The Life of a Tree

This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

Look I know this is a scientific publication but you don’t understand— we need to include milk and cookies in the photo. We have to. Otherwise the science suffers

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

bug haters will be like "thanks i hate it" and then show you a picture of the cutest animal you've ever seen

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

I always think about that one post that was like "how come the surviving doctors in zombie apocalypse stories are always veterinarians" and the reply "because veterinarians make 'not getting bitten by their patients' a core skill"