Adam Cole

I’m excited to see your upcoming movies. Also, do you have a secret to this whole never ageing thing you seem to be a master at? I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the last two months, and you’re still looking the same? Is there a skin cream? Do you have access to like, magical de-ageing powers? Can I buy those powers on eBay? Clearly my New Years plans are going to be spent trying to figure this out. You?

Have we as a society progressed beyond the need for New Year’s resolutions, or are we still clinging to those dying dreams? I’ve been given plenty of suggestions by my loving family, ranging from becoming an art snob and putting something other than paint on my walls, moving to France and learning how to make crepes right from the source, and doing the whole newly-divorced woman thing by chopping all my hair off or going red. Quite frankly, I think it’ll be a miracle if I get the tree down before February. How about you all? Got any big plans for the New Year, or are we still coming down off the holidays to even entertain thoughts of 2021? Also, hi, I’m Jennifer, and no, I can’t fire the bow and arrow anymore. I’ve really let myself go. Disappointing, I know. ( @hfrpstarters​ )

In fairness, the idea of one specific point of the year being dedicated to self improvement is a bit silly, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we be striving towards that throughout the year? Also, genuinely disappointed about the bow and arrow. I was really hoping I could ask you to intimidate a bunch of mice that keep sneaking into my house. I hear they respond really well to bow and arrow threats. I assume you can at least still turn blue, like in the X-Men Films? That’s gotta be real, right?? I don’t have any New Years plans though. I’ll probably fall asleep before midnight, because I’m perpetually tired. How about you? 

@hfrpstarters​

I’m hoping to make some resolutions, myself. Really hard hitting one’s too. Like learning how to grow money on the trees out my back garden. I’ve tried clipping $50 bills onto the branches with washing line pegs, to see if it’ll trigger it, but we’ll have to wait and see. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Other than that though, I guess the usual, try be more optimistic and less self deprecating? My Christmas was nice though, I spent it watching Wonder Woman 1984 on HBO Max. Great film! You should check it out, I know I recognise that lead actress from somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it! ..... I don’t know about new, but if you haven’t watched the Good Place, you should. That show’s beautiful. 

Adam Cole is trying to be optimistic, okay? He’s trying! HE’S JUST TRYING TO KEEP HIS SHIT TOGETHER, OKAY?

Oh, hold on. I think there’s only one person who can do it. And I have it on good authority that she’s already taken.  😇