Starbucks and Hulu are my Salvations

Honestly better than I expected.

I think this is the first thing I am watching of Cara Delevingne that I actually liked her acting. Other roles I’ve seen her she is usually wooden, but I think she really added depth and nuance here. Quite enjoyed it. She was born to act a Fairy(would have said “mythical creature” but then I remembered Suicide Squad).

Really loved Orlando Bloom in this too. He has aged beautifully. Loved the depth he added to Philo’s character. Although I got some serious Jon Snow vibes at some point, however with all his character has been through, the glumness was justified.

I loved Philo and Vignette individually, but together I wasn’t quite sold. Maybe because the show set them apart too long, and didn’t work hard enough to mend their relationship. Their love-making scene was terrific though, with the glowing wings and all, but that was one of the few times they were allowed to express their chemistry. I thought their coming back together at the end was rushed, and I wish it had been done better. They wasted so much time with Vignette and those gang of fairies - that story arch was pointless imho. I’m looking forward to how their love story evolves in S2.

Aah, the icing on the cake for me was the love story of Agreus and Imogen. How beautiful was their story arch! Never knew I would stan a Ram-man and a human so hard, but here I am. Their love story was something I did not know I would come to enjoy. Perhaps even a tad more so than the main couple’s. Side note: Did you see the packs on dear Mr Agreus? Dammnnn!!!!

Anyway…

Loved all the side characters too. Indira Varma really brought out the crazy! Whenever Jared Harris was on screen I got all warm and fuzzy. He was so bear-like. It was so good seeing his face here since I last saw him in Chernobyl, and he looked like he actually enjoyed the role.

I love that Philo stood by who he was when the secret was finally out. Thank God! I thought they were going to drag that storyline. They nearly went ham on GOT quotes towards the ending though with all that talk about Chaos. Kept expecting someone to say “Chaos is a ladder”. Hopefully, they stray from that in Season 2.

Also realised why it’s called “Carnival Row” is because the Row is a designated place for the “Freaks”. 

So the standard “hide all your unsightly things by doing xyz” may look nice for the first week or so, but by the end of the week it’ll look like a tornado made of pure inhuman frustration ripped through the house as I try to find the fucking advil.

To give you an example of the kind of hell I’ve been fumbling my way through the last 20 odd years: dishes will be washed and left in the drying wrack but never put away. Which means I can’t wash more dishes, which means dishes pile up, which means I can’t make food, which means I don’t eat, which means my CFS gets worse, which means I don’t have the energy to put the dishes away, and so on so forth until I have a meltdown, cry to ETD (who also likely has ADHD but has never had it confirmed) about how I can’t cope with life, and then we fix it for a while, but inevitably end up back at square one within about a week.

Pinsky’s solution to this was “remove an obstacle between you and your goal, if that means taking all the doors off your kitchen cabinets to make things easier, so be it.”

And lemme tell you, fucking revolutionary.

Laundry never ends up in the hamper??? why???? is it a closed hamper??? Remove the lid. Throw it out the window. Clothes are now miraculously finding their way into the hamper??? Rejoice????

Mail ends up spread out over every available flat surface? Put a sorting station right where your mail arrives. Put a shredder or “junk” basket under it. Shred or dump the junk immediately. Realize you only actually have two real letters that need attention, feel less overwhelmed, pay your bills on time.

Like I’m not saying this book is miraculous, but it did help me realize that I was effectively torturing myself by trying to conform to certain ideals of “perfect house keeping”, and presenting a certain image rather than just allowing myself to live in my space as effectively as possible. And why? Why was I doing that? Cause people with different lives and capabilities are perceived as the norm? Fuck that. If this was a physical problem I wouldn’t be forcing myself to conform to an ableist standard, so why am I doing it with this?

Might have to try some of this.

Regina George (Mean Girls), Sharpay Evans (High School Musical), Heather Chandler (Heathers), and Cher Horowitz (Clueless) just to make a few.

What is interesting is all of their characters are defined by three primary characteristics: being physically attractive, being ultra-feminine, and having ambition. Now what’s interesting is the first two characteristics are things that society likes in women, so in a typical story one would expect these characters to be treated as heros or at least love interests. But instead ¾ of these characters are either primary or secondary villains. Cher is the exception, being the protagonist of her movie, but many of her actions are vilified by the script so despite being the protagonist, it isn’t until the end that she is treated like a hero.

Why is this character type villainized?

The answer is that these characters are women who use the things that society likes in women (femininity, beauty) not for men, but for their own personal use. This goes back to the aforementioned ambition. These characters crave power, and are willing to work for it, more specifically, they are willing to use their ~feminine wiles~ to get it. By having this ultra masculine character trait, these characters are seen as villains when they perform simple acts like caring about their appearance, or being flirtatious. Traits like this, ambition, flirtation and even vanity are praised in male characters.

Many of the actions and personalities these women do/have are strikingly similar to many male anti heroes in action movies.

They are arrogant, clever, manipulative, self-aggrandizing, just like characters like Tony Stark, Loki, Han Solo and Deadpool. But whereas these anti heroes become lovable scoundrels with hearts of gold, these characters become the villains of their tales because they are teenage girls.

To me what this says is audiences and writers are fine with all the traits associated with ambition, they just aren’t fine when it’s associated with femininity. Because an ambitious clever man is a scoundrel, but an ambitious woman is a bitch.

As a little girl constantly seeing these characters portrayed as evil made me develop a really negative image of femininity. I wanted to think I was superior to other girls because I feel better presenting pretty masculine. I was really misogynistic to a lot of girls because of my preconceived notions about femininity equating to shallowness and bad intentions. I know there are a lot of gay/gnc girls that like me had similar misogynistic hang ups because of gender non conformity and that really sucks!

As such I think it’s really cool when movies subvert the blonde bitch trope. To some extent, Clueless did this, but I think a better example is Legally Blonde. Elle Woods is clearly ambitious and hard working, but she’s also a feminine pretty blonde woman. And she is absolutely the hero of her story, and she is able to succeed due to a combination of her femininity and her ambition without having to compromise either!

What, like it’s hard?

just.. think about it — as the resident healer, so many students must pass through her doors who are desperate and confused, with unusual wounds and secrets and fears. and she takes them all.

their wellbeing is more important than her curiosity — she doesn't ask questions, unless she needs to. these are children, after all; children who are learning and growing and making mistakes in a world where being a child isn't always possible. so she does what she can.

we know she can re-grow bones and soothe burns, that her skill with restorative potions is vast and that she can reverse complex hexes and curses. but what does that matter, in the grand scheme of things? what i care about are the ones who come to her seeking treatment for subtler, more intrinsic things. the ones who need their homesickness soothing, their depression managing, their menstrual pains alleviated. the ones who don't understand why sex is painful, why they're throwing up every morning, why their bodies are growing in new and daunting ways.

hogwarts is where muggle and magical lives collide and madam pomfrey stands on that intersection. she has to. a boy with chronic pain needs treating just as much as a girl whose teeth won't stop magically growing. bone and sinew and muscles don't lie — magical or not, a human being is a human being.

(the old families will rave about blood purity until their faces go blue, but all blood looks the same when it spills across her floor.)

i wonder about the student who can't stop feeling angry and doesn't know what to do. i see him going into the infirmary because pomfrey is a neutral ground. she makes him a cup of tea and sits with him all night. they talk about breathing and expectations and exhaustion. and it's easier, after that. he knows where he can turn to.

i wonder about the younger students whose parents couldn't talk about periods, or who didn't have parents to teach them. pomfrey explains in detail (and muggle books are important for this, because static pictures and simple diagrams do more than flashy magic.) she hands out pads and tampons and chocolate. the students don't know how to thank her, but their relief is enough.

i wonder about the muggle-born who comes to her with an allergy and an epi-pen, because there must be one. or dozens. hundreds. and poppy sits through the night to monitor their vitals, before consulting flitwick on a charm to help the child detect their triggers and, in the worst case scenario, summon aid.

i wonder about the children who become teenagers, the teenagers who want to be adults. they need advice. they need contraceptives. they need options. they need someone who can take away the crushing weight of the world, or teach them how to manage it. and most importantly, they need guidance.

Some dogs are trained to provide emotional support for witnesses while reliving a traumatic experience on the witness stand or testifying in front of their attacker.