Say your goodbyes, LardAss, because you're already deadAAAAAAAAA

it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

I've seen hundreds - maybe even thousands - of images over the years. and so i've become somewhat of an expert on the topic

accidentally spilled everything thats ever existed on the floor

I’m not gonna lie very little has been going according to keikaku these days

[steals your baby immediately after his birth][raises him][trains him in the ways of an ancient martial art invented by cormorant fishers in 700 ad for 13 years][enters him in a tournament][he loses in 4 rounds] ok whatever. you can have him back

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

time may age me but one thing has been true since i was 7. i fucking LOVE looking at pitures on the computer

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

me when i get one (1) note on tumblr dot com from my beloved mutuals: they lovme❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏😭😭❤️❤️😁😁😁😁😁✨️✨️☝️☝️☝️☝️😁😁👅👅👅👅👅👅👅💜💜💜💗❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🫂🫂🫂🫂i love them 😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜 f ried n