Aelalala

Congratulations. The fic will be available on a password protected blog soon. The blog will be an archive that takes you to a separate google doc to read.

I need to address something important.

During my half-month break, The Wager was uploaded to Wattpad by someone else without my knowledge or permission. While I understand their note may have come from a place of wanting others to read it, I want to be absolutely clear: I do not allow my works to be reproduced, reposted, or taken out of my official archives under any circumstances.

This is not about gatekeeping for the sake of it — it’s about respecting the boundaries I’ve clearly stated here on my blog:

“This archive is restricted to those who truly want to read. In no ways will the contents here be reproduced or taken out of its containers.”

I removed The Wager from public view for valid reasons — personal matters, burnout, and the need to protect myself after receiving a wave of false accusations that it was AI-generated. I am currently working on the official EPUB version, which will be released on my own terms and in the format I’ve always intended.

If you enjoy my work, the best way to support me is by respecting those boundaries and waiting for the official release. Unauthorized uploads not only break trust, they strip the story from the context and care I’ve built around it.

Thank you to everyone who has waited patiently, sent kind messages, and respected the creative process.

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth saying again — especially after discovering that one of my deleted works has been uploaded elsewhere without my permission.

I didn’t pull the story down for attention. I pulled it down because the hate I received — the accusations of AI use, the dismissiveness, the outright bullying — made it hard to breathe. It became impossible to keep sharing something I poured my soul into when the very act of doing so was used to hurt me.

So yes, I gatekept it. Because I needed to. Because I still do.

This isn’t about punishing readers — it’s about protecting myself, my process, and my right to choose how and where my work lives. I’ve made it clear in my archive:

This archive is restricted to those who truly want to read. In no ways will the contents here be reproduced or taken out of its containers.

That’s not a decorative disclaimer. That’s a boundary.

I understand the desire to share. I understand the love behind it. But intent doesn’t erase impact. Uploading something I removed — without talking to me — disrespects the pain that led me to remove it in the first place.

To those who waited, who respected the quiet, who never crossed that line — thank you. I see you. I write for you.

And to those who still want to experience the story: trust that if and when I’m ready to re-share, I’ll do it on my terms.

Creating is vulnerable. Gatekeeping isn’t cruelty — it’s care. 🖤

Hi darling! 💌 First of all — welcome. The fact that you even want to write is already something powerful. A lot of people never even make it to that point, so give yourself credit for being at the edge of something beautiful.

Now about focus, ideas, and expressing emotions — those are very common struggles, so you’re not alone. Let me offer you a few soft (but solid!) tips that might help:

🌙 1. Start with feelings, not plots.

Instead of asking “what should I write?”, ask “what have I felt lately that I want someone else to understand?” That ache? That longing? That memory that won’t leave you alone? Start there. Emotion is a compass — follow it.

🕯 2. Write tiny scenes instead of full stories.

Don’t pressure yourself to build a whole world right away. Write one moment: a conversation. A glance. A goodbye. You’re not building the house yet — just placing the first brick

🪞 3. Use music or photos to unlock your mind.

Make moodboards. Create playlists. Pretend you’re scoring a scene in a movie. Sometimes, it’s easier to feel something real when a song hits the nerve for you. Then, try to translate that feeling into words.

📖 4. Read a lot. And don’t be afraid to mimic.

Copy down your favorite passage and try rewriting it in your tone. It’s not cheating — it’s training. You’re learning the rhythm, the weight of words, the silence between lines.

💭 5. Don’t aim for “expressive” — aim for “honest.”

You don’t need fancy metaphors or perfect descriptions. Just try saying what you would say, plainly, like you’re texting a friend who just needs to understand you. That’s the kind of writing that hits hardest.

And remember this: writing isn’t about always knowing what to say. It’s about being willing to try, again and again. You’ll find your voice. You’ll surprise yourself. Be patient, and stay close to what feels real.

I would like to make a book based on Mary and Riri ( cause I actually swear there needs to be more) and do you have any tips that would help a inspiring writer? Oh will Alina ever show back up in your books? And girlie you are an amazing you have no idea how much your books do help people and I hope you have an amazing day or night ✦💜

Aww this is such a warm and heartfelt message — thank you, truly. 🥺💌 It means so much to hear that the way I write resonates with you. Sometimes, when you’re deep in the chaos of plot twists and late-night edits, you forget that the work is actually felt by someone. So thank you for reminding me. 🤍

Now to your question: how do I write with care and feeling? Honestly… I let myself feel everything first. Before I even write, I spend time sitting with the emotion of a scene. Not just “what happens,” but “how does it hurt?” or “what memory does this mirror?” Even if the characters are fictional, the emotions are real. And I think that’s what makes it land — when you write from a place that’s honest inside you.

As for tips, especially for your Mary x Riri book (yes please, we need more of them!):

🩶 Start with what draws you to them. Is it their contrast? Their potential? Their tension? That spark you feel? Name it. That becomes your anchor.

📝 Write like no one’s watching. Draft your first scenes like it’s just for you. No pressure to post. Just play. Let them speak. Let them surprise you.

📖 Read fics or media with a similar vibe. It doesn’t have to be the same characters — but if you find a book or show that feels like them, absorb that tone and use it as inspiration.

💭 Ask: what’s the emotional cost of this scene? Even fluff has stakes. What does it mean for them to reach for each other? What are they afraid of?

And lastly, please remember this: you don’t have to be “perfect” to be powerful. Your voice matters. Your lens is unique. And someone out there — maybe even a future version of you — will be grateful you wrote that story.

Hi, darling — this is such a kind message, and I’m so sorry it took a while to respond. Sometimes ask me anything messages get buried, but this one means a lot. 💌

First: the fact that you want to write is already more than enough. That desire? That ache to turn feelings into words? That’s where all of it begins. You’re not behind. You’re just at the start of something.

If you feel like the words aren’t coming out “right,” try this: write as if no one will ever read it. No pressure. No audience. Just you and the page. Sometimes, the fear of sounding wrong gets in the way of sounding real — but truth always reads better than perfection.

Also: don’t underestimate the power of reading. Absorb the styles you love. Borrow their rhythm. Try rewriting a paragraph from your favorite fic but in your own words. That’s not cheating — that’s training.

And finally? Writing isn’t about always having the right words. It’s about staying with yourself long enough to find them. Even if it takes a while. Even if it’s messy. Even if it hurts a little.

So please write. Even if it’s clumsy. Even if it’s a draft you’ll never post. Someone out there needs your voice — but more importantly, you do.

I understand exactly what you mean, and honestly, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Several readers have DM’d me in private, telling me they’ve quietly dropped the fics of the people involved — not out of blind loyalty to me, but because they just couldn’t bring themselves to enjoy something once they saw how those writers treated another person in the same space. That means a lot more to me than I can explain.

To answer your question: yes, I’ve already exposed the Twitter convos of the ones involved. But I’ve stopped short of hand-feeding people a labeled list of “who wrote what” — and that’s intentional. I’ve laid the truth out plainly. It’s up to readers now to piece it together and make their own decisions. I’m not here to tell people what to read, but I am here to protect the truth, especially when others tried to bury it or rewrite it to save face.

If a story is built on talent but laced with cruelty, I get why it becomes unreadable. Some people can separate art from artist. Others can’t — and shouldn’t have to. Especially in spaces like fandom, where the connection between community and content is so deeply personal.

recently, i’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of… noise. assumptions, hate, and people mistaking my writing for something it’s not.

it hurt. it still does. but it reminded me why i write in the first place — to feel, to connect, and to create something real in a world that often isn’t.

so as a thank you for the love, patience, and kindness i’ve been shown — i’m making something for you:

📘 a series of self-help books for writers — small, heartfelt digital books that walk beside you when the doubt gets too loud.

they’ll be released soon via my Ko-fi, and they’ll be for:

• writers who feel not enough

• writers whose drafts get abandoned halfway

• writers afraid of never being “good enough”

• writers who’ve been mistaken for machines

• writers who are still learning to love their voice

i know what it’s like to feel like your words don’t belong.

so i made these to remind you: they do.

💌 https://ko-fi.com/aellathedreamer

softly, soon.

with love and an aching pen,

i’ve quietly opened a ko-fi 💌

no pressure at all — just a soft space for those who’ve asked how they can support the chaos behind my writing + ballet-fueled life.

if you’ve ever reread a metaphor and whispered “she needs sleep and a publishing deal”, this is for you:

➤ https://ko-fi.com/aellathedreamer

💡 to be clear: i’m not selling fanfics — they’ll always stay free, as they should.

this space just offers cozy extras around the work — behind-the-scenes bits, writer tools, playlists, and creative resources i’ve made with love.

what you’ll find there:

• early fic sneak peeks + drafts too raw for tumblr

• ballet-curated playlists i use while writing

• downloadable zines, templates, and chapter worksheets

• and soon…

🗒️ a full writer’s workbook

— think NaNoWriMo, but built for self-reflection, craft growth, and slowly rebuilding your writing self. made for dreamers, overthinkers, and people who write in the margins of their life.

again, no obligation. everything important will still live here. but if you’d like to support me (or just lurk and see what i’m building), i’d be honored.

with love + pointe shoes falling apart,

a.k.a. “literary vegetables in fanfic form”

I like educating my readers — not with a lecture, but with a gamble.

The same way parents blend vegetables into pasta sauce, I slip Eurydice under your skin. I tuck Orpheus into a stage cue. I lace tragedy into a hallway scene you thought was just drama.

You think you’re reading a psychological spiral about a schoolgirl with a gun and a grudge?

Congratulations. You just consumed a retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice.

You just read a structural reference to Hamlet.

You just walked through Faust, dressed up in a school uniform.

There’s beauty in that — in tricking the brain into loving something it didn’t know it needed.

Fanfiction doesn’t have to choose between fun and depth. You can have both. I’ll make sure of it.

So yes. I write psychological thrillers.

Yes, I write deranged ballroom scenes and blackout gambles.

But I also hand you mythology. Allegory. Subtext. Architecture.

You don’t even need to know what you’re reading for it to leave a mark.

Because somewhere, in between the cards and the confessions,

you learned something.

I like educating my readers — not in the textbook sense, but in the you’ll learn because the story refuses to be easy kind of way.

Whether it’s literary structure, narrative tension, or formatting that fights back, I want readers to walk away having felt something strange, something intentional. I want them to notice how the shape of a paragraph can feel like panic. How a password gate can mimic the feeling of being locked out — or watched. How a blackout page can feel like censorship, grief, silence.

I’m not trying to confuse for the sake of confusion.

I’m showing you what story can do when it refuses to behave.

That’s why I love ergodic fiction.

That’s why I bury clues in margins.

That’s why I make you click things that don’t look clickable.

Because the act of reading becomes the act of uncovering.

The story is the teacher.

And the reader?

They don’t just follow.

I usually write with sharp vividness — everything bleeding color, scent, texture. But this one? Minimalist. Quiet. Sparse like an empty theater. It’s a challenge, but I like it. Stripping things down forces the horror to linger longer. You fill in the blanks, and somehow it’s worse.

Also: I should probably be sleeping instead of scaring myself at 12AM writing psychological horror ballet scenes but here we are. 😃🕯️