A Symphony of Shenanigans

William silently scowls at Wesker, his bitter face a stark contrast to his bright yellow Hawaiian shirt.

“Why else would you be wearing every article of clothing I loathe?”

Will continues to glare at him and stamps his feet. His sneakers light up in silent anger.

“I told you I had to go to a dinner with the councilwoman.”

William kicks his shoes off dramatically. They hit the wall behind Wesker’s head. He is wearing toe socks. 

“Really, that’s disgusting, William. Put these back on. If I see your toes moving individually I will beat you with them.” 

Will tears away his apparently tearaway pants, revealing his fuzzy legs sticking out of overly short gym shorts

Wesker is sick (or is he?)

Wesker and Will are in the lab

Will turns to look at Wesker. They are standing at different lab tables, backs facing each other

"Are you okay, Al? You're looking a bit paler than usual today."

"I am fine. My skin is a normal pallor," he mumbles irritatedly.

"Okay, well. If you say so," Will says, turning back to the microscope in front of him

-BLYEAGH-splat!!-

When Will looks back, there is now a puddle of vomit behind Wesker, who is intently looking at paperwork

"Did you just throw up?"

Wesker is in the lab when suddenly the door bangs open. There is nobody there

There's a groan and the sound of a body being dragged across the floor, though

Wesker looks over the table that stands between him and the door to see William crawling across the floor in blue striped pajamas. He looks both determined, and very obviously ill

Wesker rushes over to help him up and onto a stool. Once seated, Will slumps over the lab table and fumbles at a folder of reports, knocking over (fortunately)empty test tubes and breaking much glass

Wesker says nothing, but peels one of his gloves down far enough to be able to touch the back of his bare hand to Will's forehead. He's burning up

The door bangs open again. Will jumps when he sees Annette storming into the lab. "WILLIAM BIRKIN!"

"No, no, no!" he shouts, scribbling something on a report furiously.

"You are supposed to be at home resting! And then I have to hear that you're crawling down the halls at work in your pajamas?!"

"I NEED TO GET THIS DOWN! ITS IMPORTANT FOR MY WORK!"

Just then Wesker slips a needle into his friend's arm, catching him as he crumples off the stool.

Wesker raises an eyebrow as he reads the note, before passing it to Will and crossing the lab to get back to work.

Wesker is tired of Will's mullet obsession; it would be much more convenient if this atrocity of a hairstyle didn't exist

Will reads the note before clenching it in his fist and slamming it against the table emphatically

"Mullets are the greatest hairstyle to grace mankind's scalps, and the day Annette says I can grow mine out again will be the happiest day of my life."

"Didn't you have a wedding? And bear witness to the birth of your child?"

Wesker raises an eyebrow as he reads the note, before passing it to Will and crossing the lab to get back to work.

Wesker is tired of Will's mullet obsession; it would be much more convenient if this atrocity of a hairstyle didn't exist

Will reads the note before clenching it in his fist and slamming it against the table emphatically

"Mullets are the greatest hairstyle to grace mankind's scalps, and the day Annette says I can grow mine out again will be the happiest day of my life."

"Didn't you have a wedding? And bear witness to the birth of your child?"

Bonus mullet I found during my travels:

William is breathless, sweaty, and panicking

"Whatever Annette says, please just go along with-"

Annette appears in the door behind him and immediately locks eyes with Wesker

"YOU," she says, pointing a finger accusatorily at him. "Did you tell Sherry that she could fly from the garage roof if she had wings?"

Wesker looks to Will. He looks more frightened than he has ever been, sweating bullets and practically eating his bottom lip

Wesker looks back to Annette

"I did."

Annette slaps Wesker across the face

His sunglasses fly off, clattering against a wall

A red handprint starts to appear on his cheek as the door closes behind a furious Annette

An apologetic William picks up Wesker's sunglasses and hands them back to him

William is breathless, sweaty, and panicking

"Whatever Annette says, please just go along with-"

Annette appears in the door behind him and immediately locks eyes with Wesker

"YOU," she says, pointing a finger accusatorily at him. "Did you tell Sherry that she could fly from the garage roof if she had wings?"

Wesker looks to Will. He looks more frightened than he has ever been, sweating bullets and practically eating his bottom lip

Wesker looks back to Annette

"I did."

Annette slaps Wesker across the face

His sunglasses fly off, clattering against a wall

A red handprint starts to appear on his cheek as the door closes behind a furious Annette

An apologetic William picks up Wesker's sunglasses and hands them back to him