𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒔

—from a book I found on internet

Maybe in another life, you love me mother. I spend days of my existence wandering if I did something wrong to you, something that made you think of me as being unworthy. Unlovable, maybe. You never did love me, in fact, mother, and I am not upset anymore. I am upset you left me to another woman, who did not love me either. Instead, her words cut deep and she spits her venom upon me day by day, not caring about my wound. A wound you created, mother, when you decided to leave me. She knows I have it, and drags her claws on it, then laughs into my face. Because, mother, I grew up to love her like I should have loved you, and she knows I would give my life for her, in a heartbeat. But then, she rips me apart and throws my heart away, my intentions, my good will. I want to scream, mother, for I am just a child whose mother left and never came back. I waited for you my entire life and it tore me apart in ways the woman you left me to knew. And now she does what you have done to me my entire childhood. Love me mother, so I can crawl away from the pain she inflicts upon me. Love me mother, so I can move on. Love me, mother.

It's too late. It's far too late. There is nothing that can be changed when fate decides that. When the rain pours outside, my heart dances through the raindrops and sings sea songs, filled with an unknown longing for something, for someone, for what could've happened. It will never happen.

Oh, my poor heart... Trapped inside the cage of my ribs. Her curse is to beat relentlessly, even when thoughts are becoming too hard to digest and the blood starts to run cold. Each breath seems just another confirmation of the agony my poor, sweet heart has to endure without rest. I caress my chest, in a weak attempt to remind myself that in the end, it is me who takes care of you. My poor, sweet heart..

pictures from pinterest <33