll see. Come on now, eat your food.”
“I’m not hungry.” He said, his voice cracking as he struggled to hold back tears, and Warren sighed, taking the tray from him and setting it aside.
“That’s fine. I can’t stay down here with you all day, as much as I’d love to, is there anything you need before I have to go?” He asked him.
“A shower.” He wanted it more than anything else right then, to finally take a long, hot shower after everything he’d gone through.
“Ah- yes, of course.” Warren unclipped a key ring from his belt loop, using one of the smaller keys to unlock the chain from the cuff around his ankle. The cuff stayed on, which bothered him greatly. It was loose, he could definitely wash the skin under it, but not loose enough to slip off. He wondered if soap and warm water might make it possible, but if Warren was still down there, he didn’t see that ending well for him.
Warren helped him off the bed, Aster’s legs trembling as he stood. He thought about pushing away from him, making a run for the door, doing anything to find a way out of there, but he was too weak. His body ached, he had to lean on Warren for support just to cross the few feet into the bathroom. It was frustrating, demoralizing, but he tried to tell himself it was okay. He’d get another chance. He had to.
“Will you be alright on your own?” Warren asked him, and Aster nodded, he wanted nothing more than to be alone right now. Warren left him alone, shutting the door behind him. Aster noticed immediately that this door had no lock.
This was the first time he got to see inside the bathroom, and once again he was struck with horror as he looked around. The shower curtain was the same as the one in his bathroom at home, deep green with a flower pattern on it, the same one that would’ve been in the background of so many mirror pictures he’d taken. He’d even gotten the same dragonfly shaped hooks to hold it up. On the counter was the same skincare products he used, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a hairbrush. When he stepped over to the shower, onto the same leaf shaped bathmat he’d purchased only months ago, and opened the shower curtain, he saw the same products he used already available to him. He once again found himself hoping this was a bad dream he could wake up from.
He turned the hot water on and started undressing, for the first time he saw the bruises on his body, on his legs, on his hips, certainly more. He tried to ignore it, he told himself he just needed to get cleaned up, it would be a quick shower, and then he could get dressed again. At least, he certainly hoped Warren would give him something to wear. He discarded his clothes and got into the shower, sighing heavily as the warm water poured over him. It was the most relief he’d felt so far, and for a moment he just stood there, taking in the feeling.
And then he started crying.
The weight of the night before finally hit him, before he knew it tears were pouring down his face, he had to brace himself against the wall of the shower as he sobbed. He pressed a hand over his mouth, doing his best to suppress the noise. He worried that if Warren heard, he might come in, and then his one moment of peace would be taken away. He didn’t want to go back out there. He didn’t want to see him again. He didn’t want to accept that this was happening to him. He told himself it wouldn’t be forever, he knew people would be looking for him, he was certain they’d be able to trace his disappearance back to Warren, but that would take time. He wasn’t sure how much time he even had.
Aster avoided looking at his body as much as he could while he washed up, still hiccuping and crying the whole time. The fresh bruises were dark and sensitive, he couldn’t stand to look at them, even passing over them caused him to flinch. He kept reminding himself that at least he was clean, at least he no longer smelled like him, replaced with the comforting and familiar scent of his usual body wash. He hated that Warren knew these things about him, but he was also thankful to have something so familiar. He tried to stay in there for as long as he could get away with, even after he’d finally cried all he could, but when he heard Warren start knocking on the door, he knew he’d better get out on his own terms rather than have the man come in after him.
He shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, taking a clean towel from the rack above the toilet and drying off. He briefly caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, of the bruises dotting his skin, all over his neck and chest, and he shuddered, looking away quickly. He wrapped the towel around himself and finally stepped out of the bathroom, shivering as he was harshly reminded of just how cold it was down there.
“There you are. I was getting worried about you dear.” Warren said, he was waiting just outside the door, quick to take Aster by the arm. Aster assumed it was just in case he wanted to try and run. Just seeing him had Aster wanting to cry all over again, but he blinked back his tears, clenched his jaw, he tried not to look as scared as he really felt. “Here, I’ve already got your clothes ready for you.” He guided him back over to the bed, he’d laid out a loose fitting t-shirt and green pajama pants for him. He scrunched his nose up, seeing that Warren had also been so kind as to get him underwear- specifically black panties, with a little bow on the front, as if it would’ve killed him not to make the ordeal more humiliating.
“I wear boxers.” He said bluntly, as Warren let go of him so he could get dressed.
“I think you’ll wear whatever I give you. Or would you rather wear nothing at all?” He asked him, Aster wasn’t looking at him and still he could feel the smug look on his face. He chose not to respond, getting dressed since the alternative really was much worse. As irritated as he was, it was still more comfortable than being naked, or being left in the clothes he’d been kidnapped in. He considered trying to make a run for it again, but Warren was right up behind him, he had a feeling any sudden move would just get him caught, and after last night, he was terrified of what Warren might do if he was angry with him. He resigned himself to sitting down on the edge of the bed, and Warren knelt down, taking his foot in his hand, preparing to lock the cuff back to the chain.
“W-wait.” Aster stammered, he tried to pull his foot away but Warren held him tightly. “You don’t need to do that, I- I can’t get out of here anyway, right? The door is locked? S-so you- you don’t need to chain me to the bed.” He insisted, and Warren smiled at him.
“Oh, sweetheart. I know this must be uncomfortable for you, scary even, but for now it’s necessary.” He said, Aster’s heart sank as he locked the chain to the cuff, his leg twisted awkwardly as there wasn’t even enough slack for him to sit comfortably. “Once you… get used to things, I’m sure I won’t have to do this, but until then I can’t have you roaming free. I don’t want you to hurt yourself doing anything stupid, you understand, don’t you?”
“No.” Aster said, his voice cracking. “I-I don’t understand, I don’t understand why you’re fucking doing this to me.” He said, and Warren sighed, he got up and sat beside him on the bed, pulling Aster into his arms. He gently stroked his hair, like he was genuinely trying to console him, and Aster fell apart completely, sobbing as the man who kidnapped him, who raped him, now held him as if he were going to make it all better.
“I know Aster, I know.” He said sympathetically. “I know it’s hard now, but you’ll see. I’m doing this because I love you.” He said, and Aster shook his head, but he didn’t protest beyond that.
This wasn’t love. He didn’t know what this was, but he knew it wasn’t love. He just didn’t know how- or even if he could convince Warren of that.
"It's incredible how much your body can take. That's the beauty of all this, really. Every time you think it's too much, you prove yourself wrong. You're more resilient than you give yourself credit for."
See I think. I can get comfortable with it with the idea that this is just getting some whump out there lol, and I can come back and rewrite and polish later. But if I'm always waiting for perfection on every little drabble and one shot, I'll never get anything done
Vivruh makes Eldwin take a powerful aphrodisiac, then helps him with it. After leaving him tied up alone for awhile.
cw: Noncon/nsfwhump, dissociation. Lmk if I need to tag anything else!
It wasn't uncommon for Vivruh to leave Eldwin… tied up and in position. Often there were toys to keep him stretched open and ready for his return. Other times he was just left there waiting, staring at the dull ceiling counting every agonising second until he returned.
This time was different. And it was the worst of all.
The rope burned into his ankles and wrists, scraping off skin as he writhed against it, desperately trying to ease this twisted feeling of need. The fire between his legs, a warmth flooding his body like a raging river through the streets with all its destruction. No matter how he twisted and strained he couldn't stop it. He was left begging, pleading, desperate for him to come home and put an end to it, he couldn't take it, he didn't want this.
And that was the plan.
"Look what a mess you are," Vivruh tutted, placing his fingers between Eldwin's legs. Eldwin bucked into his touch, a ravaging hunger, a yearning, but all he did was hold up his glistening fingers with a smirk. "How can you say you didn't miss me?"
"Please," Eldwin whined, and it seemed to echo in every reflection around him, mirrors shining above, around, a never-ending prison."It's been hours-"
"Mmm." Vivruh slowly sucked the gathered slick off his fingers, his eyes boring into Eldwin's as he did. "Poor thing. You must be so desperate."
The tone of his voice made Eldwin pause. He stared back at Vivruh in horror, as if the weight of his situation was crashing down all over again. He tore his gaze away, back up to ceiling - the mirror, forcing him to make eye contact with himself, his flushed face, panting lips. He clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes, trying in vain to squeeze his thighs together. It had to stop. He needed it to stop. He didn't want this, he didn't want this, he's not supposed to feel like this-
"Really?" That voice again, winding around his neck like a serpent, his lungs burned, he couldn't breathe. "I think you want it." Those fingers prodded between his legs again, then were pressed to his own lips that instinctively parted. "Taste it. That's all you."
"Please," he whimpered, and the pathetic sound made him want to set his throat on fire, damage it enough that he can never make another sound. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
Eldwin grit his teeth, jaw painfully clenched. "I need it to stop."
"It won't stop until you're satisfied." Vivruh tilted his head to one side. "What do you really need?"
I can't. Eldwin trembled, staring up at his own dead eyes, only his eyes, he couldn't look at anything else.
"Oh, well." The mattress shifted as Vivruh drew back. "If you want to keep going and return to Clyde like this, th-"
"Wait!" Eldwin begged before he could stop it. Vivruh paused and turned back.
A broken sob escaped him, heat radiating from his cheeks. "…I need you to stop it."
"Hmm. I'm not sure you do," Vivruh said mildly, making his way to the door.
"Please! I need-" Suck it up. Do what you have to do. You're only delaying the inevitable. "I need you."
Revulsion gnawed at him from within, but Vivruh smiled, satisfied. "Good boy. That wasn't so hard was it?"
Eldwin clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palm and biting the inside of his lip hard in an attempt to let the pain distract him, from the shame that threatened to drown him, the feeling of Vivruh's tongue between his legs, the crude sounds and whispers he'd make, the way his body leaned into it. The body, it wasn't Eldwin's anymore, he wouldn't act like that, wouldn't feel that. What he wanted didn't matter, he had no control of it. It was Vivruh's, now. Eldwin was just trapped inside.
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