Gender? I barely even know er!

I’ve tried a few porn games, but all they have such bad user design. so like one of the games was a platformer, I thought okay, I used to play mario, this’ll be no problem. WRONG. I couldn’t even get through the first level. two straight hours of missing the same jumps and near sobbing about it. at what point am I supposed to get horny? I can’t even reach the naked demon lady because I CANNOT! MAKE! THE JUMPS! so I try another game about seducing milfs. you need to clean the milf’s house to make her like you. okay, I have limited energy per in-game day, so I vacuum her house, I tidy her magazines, I clean her dishes, I go to sleep. this repeats for days. the milf still doesn’t like me. why?? I’ve spent real hours of my life vacuuming her digital floor. why won’t the milf fall in love with me? what am I doing? what am I doing?

I be like ''lord'' ''god'' ''jesus christ'' and the mfs dont even mean anything to me

[image description: side by side drawings of Taako and Lup, skinny East Asian twin elves with medium complexions and long braided hair. Taako’s hair is blonde and he’s wearing a green wizard hat, light green wrap-style top over a long sleeve dark green shirt, light pants and tall boots. He’s making a peace sign and winking, bending one knee and casting energy out of his umbrastaff at the viewer. The background is neon green. Lup’s hair is dark brown and she’s wearing a red sleeveless robe over black biker shorts. She’s jumping into the air in a fighting stance, arms crossed and one leg bent. She’s grinning at the viewer and there’s a gap between her two front teeth. She’s casting a small ball of energy between her pinkie and index finger on one hand, and casting fire out of a wand she’s holding in the other.]

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

I genuinely believe that the new SW trilogy wouldn’t have flopped out into irrelevance like it did if they hadn’t dumped Finn on the side of the freeway like a new pet rabbit the week after easter

Anyway in my heart Finn became a Jedi alongside Rey and inspired a Stormtrooper insurrection and Kyle Ron went back to his mom like he should have day fucking one and that angry redhead dude blew up with the star destroyer and Poe got to make it happen and at the end Rey doesn’t give a shit who her bitch ass non-palpatine parents might have been because she gets her new family like she needed and palpatine stays dead at the bottom of his musty hole like he should have and Finn and Poe give each other approximately 130% the amount of lingering meaningful looks and then one of their run-together-to-reunite moments results in a heat-of-the-moment make out like it should have and Luke and Leia meet in person a minimum of once so she can sibling slap him at least once for being a useless dramatic old hermit for a billion years and tell him to get the Chanel boots back on and stop being a sad hobo and then for no reason at all there is an ewok style moon of Endor forest party at the end like God intended

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

Women hate it when you kill their dog. Come to think of it, so do men and non-binary folk. Honestly it might not be a gendered thing

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal