Stinky

From the start, you are forced to pick between the labels transmasculine and transfeminine based on your AGAB. From then on, if you don't visibly present as the side you are transitioning to, you are seen as woman-lite or man-lite until others consider your transition complete, in which case you'll just be treated as a binary trans person.

Subvert this system in any way and your identity becomes scrutinised.

If you use a label like "transneutral" or "transxenine", expect doubts about whether your experience is real, or to still be asked if you're male or female ('transfem' or 'transmasc'/'TMA' or 'TME') so that they can categorise you still.

If you're multitrans, you will be told you're co-opting labels and either treated as a confused transmasc or a confused cis woman (yes, even if you're perisex AMAB).

And obviously if you're a AFAB transfem enby or an AMAB transmasc enby, you're actually just a cis woman/cis man, because you're 'not transitioning'. Damn, I thought we left the truscum rhetoric behind but apparently not.

Beautiful, you don’t HAVE to forgive them. You just can’t ridicule them after leaving for being “tainted” or “evil” or whatever the acceptable word is now. Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.

“But they should’ve known sooner” and we should’ve known sooner that Destiel was never gonna meaningfully happen outside of queerbaiting, what’s your point?

“I never want them near me” that’s fine, but you do realize to insult them, YOU have to get near THEM, right? Wouldn’t it be more conducive to what you want to just leave each other alone?

And I understand why. For many of us, our identities are inherently based in wanting to be seen, treated, as something other than human. We're often eager to disavow humanity, having spent so long being forced into that role, and so we embrace ideas of dehumanisation. But we don't often consider that alterhumans of colour, who have long histories of being treated as subhuman and having their humanity denied, might have more complex relationships with these narratives.

As a community in the internet age, we have the myths and legends of the whole world at our fingertips. But we often give very little care to the meanings of those myths and the cultures they come from. (Are you actually a human possessed by an Algonquin spirit of starvation, after falling prey to greed and the exploitation of other people? Or are you a woods monster with a skull-deer head? Because the former is not the latter, and if you actually are the former, a lot of Native Americans are going to be rightfully upset by you, as that spirit represents immense amounts of cruelty that was done to them and is still being done to them.)

And then there are the myths and legends that are explicitly tied to racism. The New Age narrative of starseeds and ancient alien ancestors originates in white supremacy (we never see Black alien progenitors, but we do see explicitly "Nordic" ones), antisemitism (anything to do with the world being secretly run by alien lizardfolk, which have widely been understood by Jewish scholars as code for the Jews), and literal Nazi occult practices. While some starseeds disavow racism, disavowing it personally is not enough- not when the community continues to circulate white supremacist beliefs.

And then of course there's the police dog thing. No, it doesn't make you evil to have been a police dog, or to have enjoyed having been one. No one can expect you to have understood racism as a dog. But you have this body and mind now, you are aware of racism now, and you are aware of the baseless cruelty of the police, the countless Black and Brown communities that have been terrorised by the police and K9 units. You have the choice to keep condoning this system, or to learn about it and the harm it does. Perhaps that's what you're meant to do as a dog in this life- perhaps that's why you're here, why you've been given this mind and this awareness in this current time. To become a better, more compassionate being than you were in the past.

So let’s rephrase it.

“Do trans men belong in women’s spaces clinics that offer services meant for those with vaginas, uteruses, etc?” If they have the relevant anatomy that needs care, then obviously yes. I’m sorry, do you want trans men to get cancer and die because it went undetected too long? Because that’s how you get trans men to get cancer and die because it went undetected too long. Also, why is that space considered a women’s space to begin with and why should we let it stay that way?

“Do trans men belong in women’s spaces feminist advocacy groups fighting for abortion rights?” Yes because leaving trans men out means the people writing the law can simply forget trans men exist and write it in such a way where some asshole familiar with the law can use the exact wording to justify denying necessary care to a trans man because he is a trans man. If the law says “no woman should be denied access to abortion care…” and the trans man is legally a man, he will find himself in the same situation as the trans man who gets that phone call from his insurance saying “hey, sorry, but since you’re a man, we’re not covering that pap smear and you will be charged the full amount.” Not just in terms of paying either. “If you were a real man, you wouldn’t need an abortion. Come back after you fix your documents so they indicate you’re a female, but like, maybe motherhood would fix you so. Idk not my problem anymore. Goodbye!”

“Do trans men belong in women’s spaces lesbian book clubs or whatever?” They’re probably already there anyway and they’re not causing any problems just by being men in what is traditionally a women’s only thing. Plus, chances are they’ve been there since before coming out as trans so you’d just be kicking him out for coming out. I don’t have to explain to anyone why that’s kind of messed up, right?