I Am Your Leader

Came on here to express my frustrations w Twitter. Can’t say shit on there

Anxiety makes it hard to meet people, but the loneliness depresses me. I actually I have no one physically close to me. People to talk to but no one to actually hang out and be happy with. Hard times seem easier when you’re surrounded by love. I feel like I’m surrounded by empty darkness my sadness echos and echoes to me but no one else hears it. Like white noise for everyone else but crippling screeching to me. And when I do meet people they never get to know me for real bc I’ve learned not to share my real feelings or they’ll run. No one can ever just listen and hope things get better, or stick around. They run bc they’re scared to fill that void. But I don’t want to just fill the void. I want actual relationships (friends, romance, friendly neighbors, etc) not “fillers.” Not people here for a season. While we do need seasonal people, I would love to find someone that can stick w me for the long run. Create happy memories with me. But until then, I lay in darkness, every once in a while finding a light that will eventually dim. Once again leaving me in the dark. A cycle that repeats again and again until I get to the paradise that is death.