if itâs meant for me, I will have it. if it isnât, Iâm prepared to receive something even better.

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@acupofelizabest
if itâs meant for me, I will have it. if it isnât, Iâm prepared to receive something even better.

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honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me
i love being bitches
if you don't worship your girl's ass what even are you doing
does anyone else get insanely romantically frustrated, like i know sexual frustration is a thing but sometimes i get super intense cravings for soft kisses or make out sessions or cuddling naps or things like that and itâs way more frustrating to me than sexual cravings

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whatâs wrong? nothing in particular but everything in general
couples ought to be friends if not best friends. romance is not a alternate path to friendship, but an add-on to friendship. friendship with sprinkles on top.
âTwo souls donât find each other by simple accident.â
â Jorge Luis Borges (via bnmxfld)

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My husband did not find this funny. I found it hilarious.
honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.
I love this post because one time my younger sister told me I looked like a turtle from one of the Ice Age movies and since then nothing has cut me deeper than that
yea thatâs him :/
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A time lapse of a cat through the day:
I relate so much to thisâŠ

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oh my god i'm cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone
it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones
How did you know if you dialed the right number
each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart
i canât beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime
Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.
Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesnât exist.
Iâm not even fucking 30 yet why
#tbt that time two brothers bought their own planes, learnt to fly them and disguised them as soviet planes so they wouldnât be questioned and then flew into east germany to rescue their third brother from a park and recorded the entire operation and got away with it
no but legit this is one of my favourite stories from the 20th century it just sums up human ingenuity and how walls just donât fucking work when people will do anything to cross them
the first brother and a friend paddled over the Elbe on inflatable mattresses in the middle of the night to escape the east. they got picked up by a Wessi police officer, who said something like âbit cold for swimming, ey boys?â and the brother says ânot when youâre trying to leave the East.â because all East Germans were automatically citizens of the West too, they were taken into town and established themselves there.Â
the second brother scoped out a particularly dark stretch of the wall. He escaped over it to the west by getting into a high building and shooting an arrow with a steel cable attached over to another building in the west. He then ziplined over. In response to his escape, the Stasi and the Wall designers built another guard tower in the middle of the stretch so no one else could pull the same stunt.Â
the two brothers met up and heard that their who was still in East Germany also wanted out. So, they learnt to fly planes and disguised them as soviet planes. This was so, if the border guards saw them, they wouldnât fire on them - theyâd have to ring up the Kremlin and ascertain whether they were actual soviet planes on an organised fly-by. they flew into East Germany at dawn (recording it all on camera because youâve got to do it for the vine even before vine exists), landed in a park where their brother was hiding in the bushes, loaded him onto one of the planes and flew out of East Germany, laughing all the way.
other great moments include - the guy who broke out of the GDR by driving a very low-slung sportscar under a barrier, the family who built two hot air balloons with their bare hands, the guy who managed to windsurf out of East Germany, the man who stole a tank (my hero), the people who removed the petrol tanks from cars so people could squeeze into the gap where the tank should have been, and of course, one of the most famous photos of the 20th century, with Eastern border guard, conrad schumann noping the fuck out of there when he was meant to be on duty guarding the wall when it was under construction in 1961
ok but my favorite defector stories involve engineers, because engineers are insane
Eugeniusz Pieniazek, aircraft designer who decided to escape communist Poland by building an airplane in his living room, and lowering it out the window
Bernd Boettger, an engineer, escaped East Germany by riding a fucking torpedo across the sea
and even when these assholes screwed up they didnât tend to stay in jail, cause communist regimes just couldnât afford to keep locking up their engineers. engineers are special kinds of nutjobs
also that time a bunch of senior citizens got together and literally built a tunnel under the Berlin wall
@zombeesknees