Neutral Swoon

So often we say “I have no idea who I am anymore” when we mean “I have every idea who I am now and I promise it’s everything but this.”

I’m going mad again, I do not mean the sort of mad that comes from being indoors too long or from what the privileged call “boredom, ennui” and the like. This is something that embodies a monstrous clock, hanging low in the sky— a sheet of sallow skin stretched over a disc and Roman numerals that appear like jagged scars on flesh. The arm that counts the seconds is emaciated and curved inward as though it had spent a lifetime holding onto something precious. It is a fleck, an inexplicable indent past the nasal cavity that if noticed will drive one to end the whole world.

Selling heirloom diamond & opal earrings for help with my scleral shell cost. Message me for details.