Teach or die

I recently finished up a Good Omens monster banger bang collab with the lovely @snowfilly1, who wrote the wonderful fic The Water Horse that I got to illustrate 💛

It's been so long since I posted a fic y'all probably thought I forgot how to. And maybe there's a part of me that did. But here's one that I have just posted!!! Read it on Ao3!!!

The Color War

“I still don’t understand why you’ve insisted we both wear white for this,” Aziraphale said. He looked in the mirror and scowled. It reminded him a lot of Heaven, and that was something he would be more than happy to put behind him.

Sorry, Right Number (2K; Rated T) by @waitingtobebroken

Human AU. Apparently @waitingtobebroken recs are just going to be a weekly thing with me now. Aziraphale calls a phone sex line in this dialogue-only short. For business reasons, of course.

***

And I Did (85K; Rated E) by @di-42

This post-S2 just finished, and it's a wonderful story of the Supreme Archangel working with Grand Duke of Hell, Crowley, to stop the Second Coming. Has some great original angels and demons, and a *very* satisfying ending.

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Reading Circle Summons (34K; Rated T) by @joyandotherstories

A companion fic to Slumber Party Summons (29K; Rated G), where instead of Crowley getting summoned, a group of older women accidentally summons Aziraphale. He and Crowley become friends with the ladies and join in their reading circle activities. The story includes excerpts from their monthly book choices, some of which are deliberately and hilariously bad.

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Abyssal (40K; Rated E) by @snae-b

Aziraphale does not need to learn and see how awful Heaven is

Gif by @crowlixcx

Does not need to suffer to 'deserve' Crowley

He suffered and cried enough (and so did Crowley)

He does not need to explain to Crowley why he spent millennia 'pretending' they are not friends

Crowley knows why.

Gif by @capinejghafa

Aziraphale does not need to apologise for how he'd turned Crowley away again and again

Crowley knows they can't really run away. Not for long. Not when the whole Universe is set to be destroyed when the Earth is done with. Not when they are always watched.

Aziraphale does not need to Fall to understand Crowley or be worthy to be with him or to understand anything better

Crowley loves him as the angel he is. And Aziraphale loves Crowley exactly as he is. A demon. A demon with a soft heart.

Crowley doesn't want Aziraphale to change. And Aziraphale doesn't want Crowley to change either.

BONUS

Crowley is IMO not self-destructing because Aziraphale left. I think he understands why he did. And I think he will help him willingly. Because Crowley loves Earth too.

It's not like S1 when the world was about to end and Aziraphale was gone.

ooooo the BIG QUESTION.

so we can see a bit of the second floor in all these pics:

basically all we know for sure is there are A LOT MORE BOOKS, both stacked around the railing and on the circle of shelves. neil has decided not to comment on what else might be there (YET 👀) but he’s confirmed that much.

apart from that, we can see from the outside that there are six windows on the second floor:

i’m going to assume they’re part of the shop because they’re Very On Fire when the rest of the shop is on fire. SO. taking all that into account, you end up with something like this:

where the thin grey circle is the railing and the brown one is the bookshelves (as you can see in the first pic, it doesn’t circle all the way around!)

the rest is a complete mystery. i mean i’m sure the actual set was empty because they didn’t need to fill it, but in theory there’s room for some interesting stuff! with the first floor for scale i can imagine a whole flat built around that circle of shelves — a bed aziraphale never sleeps in, comfy chairs, every other angel knick-knack he’s encountered in his life. in my personal headcanon it’s all books and hoarded items covered in dust, which he leaves for authenticity.

Chapters 10/10!

Good Omens fanfiction. 24k words. Rated M. Read it on A03.

Written for the 2024 Good Omens Theatre Reverse Bang, with concept & stunning art by the incomparable @illustrious-slimeman!

SUMMARY: There was a point in Crowley’s life when he wouldn’t have been caught dead aboard the Metro-North Railroad commuter train bound for the hell that was Connecticut. And yet, here he was. Far enough from New York City so his reputation doesn't precede him and at his latest gig as a lighting tech, he meets stuffy, rules-following, interim-director Aziraphale. But is there room enough in Greenwich for two drama queens?

CW: Mind the CWs at the start of each chapter!! Nothing too graphic. M-rated smut for dessert!

Thank you to my betas @hakunahistata, @gaiaseyes451, @angie-words, @ines2925, @playdohangel & @secretlywingedphantom and to the @goodomensafterdark and @whickberstreetwriters communities for all their support!!

Excerpt:

It tipped over into something beyond return, tumbling down the cliff’s edge, and Crowley wanted. Specifically, he wanted more. And he was going to start with that fucking bowtie. Right under Aziraphale’s chin, he gave the fabric a solid pull and felt it unravel beneath his fingers before moving swiftly on to that stiffly ironed — and was that starched? Oh my god — collared shirt, catching the barest hint of chest hair underneath his fingertips before– “You’ll ask for what you want.” Crowley’s hands flew back as if they’d touched a live wire before he could even form protests on his lips.  “You will ask,” Aziraphale repeated. Stern and steady.

Read the rest on A03!

Just ignore the kegs in the kitchen, they’re getting a cellar built soon.

The book nook at night because I love how cosy it’s come out.

Country love is kissing in the kitchen~~ country love is honest and it’s true~~

Mini-Meta Musing (#4)

I've been brooding for a long time about, of all things, Aziraphale's worn velvet vest and the long cream jacket he's kept in "tip top condition for over 180 years now." I love the sweet familiarity, but this is the same angel who popped across the Channel and almost lost his fluffy-topped head in 1793 for dressing like an aristocrat.

"I have standards!"

He's the height of elegance, extravagance even. A dandy. We've seen the same at the Globe Theater 1601, Edinburgh 1827, and even as a Knight of the Round Table in 527 Essex, where he's wearing a glorious pelt across his shoulders! However, sometime after Edinburgh 1827, Aziraphale's stylish extravagance ends. He adopts the dress of distinguished but modest gentility. No seamstresses strain their eyes for days hand stitching ruffles and trims for him any longer. When we next see him in 1862, his clothing is refined, simple, and serviceable. It becomes his uniform, with only minor replacements. Why? What happened to change him?

Edinburgh 1827 happened. And his encounter with tragedy ran over his sensibilities like a locomotive.

Stargayzer Goods is now live!

Starting with 8 original Good Omens-inspired shirt designs and more coming in the next few weeks!

processing will start November 1

shirts are $30 USD for any size/colour

mugs (11 and 15oz) coming soon (listings up approximately mid-November)

US shipping only (international shipping starting mid-November)

limited sizes and colours only; if you have specific colour requests, shoot me a message here or via Etsy and I will do my best

all items are hand printed, so small variances are expected

design size estimates available on each listing

*dances*

Cute, brilliant Good Omens merch that doesn’t put money in the pockets of NG — I’m sold!!!!

What are you waiting for???

2 April 2023 - Crowley

Soon, he would have to go back to work. Crowley had no idea how he was going to start seeing people again. Over the past few months, he had become a shadow of himself. He had gone out the bare minimum, eaten the bare minimum, and drunk far more than the bare minimum.

He had gone from sorrow to anger and then back to sorrow. 

Because Crowley had loved with all of himself, and it had not been enough.

Because those like him were never enough.

(Damn you, Crowley. Falling in love like that, at forty years old. You idiot)

12 March 2022 - Crowley

It was probably going to rain, but it wasn't that important. He knew where he had to go and the path better than anyone else. 

The man on the path had hair that looked as soft as a dandelion, which sprouted just about everywhere in the mountains at that time of year. He had greeted him, as he always did on the trail, and the stranger seemed a little lost, as if he did not know exactly what to do. Crowley had gone on for a few minutes, thinking about whether he should stop and go back and offer him some help, just in case he needed it. Then he'd heard himself being called, and his life had momentarily found itself in one of those situations you only see in romantic comedies, like that damn movie with Gwyneth Paltrow, the one where the subway doors close and the whole course of things changes for that reason. Because she hadn't been able to get on the fucking subway.

Although he might have imagined it, he could not know at that moment. 

The man's eyes were the purest and most transparent he had ever seen. The smile he gave him was the most open and radiant that could exist. He looked like an almost otherworldly being.

Crowley could not have known it, but the doors of his stupid imaginary train had closed in front of him because he had stopped on the lodge path to talk to a person he did not yet know. 

And so, from that moment on, everything would be different.

I worked on a couple of illustrations for it and I promise it's beautiful ✨️

It is a truth universally acknowledged in the Good Omens fandom that an angel in need of a drink turns to his secret stash of Châteauneuf-du-Pape in the back room. He picked up a dozen cases in 1921, and a whole century later there's still some left… for special occasions.

Just to put things in perspective, a standard case contains 12 750ml bottles, for a total of 9 liters of wine. A dozen cases equals 144 bottles, or 108 liters of wine. That’s quite a lot for a single purchase, so Aziraphale — the established sherry and sweet drinks connoisseur — must have had a good reason for it.

One potential explanation is the aura of grandeur around this particular wine. The papal connection, rich history of the region, and recognition of high quality products give Châteauneuf-du-Pape wines a very luxurious status, considerably influencing their price tags. And Aziraphale is known to have standards.

Another one is the way in which their taste differs from Aziraphale’s usual choices: Châteauneuf-du-Pape reds are often described as earthy with gamey flavors that have hints of tar and leather. The wines are considered tough and tannic in their youth, but maintain their rich spiciness as they age.

Since everything in Good Omens has a meaning, it never hurts to run through a quick Strong’s Concordance search whenever a date pops up in a dialogue or, even more importantly, somewhere on screen. More often than not the result seems to match the researched topic, as it’s the case here:

1921: to know exactly, to recognize.

Provided examples: I come to know by directing my attention to him or it, I perceive, discern, recognize; I found out. The general usage of the word usually refers to knowing someone aptly, properly, thoroughly, even biblically. Which might be either a wishful thinking on Aziraphale’s part or just another layer of subtext in this already romantically charged scene. The table dressing, multiple candles, and focus on the lamps with Auguste Moreau’s Young Lovers statues in the background seem to successfully communicate what the angel left unsaid.

Too bad that Crowley remained so adorably oblivious for the next eighty years. At least when he finally came to the realization, he responded with an attempted temptation to another vintage red wine @vidavalor already analyzed.

But back to Aziraphale’s wine. To be exact, it’s a 1921 Châteauneuf-du-Pape from the domaine de Baban. An actual French vineyard from the Rhône region that still exists to this day, even though a few decades ago it got merged with another estate into what is now known as domaine Riché-Baban. According to the local guides, the 11 hectares on the estate are located in the Châteauneuf-du-Pape designation area in the Bois Lauzon and Mourre de Baud districts. At the moment 90% of the wines produced there are sent to wine dealers.

1920s were quite an interesting time for this region, but not because of the flapper cabarets or drag shows usually associated with the era on the Old Continent. To the horror of European oenophiles, right after World War I the whole of France found itself awash with fake wine. One of the worst outrages was the use of lead that magically transformed cheap, acid wine into something deceptively rich and sweet on the outside and one of the most powerful neurotoxins on the inside. People were already well aware of its effects — the poisoning from drinking sweetened wine probably made Handel go blind and Beethoven go deaf, but it shows how desperate for sweetness they were before sugar became available to the masses.

Admittably, it wasn’t a new practice. Far from it — the Romans liked it so much that they even advised to pack lead pans on travels to boil local wine in them to make it sweeter, especially in colder provinces like Britannia. But Aziraphale didn’t buy twelve cases of counterfeit wine for the sake of some good memories of Rome and its many health hazards. No, the fussy angel made sure to get the actually good stuff from the other side of the English Channel.

Henry Tacussel, whose name is mentioned on his wine label, was a French viticulturalist and a close friend of Baron Pierre Le Roy of the Chateau Fortia nearby, a trained lawyer and fellow winegrower from Châteauneuf-du-Pape who established the Winegrowers' Union of the Rhône Valley. Together with the Baron he became one of the founders of Appellation d'origine contrôlée (AOC), a labeling system intended to protect regional products and technologies that is still in use in France and serves as an inspiration to similar solutions worldwide. Their efforts were deliberately centred on Châteauneuf-du-Pape because with such a beguiling name even in comparison to other labels it seemed to attract an undue share of fraudsters at the time.

Soon after Aziraphale’s shopping spree, the local wine producers led by Le Roy and Tacussel began a very long campaign to establish legal protection for the wine from their commune. The delimited area and the method of wine production were finally awarded legal recognition after a decade, in 1933, but it wasn’t the end of the criminal activities on this front. An undercover investigation by The Sunday Times discovered that most of the “Châteauneuf” in the 1960s Britain was actually blended and bottled in Ipswich.

Did you know that Forbidden Planet has also official Good Official merchandise? :)

Currently it is :):

Good Omens Mug

Forbidden Planet link - £5.99

Good Omens Coaster

Forbidden Planet link - £3.49

They have one more coaster but it is currently unavailable, you can tho put there your email to be notified when it is avaliable again :).

Good Omens Print

Forbidden Planet link - £7.99

(no, I don't know how big it is :/ :D)

Good Omens T-Shirts

The End Was Just The Start - £15.99

The End Was Just The Start Women's Fit - £15.99

Cheers - £15.99

Cheers Women's Fit - £15.99

Aziraphale Icon - £19.99

Aziraphale Icon Women's Fit - £19.99

Crowley Icon - £19.99

Crowley Icon Women's Fit - £19.99

(and if you're already ordering Good Omens goodies and want a GO cover you don't have, they have these two :):)

The TV cover paperback - £8.99

As a wee birthday surprise for @ashfae​, I built Aziraphale’s bookshop as a book nook :) It also lights up:

It is entirely possible I got carried away, but that’s half the fun :D I’ll pop a few of the progress pictures and what i used below, so I don’t entirely flood your timelines, so you can see the sticky mess I made :)