today on satan makes a blog post

Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.

Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.

i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format

Or you can unscrew the little thing and let all the air out and screw it back on and do it slowly over time so they keep thinking they're buying shit tires but really you're just fucking with them.

sorry I wasn’t in the mood to be a person today, sorry I forgot to keep a conversation, sorry my soul needs ironing. give me a moment, a day or a so. it’ll be good. I’ll brush my hair and change my clothes. I’ll laugh a lot. I’ll say important things. it’ll be good.

sorry I wasn’t in the mood to be a person today, sorry I forgot to keep a conversation, sorry my soul needs ironing. give me a moment, a day or a so. it’ll be good. I’ll brush my hair and change my clothes. I’ll laugh a lot. I’ll say important things. it’ll be good.

every time I see this my grip on sanity gets just that little bit slimmer

I always feel like it’s safe to mention that this isn’t just any band, it’s the Ukrainian Army Band for some reason.

tag urself im the dancing guy

never forget

I don’t necessarily need a message. Just nice to know I’m not alone.

Don’t do it. I reblogged this expecting money, but all I got was unlimited arcane powers, and the ability to bend the very elements to my will.

No refunds.