Wilderness Calling

I like to call my chickens “beasties” or “fat little monster trucks” and other such affectionate terms, but dad seems to take offence whenever I do and always gently refers to them as “the girls,” “the ladies” and sometimes “the dames” when he’s putting them away, like he’s a butler shepherding a group of well-bred country lasses into the parlour for tea 

this post evokes such a pleasing mental image that my depression was completely cured for 5 and a half minutes

what kind of snake is this

A vicious one

letting my mom watch queer eye was a mistake. she just walked into my room, pointed at some clothes on my floor and said “hey. what would tan say about this???” and i just shuffled over to pick them up like a sad child cause i would want tan france to be proud of me :( fuck :(

Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head

I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.

Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!

squad

we dem b o y z

THAT LAST LIKE .01 SECOND

OH MY G OD

The artist is luo li rong

The statue doesn’t have big enough titties to have been made by a man.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but the schadenfreude is too delicious.

“Dork ass losers”

OK not only do I think she’s a sorceress but now I have a massive crush on her

*comes across a slight inconvenience* me: you know what would solve this ????? death

They never had a chance

what happened in 1845?

That’s not the year, that’s his kill streak.

this is what living in the midwest is like and the corn screams back sometimes

this fucking never fails to make me laugh