This whole Sam loved Celaena, Chaol loved Lillian and Rowan loved Aelin stuff is completely missing the point - Rowan didnât just love Aelin. Rowan loved who she was at her core. Sam and Chaol loved the pieces she gave them but Rowan collected all the pieces, made a fucking jigsaw and decided he was keeping it
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Written for @tomtenadia for our Rowaelin secret Santa
Guys⌠I canât believe Iâm saying this but⌠I donât think Iâll be able to update this fic (or any other) until next year đ
Heheheheh Happy New Year yâall!! đĽłâ¨
Warnings: idiots in love
Words: 3,2k
TWO MONTHS LATER
Aelin received her last letter from her mother yesterday.
In a week, sheâd be getting on a boat with Aedion and the few guards and servants that followed along by her parentsâ demand.
Weirdly enough, as much as she loved her home, Aelin didnât anticipate this moment as she thought she wouldâit felt like an eternity when she settled on a three-month trip, and now it felt like not enough time.
It hurt to think of the reason why.
Aelin sighed, willing her body to melt on the bath water she heated herself. The taut support she rested on was as comfortable as ever, though Rowanâs body wasnât exactly pillow-like.
He he drew her closer with one arm around her waist, water sloshing around the bathtub. Aelin leaned the back of her head against his shoulder and sighed.
âYouâre worried,â he said. Not a question.
âI think we should join the others soon,â she lied.
There was no such thing as hiding a lover among the Fae. Theyâd never acted on their affections in publicâheâd been flying in and out of her window to avoid the sentries outside her doorâbut every creature with Fae blood in this castle could scent Rowan in Aelin and vice-versa.
âAnd you havenât thought about what I said last night?â
Looks like Rowan had his mind on the same things.
He continued, âYou should stay another season. Whatâs there to do when Orynth gets buried under snow, anyway?â
She chuckled. âIâm a crown princess. I canât disappear for half a year to gorgeous-Fae-prince-land.â
Rowan grunted and wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, his chin on top of her head.
Aelin pointed at their breakfast tray. âWould youâŚ?â
He absentmindedly levitated a croissant from their breakfast tray nearby, and Aelin heated her hand until it was dry to catch it.
She pouted. âThis wasnât the one I wanted.â
He chuckled, already knowing what she meant. Aelin heated the croissant for him and dried his fingers when he extended his hand.
Rowan wasnât a pastry devotee like Aelin, but he always appreciated the food she handed him.
Once the simplest of croissants had a proper owner, Aelin demanded the croissant she was meant to haveâone of the few stuffed with chocolate hazelnut ones.
âAny plans for the day?â she asked.
âFenrys requested my company today.â
âOh?â Aelin twisted her body to face him as much as she could. âWhat are you two up to?â
The stillness of her heartbeat was as far as sheâd let her apprehension go. Aelin liked Fenrys, but he was a known rake and a wild card. Rowan had never came back with someone elseâs scent, and they havenât discussed the nature of their relationship, butâ
âButâ nothing. They havenât discussed it, and they wouldnât now, one week before she parted.
Two months ago, having any claim on Rowan was the last thing she wanted.
But two months is quite some time, isnât it?
âI didnât ask,â Rowan replied. âHeâd convince me to go either way, and I donât wanna torture myself with the knowledge beforehand.â
Aelin nodded. She leaned her body on his further and toyed with his fingers. Slid her thumb along the palm of her hand.
Would she ever feel ready to test if they were carranam? Because they were certainly something, and Aelinâs mind was endlessly wavering, torn between both options.
It certainly wasnât both. The likelihood of having one of these bonds was incredibly lowâboth, between the same creatures, with one of them being demi-Fae was downright impossible. No sane Fae would consider such a thing.
Rowan kissed the crown of her head. âIâve lost you to your thoughts again.â
âDo you still think weâre mated?â
Rowan tensed. He placed his hands on Aelinâs shoulders, both in a soothing motion, and said in a too-quiet voice, âI think weâre whatever we want to be.â
A far cry from the prince who walked into that library demanding to get to know better his âmateâ.
His reply was no answer at all, yet all the answer she needed.
ËË
âDo you think itâs too much?â Aelin asked, biting her nail.
âI absolutely think itâs too much,â Aedion replied.
Aelin sighed. âYou werenât supposed to be this honest.â
At her antechamber, the two cousins stared at the table that laid all the gifts she bought for the cook: a knife made of ungodly expensive steel thatâs allegedly unbreakable and always sharp, a chest of rare ingredients and herbs, and spidersilk gloves so she never injures her hands at work. Along with a note thanking her for the cooking.
And a request for a couple of his recipes, such as the hazelnut tarts sheâd eaten every day.
Aedion shook his head. âYou shouldâve known better after Eyllwe.â
That cook from Eyllweâs castle. The only one Aelin could never get a recipe from, no matter how many lavish gifts she showered him with. He said he wouldnât give the fruit loaf recipe so Aelin would visit more often, but she knew it was because heâs stingyâhis tactic worked either way.
âWhat else do we need to sort out before we leave?â Aelin asked mostly out of curiosity for Aedionâs plans. With one exception, everything she needed was at least half-ready.
âI need to visit my motherâs grave one last time, and Iâm still wondering if I should bring Rhoe a bottle of that Fae scotch.â
âOh, gods.â Aelin shook her head. What a terrible idea. âDad canât handle scotch for humans. Mom will kill youâyou know she will.â
Aedionâs smirk was fiendish before he let it go and said, âWhat about you?â
âIâve got everything sorted out. Except maybe for the cookâs gift, and Iâm still wondering if I should see the healer before departing.â
He frowned. âAre you unwell?â
âHow much do you want to hear about the malfunction on my lady parts?â
His face twisted into the most tortured grimace. âNone, please. Iâll get the healer before you delay it further.â
Forever the mother hen, her cousin left to send for the healer before she could protest and say it wasnât that much of a big deal.
Aelinâs monthly cycle was supposed to come days ago. It had gotten irregular in the past out of stress or overexertionâit wouldnât be a surprise if it happened again, but it was better to have it checked now that she was spending the next few weeks on a boat.
âThe steward is summoning her,â Aedion said as he re-entered her antechamber and closed the door. âNow tell me, what are you doing about Prince Rowan?â
âWhat about him?â Aelin frowned. As close as they were, they never meddled in each otherâs affairs like this.
âI donât know. You smell different.â
âDifferent?â
âStop doing that.â
âStop what?â
âStop repeating my questions with a question.â
âIâm doing that because Iâm confused! Rowan and I are companions in merriment, not matrimonyâmy departure wonât hurt his feelings.â Though Aelin couldnât say the same about herself. âAnd how can someone smell different?â
âI donât know. You smell different, and I donât know what that isâIâve never smelled it before, but itâs similar to how Rowan smells.â
âHe asked me to stay here another season.â
Aedionâs brows shot up.
âI know,â she said. âI thought of inviting him to Terrasen since he has a whole season to spare, but can you imagine the scandal? Me coming back with a Doranellian loverâgods.â Aelin threw herself on the divan. âAnd Iâd do it, but for what end? Iâd buy this endless fight with my parents and the council for a match that wonât even last.â
Aedion sat on the armchair before her, seemingly thinking hard on the subject. âDidnât he practically demand to marry you or something? Doranelle could be a powerful ally if Queen Sellene and your dad are willing to mend that bridge and find some common ground.â
âRowan wants the stars to align into an arrow shape and point at someone for him to love, not a regular wife.â
Besides, did she want to marry Rowan? Aelin hadnât even considered it could get that far.
âHe wants a mate, you mean?â
âExactly. That was his premise when he suggested we would eventually marry, and if he hasnât married in the last three hundred or so years, I doubt heâll want a wife now.â
If Sellene was anything like Maeve, sheâd hand Rowan on a silver platter for a chance to get closer to Aelin. But as someone whoâs dreaded a political marriage her entire life, Aelin didnât want it like this. Not for Rowan.
âWell, cousin.â Aedion reached for a cigar and wiggled it between his fingers so Aelin could light it for him. âAfter a through assessment, itâs safe to say that youâre fucked.â
Aelin had as long as a deep breath to take in the amount of shit she was in before the healer knocked on her door.
âDonât leave,â she told Aedion on her way to the door. âIf I had to sit through this, you have to tell me about Fenrys as well.â
âItâs an uncommitted affair with sporadic encounters,â her cousin said, pink tinging his cheeks.
Aelin chuckled and opened her door to greet the healer holding a small case, and gestured for the female to follow her into a more private roomâone Aedion wouldnât listen even if he wanted to.
When they were settled and Aelin explained her what happened, she showed the healer the little calendar she tracked her monthly cycles in and the questions started.
Yes, sheâs had irregular cycles before, though it was unusual.
Yes, sheâs feeling stressed out.
No, she hadnât gained or lost weight recently.
Yes, she was sexually active.
The healer pointed to the bed and said, âIf Your Highness doesnât mind.â
After Aelin laid down for a proper examination, the femaleâs hands hovered over Aelinâs body to assess it, and touched it a moment or two. When it landed on her lower stomach, the healer said, âI think I know whatâs going on.â Her face remained impassive throughout the rest of her examination. Soon enough, she told Aelin to sit back at her armchair.
âYour Highness, youâre with child.â
The entire world spun.
Aelinâs with what?
âYou meanâŚâ Aelin trailed and pointed at her belly. âLittle heir?â
âExactly.â The female sent her a warm smile. âOnly healing magic can detect it so far, but the baby will develop its scent and blend into yours soon enough.â
âHow soon?â
âAny time now.â
Aelin nodded, her mind blank.
âYour body seems to be healthy enough for childbearing, but you shouldâŚâ
The healer went on with a million recommendations about her expecting, plus lists of foods, herbs and tonics to use so the baby grows properly. Good thing she was writing it down, because Aelin was barely listening.
She was having a baby.
One that might have turquoise or green eyes and fire or wind magic and a human or hawk animal form.
One that will either reunite two opposing kingdoms or initiate a war between them.
Holy rutting Mala. She was so screwed.
The healer cleared her throat, and thatâs when Aelin realized she was gawking at a blank point rather than pretending to be attention.
âYour Highness, if you donât mind me sayingâŚâ
âPlease, go ahead.â
The healer set aside the list of recommendations to say, âFae children are rare, even more so when one or both of the parents is full-blooded. In my hundreds of years working as a healer, Iâve never seen the Fae reject their offspring the same way humans doâbabies are often cherished despite the circunstancies in which they were born.â
The healer was engaged with castle gossip, then.
âYou seeâŚâ Aelin leaned forward, eyes intent on the healerâs. âIt is of our best interest that your knowledge of my condition stays confidential. Iâm sure I can compensate you for the good workâand discretion.â
ËË
Aedion was still on her antechamber when Aelin walked the healer out.
âHow was it?â
Aelin blinked. Gods, how was it? âIâmâŚâ Aelin trailed, struggling to find her words in this dazzling state. âBaby.â
Aedionâs full body stiffened. âYouâre loud like one, yes. Now be serious.â
âYou knowâŚâ Aelin frowned at her stomach. âShe said Iâm with child.â
He was in front of her as quick as his Fae speed could muster, sniffing her harder than a dog does to a new acquaintance.
âYou donât smell like it.â
âItâs too soon to scent it. I wouldnât have known without a magical healer.â
Aedion paced. And paced. And paced. So much he wouldâve cut a hole into the floor were his shoes sharp.
âDid you bribe her?â he asked.
âYes. Itâs concerning how that was my first instinct once she gave me the news.â
Castle gossipâAelin had mastered the art of controlling what was said about her as much as possible.
âWe must leaveâimmediately.â
âI agree.â She needed the familyâs trusted healer to oversee this bearing and, all of a sudden, Aelinâs chest ached for her mother. âRowan and Fenrys must be arriving back at the castle soon. As soon as I tell himââ
âNo!â Aedion interrupted. He placed both arms on Aelinâs shoulders so she could sit on an armchair, then kneeled before her and said, âI admire you so much for wanting to do the right thing, but thatâs too dangerous. Youâre carrying a Whitethorn. Doranelle finally has a claim on you.â
Aelin nodded. He was right. This was the fulfillment of Queen Maeveâs dreams, and they didnât know Queen Sellene enough to risk it.
âAelin, weâre alone in a foreign land that neighbors Doranelle. Weâre closer to their army than ours. Youâre in a vulnerable position.â He held her face with both hands, maintaining strong eye contact as he said, âWe need to go home. Weâll need an entire team to come up with a proper agreement between kingdoms, andâŚâ Aedion swallowed. âWe may or may not need an army.â
ËË
It was the second time Aelin tried to get on a damned ship.
The salt air reeked of fish, and that alone was enough to make her queasy.
When Aelin first got on the ship yesterday, she retched her guts out before it even departedâwhich she was glad for, because they got to leave before being trapped in that vomit-inducing monstrosity for weeks.
After that, they stayed in an inn overnight and Aedion bought a monthâs worth of everything anti-nausea that healerâMala bless herâwrote down, and a few things more.
Now, Aelin was safely tucked into her room in the ship, near the stern where the motion of the sea is less noticeable. Even with the thick wood between her and the harbor, she could still make out the sound of the gullsâ cries, slap of water against the shore and people calling to one another all added to the mayhem that was Vareseâs harbor. Sheâd be watching it, but her window faced the sea, and Aelin wasnât in a lively mood today.
She missed Rowan.
It was true that carrying a child left mothers-to-be moody, but itâd be unfair to blame it for the full extent of her feelingsâshe blamed Rowan as well.
Rowan and his dry humor and hard muscles that felt soft when cuddlingâevery time her chest ached with longing for him, it was absolutely his fault.
The only thing Aelin didnât blame him for entirely was for his seed taking root inside of her. After her mother spent her entire fertile life trying to conceive and ended up with only one child, Aelin vowed to never take a contraceptive tonicâfacing the judgement of bearing a child out of marriage was better than leaving Terrasen without an heir.
And that reminder only made her more eager to go home. The lords will be livid that a decision about Aelinâs own body escaped their control, but that might be overshadowed by the fact that theyâll be dealing with Doranelle soon.
It would be chaos in every scenario Aelin tried to predict, and she just wanted it to be over with.
Aelin got up and met the sentries outside her doorâone of her fatherâs requirements for her trip.
Gods, her dad will be so proud when he gets to see what she can do with her flames now.
The thought made her think of Rowan again. She was doomed.
The sentries jumped, wide-eyed when she opened her door.
âWhy is it taking us so long to leave?â
One of the males glanced at the narrow hallway before he said, âThereâs an issue with a stowaway. Word is that heâs been raising hell in other ships too.â
Aelin frowned. âSo heâs a bandit?â
He shrugged. âThatâs all I know. Weâre under strict orders that no one other than Prince Aedion should get in or out of your room for now.â
She closed the door, laid back on the bed and grabbed a book. There were plenty of people outside dealing with the bandit, and Aelin couldnât put Terrasenâs heir at risk by engaging in fights she could avoid.
She didnât think Aedion would find a ship with a room this nice at the last minute, but Aelin was grateful for itâif she was going to be miserable, she might as well be doing it in a comfortable, spacious room.
For a moment, Aelin heard shouting outside. She straightened herself into a seating position at the bed and willed her flames to stay ready to attack. It was gone soon.
They mustâve caught himâAelinâs side of the ship was filled with guards.
She focused back on her book and throughly judged the fictional princessâ choices. Gods, who wrote this thing?
A loud crack stole her attention as the glass from her window shattered under the windâs strength.
That wind she knew too well.
Aelinâs entire body tensed. As she got up, a hawk flew past her broken window and into her room.
He shifted into his Fae form at the same time the guards burst into her room.
âYour Highness, are youâTHE BANDIT!â
Aelin grew a wall of flame between them and the guards before another fight could ensue.
âThatâs not a bandit,â she shouted, âthatâs Prince Rowan of Doranelle!â
To be fair, he didnât look princely at all. With clothes torn at the seams and a frazzled expression of somber eyes and disheveled hair, Rowan looked like a tramp or a drunk rather than a prince.
Aelin shooed away the guards before she could fully focus on him, but Rowan had barely noticed them, holding her closer without caring about their privacy.
âHow dare you,â he murmured against her head. âHow dare you leave town with just a goodbye letter thanking me for the orgasms.â
In that moment, all Aelin knew was the swell of warmth she felt on her chest when he was nearâif she had any problems before this moment, it was lost to her.
She chuckled and nipped his chin. âYou knew Iâd be leaving either way.â
âAnd you should grant a male his time to fix that.â Rowan kissed her cheek, jaw, nipped her neck. âHow are youââ
Rowan sniffed along her neck and froze. All warmth was gone when he took a step back from her.
Nothing couldâve prepared her for the betrayed look in her loverâs eyes.
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i know, i know. em is getting involved in fandom discourse, what?! but this is my blog and i'm allowed to share my opinions. if you don't like them you are more than welcome to unfollow me! that's the beauty of social media, if you don't like something, you don't have to follow the creator you disagree with. and that's perfectly okay. i also don't have to talk about or involve myself in fandom discourse, but again, this is my blog and i want to share my opinions.
today's topic is going to be sam and aelin's relationship. this one is super controversial. i really only know a small group of people that really agree with me about any of this and that's fine. but i see a lot of things on my feed that i just like... cannot get behind. and i want to share why. this might get a little jumbled and might jump around a lot, so bear with me.
i've talked about this a lot with @westofmoon, and this is like our opinions combined and what we've talked about ever since we became friends, so i want to give credit where credit is due if she wants it. if not, whoops. i'll edit this out of the post lolol.
LET'S JUMP INTO IT!
the very first point that i want to make is that celaena and aelin are the same person. point blank, period. she is one and the same. celaena was merely a mask born out of a lifetime of trauma. she isn't two separate people, or two separate entities in one body. she's always been aelin. her story was about her embracing every part of herself and her destiny, and that included dropping the mask of celaena and just being herself. she has only ever been aelin, hiding behind a name to run from her past and her future.
i want to also make it clear that i don't hate sam. i don't necessarily like him either, but i don't hate him. this isn't like an i hate sam!!! post and rant. it's just what i've gathered from reading the text. he was always just lukewarm to me. which brings me to my next point.
sam deserved more than what he got. he didn't deserve that death, he didn't deserve all the abuse he suffered through his life. he deserved more. he died a young and insanely tragic death, and never had the chance to grow into himself and better his life like he wanted to. it's sad. and i think his death gets romanticized because of what he meant to aelin at the time, but i think a lot of her reaction had to do with guilt. it was entirely genuine, and i think she did have love for him to some degree, but i think a lot of it came from guilt.
their love for each other came out of convenience. i think it was important to both of them, especially for aelin learning and growing as a young woman. but it was incredibly short lived, the time they had together. but neither of them really had options, and i think this gets overlooked quite a bit. who else was aelin going to go for? arobynn? tern? archer? it is very easy to have feelings for someone when they're the only semi-decent person around. aelin was starved for affection. after her parents died, she only knew abuse. sam only knew abuse. and the naturally gravitated toward each other because of that. sam could have had lysandra, sure, but sam and aelin were with each other all the time so they would naturally lean into the other.
from the beginning, they wanted different things. and that was pretty clear. i think aelin says sam would have been a good king out of guilt and grief. sam wouldn't have been a good king. maybe he could have been, of course. but from what we saw, not much really indicated that he would have been fit to help her rule.
i don't think aelin's truth would have gone over well with sam. i mean, he couldn't even handle her being arobynn's favorite without so much resentment. he couldn't stand that arobynn preferred aelin. she also, at any point, could have told him her truth. but she didn't. she didn't feel comfortable or safe enough, and that is the biggest sign to me that they weren't any sort of mates. i'll get into that whole thing in a little bit, but the fact that she could never tell him her truth says so much. and it gets overlooked.
realistically, i don't think their relationship would have ever lasted. they wanted different things and i think over the course of even a year together, they probably would have grown apart and gone separate ways. or they would have stayed in the relationship out of familiarity and it wouldn't have blossomed into a true, burning love.
the mate thing. y'all, i just can't with this one. mates are said to be equals. and celaena was always aelin. you can't separate the two. it isn't like a night and day transformation, save her getting more mature and learning to use her magic and embracing her destiny. sam was never her equal. ever. he is no match for aelin, and even when she didn't have magic, still no. this one really gets to me because there is a lot of separation of aelin from celaena in this argument. she never belonged to sam, she never belonged to dorian. aelin has only ever belonged to herself, and rowan as her equal understands and loves that. and if you want to further make the argument that sam was celeana's mate, aelin admits that she fell in love with rowan while she was still hiding behind celaena's mask. she knew they were mates and carranam in heir of fire. she literally says that. it's black and white in the text.
aelin's love for rowan dwarfs her love for sam by tenfold. more than that, even. aelin has said numerous times that her feelings for rowan were far beyond anything she'd ever felt for anyone else. if sam were aelin's mate, it would have been an acknowledgement of the love being equal. it's just like how rowan didn't feel for lyria how he feels for aelin. that whole relationship was manipulated to break rowan to break aelin. if sam was ever aelin's mate, maeve would have used that to manipulate her even further. maeve was twisting the fate of aelin's life centuries before she was born. what happened to sam was merely a tragedy because arobynn is a petty fuck and used that to hurt aelin, but it isn't quite the same as everything that maeve did. aelin literally shot herself through multiple universes to get back to rowan. sadly, i just don't think she would have ever done the same for sam.
i think people feel so strongly over sam's death because sam was an important person to her life. i personally felt sad about it out of empathy for aelin, but not because of sam, really. yes, it was tragic. yes, he deserved more. but for me, and most of the people that agree with me on this, we feel for aelin because of her loss.
aelin suffered survivor's guilt like a bitch. her parents, sam, nehemia, even what she imagined happened to aedion. her musings at the grave were a result of that. she saw him through rose colored lenses when she thought back on their memories. in tab, i feel like it's pretty clear that he was kind of a jerk. he had his moments, sure, but we saw more of them arguing and him being angry and resentful than we did any tender moments between them. she didn't even know he liked her until he was screaming it at her. and that says a lot. none of his actions leading up to that moment showed or told her that he had any feelings for her beyond toleration. speaking from personal experiences, when people die it's easier to look back on the good moments you shared with them, or the good parts of them, because you feel shitty and awful and gross otherwise. again, i'm not saying sam was an awful person, because he wasn't. but i don't think he was the pure little cinnamon roll half the fandom makes him out to be. when i read tab, i was excited to see more of their relationship because of what i saw other people say about sam and how aelin remembered him. but reading it, i was like, hey, he was kind of a jerk. and that's okay. a lot of it can be attributed to him being young, naive, and a dumb teenage boy. but based off of what people say and how aelin remembers him, you'd think he was the be all end all and just the sweetest little sweetheart to ever walk the earth, but he wasn't. i think her survivor's guilt had a lot to do with that. she wasn't remembering the bad things, the arguments, the fights. she was remembering the good things and seeing what could have been their future through rose colored lenses but i don't think it would have turned out well either way. i don't see them working long term. i think in a lot of ways he was similar to chaol, and i think she started to fall for chaol in the first place because he reminded her of sam, but that's something else entirely. but again, she's remembering all the good and not thinking so much of the bad. why would she? her life has been actual hell for years and years.
i could probably keep going, but i've been working on this for over an hour and there are other things i want to do tonight. but these are my thoughts! again, if you don't like it, or me, you don't have to follow me. you can even block me, and that's okay.
if there are any other hot takes you want my opinion on, let me know! i hope y'all have a good night/day wherever you are, complete with the sweetest of dreams.
Listen if your first real relationship wasn't an absolute whirlwind of "I love you" after three months, did u even date as am awkward teen? I mean remember, she is 16/17 when going through that. I think it's a pretty accurate first relationship!
that doesnât make it healthy. teenagers fall into unhealthy relationship patterns all the time. but thatâs just what it was. it was more of an infatuation and a love for the other person. i donât think it was that they were in love with each other, and again, it was a forced fondness out of lack of choices or control. and i certainly wouldnât say that anything about them was a whirlwind âi love you.â and i wouldnât even necessarily say itâs an accurate first relationship. chaol and aelin read more as a more accurate relationship to me. but this post wasnt about the accuracy of what itâs like to date for the first time or have your first real interest in someone. itâs about the toxicity that lies in that relationship, why it never would have worked out, why aelin and celaena are a single entity, and why she saw everything through such rose colored lenses.
Nothing about Aelin and Sam's relationship was typical. Their every interaction has been borne and influenced by the trauma and abuse they have endured. Heck, they only even know each other because they are both suffering the abuse of Arobynn. And it's not like they only knew each other for a few months and had a whirlwind teenage romance. They knew each other for years and she hated him for all of it, and he treated her really shity until suddenly he's confessing that he loves her. And then Arobynn told her he loved her, and only then did she run to Sam. It was a reaction to something else, to something unsafe that prompted her to go to him, not Sam himself. Aelin has been desperate for love and affection for years at that point, but she never considered Sam until after he dropped the L word , offering up what she craved on a platter, and Arobynn had creeped her out. Sam was literally the only safe option for she had to fill that void. But that doesn't mean she actually loved him. It's easy to convince yourself you're madly in love with someone if they're your only option.
Personally I never picked up a single vibe that Aelin was actually in love with him before he died. Which is why I'll never believe anything other than that she is romanticizing the memory of him and what he stood for (an escape), rather than having any true feelings of love for him. She loved the idea of him, but her grief and guilt blurred that distinction in her memory. And given that Arobynn only killed Sam because of her, if she didn't love him, then that would mean he died for nothing, wouldn't it?
But in my opinion, Samleana isnât worth the entire hype all over it?
Maybe my dislike was born from people saying that Sam was "Celaenaâs mate", that Aelin would choose Sam over Rowan if Sam was still alive because thatâs just⌠not true.
If Celeana was a person to herself, which she isnât, she would be human. Without a mate. And if she did have a mate, as much as I hate that, it would be Chaol. In my opinion he is the only man, other than Rowan, that she truly loved.
I donât think she really loved Sam. He showed her sympathy and a somewhat healthy interest after 8 years of her being groomed every single day, so she got interested in him. But I never felt⌠love? It was just, âoh, Sam likes me, I will kiss himâ
She did not trust him for her secret identity (may I add that she trusted Chaol more with it even if he was still loyal to the King?), she never fully trusted him as a whole. He was there and Iâm happy that Aelin had this little break from abuse, but there is no big love story
Also, I think it was @westofmoon who pointed that out, but Aelin has this little habit of only remembering the good things when someone she loved died. She never mentions again how Sam was also an asshole to her at the beginning (I donât call him abusive or shit, just that he isnât the little angel this fandom makes him?). She did the same with Nehemia, she never really got angry at how their friendship was a lie and she was manipulated.
I donât hate their relationship or anything, the only relationship I dislike in the series was Chaolaena đ but it kind of annoys me when people make it look like Sam was the big love of Aelinâs life and she went for Rowan as a last chance for happiness because Sam was dead, that is so untrue and undermining of the true bond between Rowan and Aelin
Just because Aelin wondered at one point if Sam was her mate doesnât make them soulmates or âright person, wrong timeâ. She also wondered if Chaol was her mate and it was two months before she went to Samâs grave. Aelin needed that sense of belonging a mate bond would give her, thatâs it. And Rowan was the one to give her that without even knowing and without a spoken mate bond
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Don't mind me, just crying cause I'm re-browsing through the books & realized in Heir of Fire when Aelin/Celaena says:
"Because I am lost," she whispered onto the earth. "And I do not know the way."
It was what she had never been able to tell Nehemia--that for ten years, she had been unsure how to find the way home, because there was no home left.
Her mother does not reply. That decades silent voice, calling her âFireheartâ asking why? Why does she cry? Suddenly just⌠stops?.. as Rowan enters.
Right after those words, Rowan enters.
Rowan, who calls her Fireheart (same as her mothers voice did when it began speaking to her).
Rowan, whose eyes are pine green eyes, with hair of silver; same as Terrasen (her homes) colors.
Storm winds and ice crackled against her skin before she registered Rowan sitting down beside her, legs out, palms braced behind him in the moss.
Rowan, who smells like snow; the very smell she recognizes as home.
She raised her head, but didn't bother to wipe her face as she stared across the glittering lake.
Rowan, who she immediately recognizes, who she knows without sight or sound (much like the voice); who she finds in the dark, like a star (a constellation) a compass (like the Lord of the North that always points home) & one that she recognizes just as easily, knowing where to find it in the sky even beyond her blurred tears.
Rowan, who is the embodiment of her home; even then. Soon to be in the Queen of Shadows days (before he even reaches her) sheâs reaching for him in the night. And as called in Kingdom of Ash when she is âsafeâ, when she is finally âhomeâ; in Terrasen or not. Her person that is described as âher way back to the lightâ⌠so she is no longer lost. â No, voice answered, because Rowan was the answer.
Written for Rowaelin Month, songfic day @rowaelinscourt
Sabrina Carpenter once said: âBreak my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete.â
Warnings: none I think? Some heavy petting but still safe for work lol
Words: 3,5k
Aelin Galathynius Seen At Football Game As Fans Continue To Wait For Album Release
âYou do know he wonât want you for more than a night, right?â Lysandra asked while Aelin looked for Rowan Whitethorn at the afterparty with hawk-like precision.
âI hope so, yes,â she replied.
Aedionâs groan was loud even with the clubâs music and hooting.
It shouldnât be this hard to find the team captain at a game afterparty, but looking for someone she didnât know in person wasnât the best thing to do at crowded, massive, and poorly-lit nightclub.
Rowan Whitethorn. All she knew were his piercing green eyes that made her memorize his face even through a picture, and that he was a player in and out of the field. His reputation preceded him. The only thing Aelin could judge him was for how hot he is, though the media diagnosed him as an âincorrigible womanizerâ while experts called him the greatest football player of this generation.
And most importantly, her ex-boyfriendâs favorite active athlete.
âAre you sure you want to keep up with this?â Aedion asked, glancing between her and the crowd. âYou werenât even that into Chaol.â
Aelin sipped her margarita and shrugged. âThis isnât about my feelings towards him, itâs about his disrespect towards me.â
She knew her cousin well enough to know that he wasnât comfortable leaving Aelin alone, half-drunk and mini-skirted at a bar filled with strangers, and Aedion knew her well enough to know she was carrying on with her plan anyway.
Lysandra proceeded to blabber about cultural differences between hot dogs from every country sheâs been in with Aelin for this last tour, and Aedion ate it up with rapt attention. Aelin, however, looked around in a way her friend saw right through, feigning boredom to search for the one person she was here for tonight.
She couldnât see everyoneâs faces, but she could easily see how the crowdâs pattern shifted like the Red Sea parting for someone with a presence as strong as a team captainâs. Aelin saw people move and heads turn before seeing the man himself, and thatâs how she found her target.
It was so easy to spot the difference between the moment he saw her from the moment he noticed herâa millisecond was enough to spot the blooming glint in the eyes of an archer whoâs just found his prey.
The look of womanizer whoâs just found a maneater in sheepâs clothing.
One, twoâa slow smileâthree, four. One polite tug and his gaze was drawn away, but she kept eye contact for long enough to get his attention.
âItâs done,â she told Lysandra and Aedion by the high bar table. Their reactions were much differentâone excited, the other reluctantâbut they knew it was their cue to leave.
Rowan knew where to find her, now all she had to do was wait. Aelin wasnât so desperate sheâd chase a man.
Her ex, Chaol, was never at these events to avoid his fatherâthe CFO of one of the companies that sponsored the White Hawksâbut that didnât mean he didnât love the sport. He watched every single game with Dorian, and Rowan Whitethornâs autograph had a special spot in his hallway, among other framed signed jerseys from his favorite athletes.
Yes, Aelin googled every single one from that wall. The list wasnât too big, and after crossing off every one that was dead or too old for her, the problematic ones, and the married ones⌠letâs say there was barely a list after what was supposed to be an initial selection, and she almost gave up on the plan. Aelin might be looking for someone to sleep with to get back at Chaol, but that didnât mean sheâd sleep with anyone just for the sake of revenge. Ew.
She got lucky that Chaolâs favorite athlete in their age group looked this cute.
One day, sheâs going steady with her three-month long situationship; the next, her publicist calls her in the middle of a family dinner to tell her Chaol was caught looking way too cozy with another girl. Theyâd never discussed exclusivity in their relationship, so something they couldâve figured out in a conversation turned into something bigger because he was stupid enough to be photographed.
And if Aelinâs humiliation was public, Chaolâs payback would be too.
A hand on Aelinâs shoulder caught her attentionâit was meant to only call her attention, but now the man kept a steady grasp on her that slid down to her elbow.
A pair of dark brown eyes assessed her with curiosity. âAelin Galathynius,â he said, eyes now trailing down to the long stretch of exposed skin of her legs.
Aelin yanked her elbow back and was about to ask who this creep was, but didnât get to it.
âCairn.â She heard the name in a deep voice, but didnât see his mouth move. A hand reached his shoulder from behind, and another manâthe man she was looking forâstepped into their circle. He was even more magnetic up close.
âWhat.â Cairn said to his captain, terse.
âCoach wants to talk to you.â
âIs it about that foul?â
âGotta ask him, man.â
Cairn gave Aelin one last look, then sighed and left offâresigned yet pissed.
Rowan took his time, alcohol-free beer in hand while he maintained a steady presence by her side. In that moment, Aelin decided that photoshop and celebrity takes did him no favors.
From the line between his brows the magazines smoothed out to that look he gave his teammateânot a disappointed-yet-resigned one with the politeness publicists groomed into public personas, but the look of a man who knew what he wanted, and wasnât above bypassing his teammate in order to get it. The person she saw online was a polished version of the little part of the man she met now, and Aelin just happened to like him best rougher around the edges.
âDid he?â she said.
âDid he what?â
âDid Gavriel want to talk to him?â
Rowan smirked. Took a slow sip of his drink. âThe thing about Coach Gavâif one of his players is there to listen, he always has an advice to give.â
He might as well have said ânoâ. Though he didnât have toâeven if Aelin wasnât focused on taking Whitethorn to bed tonight, that Cairn personâs vibes were all off, she wouldnât have given him any attention either way.
âIâm Rowan.â
âI know.â She giggled. âIf Iâm crashing a game afterparty, I should at least know the captainâs name.â
Not exactly crashing, since every man in her family was usually invited to this kind of sports thing, but this definitely wasnât her scene.
âI think thereâs a 50/50 chance youâre someone I should know,â he said with an apologetic expression.
She never found this offensive. When a good portion of the world was bombarded with Aelinâs name whether they want it or not, finding someone oblivious to her existence was somewhat refreshing.
âIâm Aelin.â
âAelin,â he trailed with a faraway look in his eye. âAelin, Aelin, AelinâŚâ The turning engines inside his head were clear as day until it clicked. âAelin! From that Yulemas special, right?â
Aelin burst out laughing. She had been lucky enough throughout her career that none of her work could ever be called a âflopâ, but that Yulemas special was the closest thing she had to it. The show was good enough and so was the viewership, but letâs say she did not sign up for another one the next year.
âWhatâs so funny?â He asked with a confused, but mostly amused look.
âYouâre the first person I meet that knows me because of that Yulemas special, thatâs all.â
Rowan ducked his chin, and Aelin was sure that blush on his cheek was just the strobe lights tricking her eyes. âI donât really keep up with social media, or celebrity stuff⌠or anything that isnât work, actually. But my cousins put that show on every Yulemas dinner.â
Aelin grinned. âThatâs sweet.â
He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself because the song shifted to something even louder, and the crowd erupted in cheers. When it subsided, he leaned closer and said, âCan I take you to a booth upstairs?â
Aelin reared back to read his face. âJust a booth?â she asked with one brow quirked up.
âJust a private booth.â
A slow smirk danced on her lips. âLead the way, then.â
Rowan pointed to the general direction they were going and trailed behind her, but his hand found her back and stayed there when he noticed the sets of eyes following Aelin around the clubâmarking his territory.
However, they came to an abrupt stop when one of his teammates quite literally ran their way.
âRowie!â Moonbeam shouts, trying to get Rowanâs attention. âDâyou have spare pants?â
The man stared, motionless. âWhat?â
His teammate turned around and pointed at the ripped seam on his bottom that exposed his underwear. âGot an extra pair or not?â
âHow in hell did youââ
âItâs the DJâs fault!â
Partying too hard, then. Aelin didnât know Fenrys Moonbeam personally, but he was known to keep it as classy as a wannabe D-lister at their first Grammy afterpartyâexcept he was a world-class athlete.
The manâs eyes widened when he finally noticed Aelin, and he pointed at his butt again and said, âCan you sew this for me?â
âDude.â Rowan cut him off, eyes hard as steel.
âWhat?â
âSeriously?â
âWhat did I do?â
âThatâs fucking sexist, man.â
Fenrys gaped. He looked between her and Rowan, then flailed his arms in an empty gesture, fumbling to articulate himself. âI didnât just see a chick and ask her to sew, she went to fashion school!â
Rowan blinked, then sent her a confused look.
âI did,â Aelin said between giggles. âFind me a thread and needle and Iâll fix it.â
Fenrys went off with his new quest, and Rowan took her upstairs. When Aelin asked him about his friend finding them again, he just grumbled something about âthe boyoâ always finding him whether Rowan wants it or not.
The private booths were much more comfortableâwith softer music and table service, the atmosphere was quite different from the dance floorâs madness.
âI really need to write a new single if the Yulemas show and fashion school is what Iâm being referenced for these days,â Aelin said after they were settled.
Rowan oh-so-smoothly sneaked his arm around her. âThatâs what youâre doing now? Writing?â
âWriting feels like a too-strong word for what Iâm doing now,â she said with a slight grimace. âLetâs say Iâm torturing my piano while my manager sends me contacts to write it all for me and get the album out in time.â
He frowned. âCan you do that? Hire other people to write it for you, I mean.â
Aelin laughedâshe didnât mean to, it just tore out of her. He was so oblivious to her line of work, it was endearing.
Rowan just picked another one of his alcohol-free beer, not seeming to be offended about her reaction. âThatâs also public knowledge Iâm clueless about, isnât it?â
Aelin bit her lower lip and gave him an amused look that hopefully was answer enough. Then held both hands up and said, âLook, all I know about football is that the ball goes in the goal, and I look cute in your teamâs colors. Nothing else.â She tapped the side of her head. âNada.â
âThat canât be true.â His face was an inch closer to hers now.
âMaybe I need some teaching,â she whispered, eyes trailing from his eyes to his lips.
This. This is where he slips. This is how Aelin finds the first red flag before he lured her into his lips. Because red flags are the trail of breadcrumbs she leaves to not lose herself in a man, and she needed them more than anything now that she was enjoying herself too much for a revenge plan. Please, big hot guy, please mansplain to me your favorite sport.
Instead, he held her neckâthe goosebumps down her body were due to the cold temperature, she was sureâand murmured back, âBut I doubt you want to learn now.â
Oh, shit. Before her mind even registered it, she held his cheek and tugged his lips into hers, the soft feel of his pillowyâ
âRowie!â They heard Fenrys before he was in their sight, kiss brokenâhalf-kiss, actually. The man sighed when he found their booth and plopped on the seat next to Aelin, sandwiching her between the two players.
âTurns out management keeps an emergency sewing kit,â he said, baffled. âCan you believe it?â
âI really canât,â Rowan grumbled.
âNow if you excuse me⌠Aelin, could youâŚ?â Fenrys trailed, pointing at the wall.
She complied and stared at the wall until granted permission to look back. When she did, Fenrys held his pants with one hand and a towel around his hips with another.
She grabbed the piece of clothing and did a quick work of it. Her days of fashion school were long gone, but muscle memory got her on it like time wasnât even a thing.
Rowan still looked a bit grumpy about Fenrysâ intrusion, but she didnât blame him. They kinda got cockblocked, but Whitethornâs was kinda doing it for her.
âHow did you even know she went fashion school?â he asked.
It was public knowledge about her, but the kind not even the casual fans knew. And if Rowan was asking, his teammate must not be a die-hard fan.
Fenrys smirked at Aelin. âI memorize a few random facts about you to impress the ladies.â
Aelin chuckled and playfully rolled her eyes. She knew this move existed, but no one that used it had been so bold to say it to her face.
She handed the pair of pants back to Fenrys, and kept her eyes closed while he put it back on and blabbered something about his brother mocking him forever after this.
âI think we all will, Boyo,â Rowan said. âNow get lost.â
âThanks, Aelin!â he said with a salute on his way out. âIâm streaming your next album so hardâitâll be another #1!â
Aelin groaned and sagged back on her seat, but only Rowan was there to see it.
âAre you really triggered by any mention of your next album?â
She shrugged. âNah, just being dramatic.â Aelin put her hands on his shoulders, slowly so sheâd feel his pecs on her way up. âBut Iâd feel better if you didnât speak at all.â
His lips met hers for another kiss, and it tore into her bloodstream like discovering a new favorite melody, his mouth on hers as he tilted her head to taste her better. Aelin ran her fingers through the short strands of his hair while Rowan tugged her body closer, ran his fingers over the exposed skin of her legs.
A miniskirt wasnât the most practical attire, but it did prevent her from being stupid sometimesâif it wasnât for the looming threat of accidentally flashing the whole VIP section of the club, Aelin would be in Rowanâs lap by now.
Rowan grabbed the hair by her nape to allow him space on her neck, and Aelin just shut her eyes closed to let that man and his wicked mouth draw every shiver he wanted out of her. With his hands on her body and his lips on her neck, she let her guard down and allowed him something she rarely gave other menâconsent to play her like his favorite instrument, walls as down as her panties if this was his way of taking control.
His trail of kisses went upwards, from her collarbone to her ear. âI was thinkingââ
âYouâre really hot and all, but I donât sneak into club bathrooms.â
The low rumble of his throat as he chuckled was so sinful Aelin felt it between her thighs. âI donât drink Dom PĂŠrignon in plastic cups, baby.â Rowan whispered, his breath fanning her ear in a maddening way. âAnd I like to savor itâlet the taste linger on my tongue.â
All her thoughts vanished. Aelin only had half a mind to ask, âYou drive?â
Sheâd come with Aedion, wherever he is now.
âSure,â he said. âLet me justâŚâ Rowan grabbed a napkin to remove the lipstick that was supposed to be kiss-proofâit did a better job than most, but it still smudge his cupidâs bow and bottom lip.
âThatâs Pat McGrath, babe. Youâll need it surgically removed.â
Rowan frowned. âPat McAfee?â
Their exit was quite different from when they entered the VIP section. Rowanâs possessive-yet-polite grasp on her fully left the latter part, greedily taking hold of her on their way out. He also brushed aside two teammates that sought him, likely afraid of being interrupted by them like Moonbeam did.
The valet was already outside with his car when Rowan noticed the paparazzi outside. He looked at them and back at Aelin, brows furrowed in thought.
âI usually just go,â he said, sounding unsure. âWhat do you usuallyâ what do you want me to do?â
âIâm a big girl. Letâs do this.â Aelin squared her shoulders and quickly fixed her hair.
The flashes were a dizzying contrast to the clubâs dark ambience, but Rowan kept her steady with one hand protectively on her back, trying and failing to shield her from the onslaught of cameras.
He opened the passenger door for her and ran to the driverâs side, and soon the madness faded out, leaving just the two of them and the soft music on the radio.
As the mood settled and the city lights became blurs around them, it dawned on Aelin that she was about to be unwrapped, bended and spread out by a man who was too dreamy for his own goodâthe worst kind in the long run.
What was she doing? Aelin wasnât even the one-night stand typeâshe wasnât used to long relationships either, but that wasnât the point. The âincriminatingâ pictures of her with Rowan were taken and out soon, and Chaolâwhose existence she completely forgot aboutâwould be pissed already.
Aelin steadied herself for what she was about to do, red flag on the floor for him to pick up and wave once she did it.
âI have a counteroffer.â
âDo tell.â
âYou drop me off at my apartment on Goldryn St, and Iâll see you around.â
If Rowan was pissed or offended, he didnât show. Instead, he quickly studied her expression, a bit confused, but once her face didnât waver, he gave his car screen a pointed look and asked her to type her address in the GPS.
Aelin did vow that she would never settle for anything less than a green flag collector, she didnât know why it was so unsettling to see one live.
Not that she would settle anytime soon, it was just something that crossed her mind.
Even if she was willing to have a fling with Rowan, she didnât regret turning him down tonight. If a man wasnât willing to chase a girl he fancied, what was he chasing in life?
The car pulled up at the buildingâs entrance, empty except for the doorman by the glass doors. No paps in sight.
Rowanâs jaw fell. âThis is too peaceful, even for a spare home.â
âThatâs actually my dadâs apartment, for when he has a late work night and doesnât feel like making the drive home.â
No doubt Aelinâs own home would be absolute mayhem after tonight, thatâs why her dad left his safe haven at her disposal.
âYour dadâŚ?â
âHeâs in politics.â
Rowanâs face contorted into a grimace, earning him a laugh from her.
âBut we donât wanna ruin our goodbyes by talking politics, do we?â she said.
âAbsolutely not.â
Rowan jumped from his seat and circled his car to open the passenger door for her and gave her a hand to help her stand up. Except he didnât let go. He kept her hand gently yet firmly clutched to his and brought it to his lips, giving her knuckles a chivalrous kiss while his eyes looked borderline devilish.
âIâll see you around?â he asked, repeating her exact words from the âcounterofferâ.
She grinned. âIâll see you around.â
Aelin walked the few steps to the building, but stopped before the front door and turned to take a glimpse of him. Rowan stayed leaned against his car, arms crossed while he waited for her to walk in.
She wiggled her fingers at him over her shoulder with a sweet smile and watched his serene grin turn sly.
Aelin saw right through his chivalry, the dangerous promise hidden beneath looking near transparent to her eyes.
Aelin Galathynius Watches With Rowan Whitethorn Play Amid Chaol Westfall Breakup Rumors
Aelin Galathyniusâ Fans Spot âLipstick Smudgeâ On Rowan Whitethorn After White Hawksâ Afterparty
Rowan Whitethorn Follows Aelin Galathynius On Instagram After Rendezvous With The Singer!
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Rowaelin Month Day Five: A Bad Date @rowaelinscourt
Link to my Rowaelin Month Masterlist
~3K wordsâwelcome to clichĂŠ hell. Enjoy your stay.
.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
The Words We Share--Part One
Sam Cortland was the absolute definition of asshole and Aelin Galathynius could make her point in three simple facts. He didnât tip well. He spoke for her. And he consistently forgot when they had dinner plans.
Which was how Aelin found herself sitting at a table alone at one of the nicest restaurants in the city trying not to look at the final roll sitting in the bread basket. Sheâd already scarfed down the other three, she really shouldnât eat the third. Especially not now as she could catch the looks her waitress and others were passing her way. Sheâd at least only gone through one glass of wine and was nursing a water.
Aelin would have owned up to the idea of eating alone, she was a confident woman--she didnât need anyoneâs validation. By now, it was too late. Nearly an hour had passed since sheâd been seated and sheâd told her waitress she was waiting for someone else. That combined with the fact that she look sexy as hell with a tight green dress, her hair perfectly curled and her make up sharper and neater than any awards show actress.
Sheâd have to live up to the fact that sheâd been stood up.
Hell.
She wished she could say this was the first time Sam had done this. Wished she could say that he would make it up to her later. Wished she could say that it didnât really bother her.
Aelin glanced at her phone. One missed text but that was from Elide.
>>Elide: anything?
<<Aelin: no. I texted him twice. Itâs been forty-five mins. Iâve well and good passed the pathetic mark.
>>Elide: ur not pathetic. Imma report his insta for porn hold on
Aelin rolled her eyes at the message. Elide had been her friend since college when they were first paired together on a project. It had turned into a mess of over caffeination and potential misuse of school property but theyâd been inseparable ever since. It was Elide who had helped Aelin get the job she had now with Terrasen Publishing as a content creator. She had a full social media platform where she could share books, reviews and all the likes. She even hosted the company's podcast on a bi-weekly basis.Â
As far as Aelin was concerned, she was successful. She was capable. She was well on her way to reaching so many of her goals.
Sam, it seemed, couldnât care less about her.
This was supposed to be a dinner to celebrate her promotion. Dorian, the actual CEO of the company had allowed her to open her own department as Lead Content Creator. Sheâd be her own manager, get a pay-raise, have more liberties with what she could do, get an office credit card, hell sheâd be able to hire her own assistant. Sheâd told Sam she wanted to celebrate by coming here to her favorite restaurant no matter how expensive it was. Sheâd worked so hard to get here after all.
And how here she wasâalone.
She knew Sam was busy, he was a lawyer after all, but after nearly eight months of dropping everything for him, sheâd thought he would give her just one night. One night for her.
Aelin felt tears begin to prick that back of her eyes and had never been more grateful for the dim lighting of this restaurant. Hopefully no one would see the silver lining her eyes, the growing flush of embarrassment to her skin. Â
It was made all the worse when Aelin noticed a familiar person walking towards her. Someone she wanted to see even less than she wanted to admit that Sam was standing her up.
Hell.
Kaltain Rompier had been hired after Aelin by a few months and ever since decided she was the one who should be in charge of everything in the office. To the point of undermining and condescending everything Aelin did. In the end, Aelin was the one with the promotion and the office but Kaltain still made her life a living hell any chance she got.
âAelin,â Kaltain crooned as she came to the table. And it wasnât even to give a brief pass by, no, Kaltain had a look of feral delight gleaming in her black eyes and Aelin could feel the attack coming. âWhat a surprise to see you here.â
Behind Kaltain was her date, a man Aelin had never seen before and average enough looking. He didnât seem to be even paying attention to the drama Kaltain was eager to whip out.
âKaltain.â Aelin offered one of her own beaming smiles in return. Despite the tension radiating through her body, she was determined to be civil. She would not stoop to the other womanâs level. She would not stoop.
Kaltain didnât bother waiting for the kill. âAll alone tonight?â
Her full red lips pouted sympathetically, but Aelin had spent enough time around the woman to know how much delight she was taking in Aelinâs potential misery and embarrassment.
She could lieâher date was in the bathroom. She could own up to eating alone. On a Friday night. At the hottest restaurant in Terrasen. She could use Aedion as a scapegoat and have him come by the office on Monday and make a big show ofâ
âSorry Iâm late,â a deep, accented voice cut through Aelinâs wall panic as a giant, stupidly attractive man slid between Kaltain and Aelinâs table. âTraffic was impossible tonight.â
Aelin stared up slack jawed at her savior.
Rowan Whitethorn in all his glory stood before her. His silver hair was coiffed back out of his face, chin riddled with stubble, and a black suit that fit his broad frame perfectly. His green eyes gave her a significant look, one brow raised meaningfully.
Aelin pulled herself together and let out a relaxed, charmed laugh. At least she hoped thatâs what it sounded liked because this was Rowan Whitethorn. The companyâs biggest author. One of the most sought-after writers at conventions who had multiple Hollywood deals piling at his feet.
He was also the biggest ass Aelin had ever worked with.
âLetâs hope you're not this late for your next deadline,â she said, voice light and easy. Or as close to it as possible. But Aelin could see a muscle tick in Rowanâs jaw and watched as a smirk drew across his face. Savior of the night or not, she wanted to punch him.
âOf course not, sweetheart,â Rowan drawled, his thick Scottish accent low and hard. âWe know how punctual you are.â
âItâs a good quality to have,â she said. She narrowed her eyes to which Rowan grinned. He was insufferable. An ass. Arrogant. Andâ
Rowan flicked a lazy look at Kaltain. âWas there something you needed Kaltain?â
The dismissal was clear and left no room for argument. It was such a fascinating sight to see Kaltain at a loss for words that Aelin forgot her disdain for Rowan. Kaltain had always been a busy body around the office, always gossiping and looking for a way to undermine everyone else as long as she came out on top.
âIâll see you tomorrow, Aelin,â Kaltain said, her cold eyes cutting into Aelin. And with that, she turned away with her date.
It was far too satisfying watching them go. Even Aelin had to admit that. Though, sheâd be damned if she admitted so to Rowan.
She finally, reluctantly, turned her attention to him. Â
He leaned in his chair looking utterly at ease with himself and the situation. With his features as stoney and impossible to read as ever it would appear the last five minutes hadnât even occurred. But Aelin could see the subtle gleam in his eyes. Sharp and calculating like a hawk.
Sheâd had five years to get to know him, he was Terrasenâs biggest client and sheâd been the one to personally promote his first book on her review blog, not to mention act as a beta reader for early drafts of his work.
He was talented. Remarkable even. Sheâd never seen anyone wield a metaphor or create an image as he could. It was a shame they hated each other.
It had started innocently enough. In her critiques early on, Aelin hadnât held back. Sheâd given the early drafts of his manuscriptâs hell. She wouldnât apologize for it. Wouldnât he want his book to be the best it could? To have enough feedback to work with and accept or decline? Hell, he didnât even have to take most of her opinions if he didnât want to, but she was on the team of readers.
Well, he hadnât taken well to most of her words and Aelin found a giant box of red pens waiting on her desk one morning from him.
Seems like you ran out last week.
Asshole.
She didnât hold back though. Not at all.
Between overly marked up pages, passive aggressive notes, and blissful ignoranceâtheyâd never known harmony in all their time of working together. The closest theyâd gotten was in the last seven months while Rowan was finishing up a new manuscript and had avoided the office all together. Â
Aelin could hardly admit it to herself, but it had been a strange few months. Sheâd found herself looking up to catch a glimpse of him in the hallway in all that time. She hated herself just a little for it.
âWhat do you want, Whitethorn?â she asked, she did her best not to glare, knowing their table was in direct line of sight of where Kaltain was now sitting.
Rowan raised a brow as he leaned forward and took Aelinâs wine glass. He took a long sip, never breaking eye contact.
âThatâs the thanks I get?â he asked, accent a low rumble that Aelin could feel straight in her belly. âBy my accounts, I saved you from a rather embarrassing conversation.â
Aelin raised her chin. âKaltain is harmless.â
Rowan only grinned. âOh, aye?â
âItâs nothing I canât handle,â Aelin insisted.
âSheâs never been an easy person and I doubt my time away has changed anything,â Rowan said. He spoke with such sincerity that Aelin could only stare at him.
In her silence, the waitress came back by their table with a new glass of wine for Rowan. The bastard then went ahead and ordered for her.
âWhat are you doing?â she demanded.
âWeâre on a date, are we not?â he asked.
âNot.â She stared at him; his eyes sharp even in the low lights of the restaurant. His tattoos peaked out beneath the collar of his shirt. Sheâd never seen them in their full glory and now really wished she could see just a little bit more.
âShame,â Rowan sighed. He glanced idly into the bread basket and took the one remaining roll for himself. âI really was going to pay.â
Aelin sighed and leaned back in her chair. As she looked at him, she tried to understand what he was trying to accomplish with this. Heâd chased off Kaltain and saved her from feeling like a foolâŚbut why?
Theyâd always played a game like this--one of touch and go, of give and take, of hate and hate some more. Â
She decided to try and approach this from another direction.
âWhat are you even doing here?â she asked, fingering the stem of her own wine glass.
That grin of his returned, a flash, but impossible to miss. Aelin tried to reel herself in. She couldnât let him rile her up like this.
âWas out with some friends.â He nodded to the bar behind her.
Aelin turned in her seat, catching sight of two other men, one with curly blond hair and the other with a cut of shaggy black hair. The blond gave her an enthusiastic wave when he saw her looking. Aelin scowled.
âWe were celebrating my finishing another book and getting Havilliards seal of approval,â Rowan explained, drawing Aelinâs attention back. âAnd I saw you sitting by yourself when Kaltain showed up. I know the two of you donât really get along.â
And how long did you wait before stepping in? She wanted to ask. But she knew she wouldnât want the answer. Heâd probably been there since the beginning watching as she slowly spun into madness.
She glanced at her phone but didnât touch it. It hadnât lit up or vibrated or given any indication that anyone was worried about her. She tried to not let it sting. A full hour at this point. Maybe she should break it off with Sam. Officially this time.
âI figured youâd rip my head off if I came over sooner,â Rowan continued, his voice softening just a touch. âFigured it was none of my business.â
Aelin didnât need his pity, didnât want it either. âYeah, well itâs not.â
He didnât get the chance to respond as the waitress returned with their food. A steak for Rowan, salmon for Aelin. Exactly what she would have wanted for herself, even with the side of risotto.
Her stomach growled just loud enough that Rowan definitely heard. She grabbed her fork and started eating. Angrily.
They ate in silence for a few minutes before Aelin pointed her fork at him.
âNew book have a title?â she asked.
âWhy would you care?â
âSo I can figure out all the puns to call it on my podcast,â she said.
Rowan smirked. âIâm on your podcast now?â
âYou? No. Your book? Sure.â She took another bite of salmon and sighed. âItâs more fun that way.â
âRight,â he said. ââCourse.â
She watched him as he cut his steak, medium rare, and dredged it in a bit of peppercorn sauce. He wasnât at all uncomfortable with the act they found themselves in. Not at all concerned over the fact that his friends were leaving (Aelin couldnât help but check). He was focused on her.
She didnât know how she felt about that.
âSo, the book?â
He paused before shrugging just barely. âNothing special. Ancient weaponry and the likes. Youâll hate it.â
Aelin rolled her eyes. Rowan had written several historical nonfiction novels surrounded with ancient lore, weaponry, and conspiracies. It all seemed interesting when you thought about it--but Aelin loved the fantasy. She loved the whimsy. The strange. And while Rowan's books were well written and captivating, they never quite captured her.
âAre you finally going to write a book about kilts? You said you would.â She couldnât help but smile at that. His first book had been a look into early Scottish history, connecting the Old Language and how it shaped fairy tales and other shared stories. She told him it needed more kilts; heâd told her it wasnât that kind of book.
Ever since, the same question had been asked.
âNot this time,â Rowan said, returning the smile.
âShame,â Aelin said, âI would have given you an excellent review.â
The rest of dinner progressed in somewhat amicable silence. They only exchanged a few words about what the next few weeks would look like for Rowanâs new manuscript. And Aelin of course ordered a slice of chocolate cheesecake to go.
When the waitress returned with the bill, Rowan swept up the little black book and deposited his credit card all before Aelin could ask for a split bill.
She raised a brow in silent questioning.
âI told ye Iâd pay,â he said, accent slipping just a bit deeper than he usually allowed it. Something flashed in his eyes that kept Aelin from arguing further. Â
So she allowed him to pay for the meal, which couldnât have been cheap, and help her stand and put on her jacket.
It wasnât until they were outside in the warm summer night that Aelin stepped away from him, eyes narrowed. She fully expected him to turn back to the grumpy old writer sheâd always seen him as, but as she took him in she noted that smoldering look remained in his eyes. Â
The sun was close to setting, casting them both in the soft golden light of dusk. Despite how it was nearing nine, it was still warm. Though, Aelin felt more than just the lingering effects of the summer heat rolling through her. Â
She had no idea what to make of the last hour with Rowan. No idea what to make of the look that he still held her with.
âYouâre going to give me hell tomorrow, arenât you?â he asked.
Aelin grinned, she couldnât help it. âOh, I guarantee it.â
Sheâd be lying if she said she hadnât missed this subtle game of theirs. The verbal sparring had been the only thing getting her through the work day on most occasions. He was aggravating, certainly, but the only one who hadnât dismissed her, who would take her shit and return it just the same.Â
Rowan flagged down a cab for her and opened the door for her, resting a hand on the small of her back. The action was so unlike anything sheâd experienced before. All the other men sheâd dated, or known casually, would have simply left her on the side of the road to flag her own cab or just toss her in the cab and be done with it.
Aelin remembered her dad treating her mom well and how he would always open her doors, make sure she was taken care of, buy flowers and chocolatesâŚbut then Rhoe had died. It had been ten years since the accident, but Aelin would never forget the kind of man heâd been.
âThank-you,â she said. She even managed to muster up a sincere smile, even knowing that as soon as the cab pulled away, sheâd be lamenting over the embarrassment at being stood up and found out by Rowan Whitethorn.
His expression was unreadable even as he made sure she was tucked into the back of the cab. Then he leaned in, close enough that she could see the cool green of his eyes.
âWhoever stood you up is an idiot, Galathynius.â He pulled back before she could respond and shut the door firmly before patting the top of the cab.
The cabbie shot off into the street before Aelin could even register Rowanâs words.
.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Tag are not working đ please reblog! It would mean so much!
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