5sos trash :-)

can we all just be honest and admit it was neither we all thought of cascada im just being real

ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLD OPENS EVER

I laughed out loud in Starbucks because of this

This is a masterwork of storytelling which is also a rollercoaster from beginning to end.

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

@thatwhobumblesabout

Say what you want about Bratz dolls but you gotta concede that at least Bratz had white, Asian, Latina, and black dolls in their lineup and developed individual styles and characterizations and personalities for each of them and that’s more than Mattel ever did.

Why was Shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful Rufus Wainwright ballad followed by a Smash Mouth/Eddie Murphy cover of I’m A Believer and how can I thank them

You know skinny jeans are gonna go out of style eventually but we’re gonna keep wearing them. They’re gonna become mum jeans. Parent style. People are gonna be like “oh my god dad your jeans are so tight it’s so embarrassing please put something else on” and you’re gonna be like “oh yes because those flappy impractical things are so much better” and you will feel superior but really you will be Uncool. You will be Uncool and you won’t see it, just like your parents. This is your fate. 

me @ myself: wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward bud

there’s something really cute about how girls have a habit of trying to make anything difficult into a pleasant experience. like my new roommates just planned to get together to discuss contracts, but immediately suggested we do it with movies and nail-painting and chocolate. my friends and i used to dress up and do fun makeup for our exams. whenever my mom took me to doctors appointments when i was a kid, she’d brush my hair and put it up with lots of cute clips. girls are always trying to make things softer, or reduce the everyday stress in life. it’s such a nice way to be.

the other day at work, i asked a woman her name– like i do for everyone, because we have to write it on the cup–and she goes “we come in here all the time. you should really know our names by now” as if i don’t serve hundreds of people a day or as though a nondescript middle aged white woman made such an impact upon me that i’d remember her. i was feeling pretty impatient and irritable though, so i covered my name tag with my hand and asked her my name and she didn’t know it and at least had the decency to change demeanor from haughty and superior to sort of quietly embarrassed and i’m fairly sure that’s the only thing i’ve ever done at work that matters to me. 

Dreams

On a lighter note, while Noora, Sana, Vilde and Magnus were talking, Isak and Even were making out in an empty classroom.

Lemon Snickers: a many bad things

Citrus High Fructose Corn Syrup Sugar Vesicle: An Arrangement of Deplorable Affairs 

Fruit Candy: Uh-Oh

@daphnetrodon

@dngay596