Just Enough

hey guys! rin/jae here. just wanted to say im still alive. i may have paused on the rping scene for a bit but im still very much active! you can find me on my main/art blog now at itsjaehan! i’ll look forward to talking to you there once more~!!

reblogs will be appreciated! x3

hey there. ive been away for quite some time huh? no worries - still alive, if you were worried that is. as to why ive been away - if you were somehow one of the few who read my last post about my .. condition, then you probably have an idea why i suddenly disappeared. 

the news kind of hit me hard even though i shouldve expected it. anyway - i kind of fell into a slump but the good thing that came out of it is that i managed to gather the courage to ask for help. i talked to my professor about it - who was probably the only person who’d understand where im coming from - and told me she can refer me to a counselor/psychologist for further help with my condition. and its i dont have to spend money for it. right now i already told her im willing to go through it and were just waiting for confirmation/permission from the uni’s admin for me to go there. 

among other things, i tried to talk to my mom about it but unfortunately, i dont think she gets it. but i hope that eventually she’ll understand. 

im really hoping i’ll get the go signal cause i really want this. i want help. i dont want to further fall into this slump.

as for what ive been doing while i was away, since my current state didnt allow me the proper mindset to write and roleplay, i’ve been sketching. a lot. and a few friends of mine convinced me to make an art blog so - shameless promo, i made an art blog at itsjaehan. come see my shitty art.

not really negative nor a rant. just felt the need to lay this down somewhere cause i cant tell my family - or anyone personally really. you dont have to read, but you can if you want.

because i hate myself. also bc I WANT TO PLAY HIS ROUTE ALREADY BUT I HAVE TO SAVE HIM FOR LAST. ALKSGHA;WLGNAWLGANGLHAKBGAHJFML i have to do jumin’s first.

feel free to hate me too.

               The clock on his bedside drawer blinked 3:41 AM at him.

          He’s been awake for almost an hour now, refusing to go back to sleep. It was very rare for Akaashi to be plagued with nightmares - and really, he wasnt the type to be scared so easily. However, his nightmares werent the usual ones. No. His nightmares involved him being unable to move, unable to wake himself up from it. It terrified him. 

          The moment he found himself successfully waking up, he immediately sat up, refusing to lay his head back on the pillow in fears of falling back into paralysis - no matter how heavy his eyelids felt. But sleep has long since left him. He had already laid back on his bed - awake - torn between wanting to sleep and being scared to.

          It was silly. 

          Grabbing his phone beside his pillow, he scrolled through his contacts and paused. Was it really a good idea? At this time of night they were probably sleeping. Nevertheless, he sent a message.

GUYS. I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOW WHY 707 IS SO ADDICTED TO THOSE HONEY BUDDHA CHIPS.