Amanda's Adventures

You know, call me biased or whatever but I have found my generation to be way more hard working than the previous generation that condemned us to the stereotype of “lazy people who don’t care”. In my personal experience, it’s the generation before me that cuts more corners and is actually less empathetic. 

I read this great article the other day (link below) that explains why millenials are quitting jobs more often and you would think it’s because we are lazy and don’t want to work hard but it’s actually the exact opposite. We work too hard. We are willing to put in extra hours, sacrifice sanity, and drink a ton of caffeine to get the job done because we are passionate about what we are doing. We were told from a young age that we can change the world if we work hard enough. 

Well, to those who gave us hope- just know you’ve created a progressive monster. The reason millenials are quitting jobs and making a bunch of changes that make older generations squeamish, is because we don’t work as hard as we do just so our bosses can have some jingle in their pocket. We do it to make a difference in the world. If we don’t feel the company provides a platform for change and progression in society, we have no problem moving on to find somewhere that will.

Speaking as a millenial, I believe social media has caused a riff in society that gave older generations the stereotype-lenses to view younger generations as lazy. Now that older people are on facebook, they use it to check in with family and friends. However, a detail seems to get lost on some people that younger people don’t always post things that have to do with work or studying or school. Pictures will show up from parties and tweets will pop up with an ironic, sarcastic spin about laziness but it gets lost in translation and then viewed as genuine dont-give-a-shit-disorder by those who didn’t grow up with social media in their young culture. I admit I use social media excessively, but I also put the phone down and exist in the moment more often than facebook will tell you.

But hey, that’s my opinion based on my experiences.

here’s that article: 

Both days of the craft show at my church I showed up expecting to just shop and got roped into more work than I felt physically well enough for.

I was terribly hungover from the Christmas party the night before. If a bar ever says, “We don’t have fireball, but I can make you something like it,” DO NOT DRINK IT. It will be gross and unwanted in both the stomach and liver regions. On an unrelated note- also do not drink moonshine from strangers.

Anyways, I showed up at the over crowded craft show hungover, not entirely showered (I washed my hair in the sink because I had zero time to get ready before my parents drove me to the place), and not fit to be around people. However, the kitchen that was serving ethnic food was run by our parishoners and they desperately needed help. So... I helped. I was wearing a knit poncho that had no business being worn while delivering food to vendors and heeled boots that were supposed to make me feel dressy and human for a little while. Long story short, I bought a $25 t-shirt for sheer fact that I was over heated, underfed, and about to pass out... but I had to function and not let people know I was on my death bed that morning with a questionable hangover.

I got to a point where I just stopped working and sat in the kitchen. But I didn’t sit there looking busy or even looking at my phone, I sat there just staring and watching other people work- THIS IS WHY I’M AWKWARD. I thought watching them work would prove I’m not being lazy and dismissive, but that I just didn’t want to exist in their food-delivering-world at the moment. Oh and I couldn’t just go home and nap in my brand new queen sized bed that was delivered that morning... NOOOOO... my parents insisted on driving me there to torture the hangover out of me by making me stay there for a grand total of 5 hours. 

We finally got home, I showered, my mom fussed over what sheets to put on my new bed, I finally laid down to test it out... then I was OUT. Like, they kept turning the lights on and making noise and I didn’t even care! That’s saying something.

So I’ve got my first full time job after being a full time student my whole life and I’ve come to realize that I am a spectacle compared to my “adult” coworkers. The next oldest person in my office is 30, so I am the youngest by 7 years. At the present moment I’m “just the receptionist” but I think I’ve proved myself to be a functioning adult like the rest of the company and an asset to the team. It didn’t really occur to me until the Christmas party that I am strange to them. They saw me outside of the office for the first time and I could just tell the way they watched and asked questions, they were waiting for me to do something 23-year-old-ish. I think they felt a little disappointed at my mild demeanor... well ok, as long as we are being honest- I did get a little tipsy because hey, I’m not perfect. Since I was a bit tipsy, I felt super paranoid that Monday at work because usually the guys tease “Oh I heard you got a little crazy” when I go out with the ladies at work (which proves the guys don’t really know because that never happened when I went out with them). However, this time, no one said anything. The atmosphere in the office was really awkward for the next few days and to this day I don’t know why but it eventually fizzled out and it’s back to it’s usual state... well sort of... at least it’s not uncomfortably quiet. 

Oh and I won the ugly sweater contest for most creative (I was a tree. I spent an embarrassing amount of time the night before sewing garland around a green shirt so that when I put my arms up, I look like a decorated tree and I held a star at the top.) We spent a few hours at the office decorating our work areas, listening to Christmas music and drinking punch. One co-worker had a splash too much punch and was going on and on about how I should meet his friend who does hip hop. I mean I was all for it but it was kind of funny the way he kept saying, “You should hook up with my buddy,” which out of context for other coworkers around us, sounded like I was being set up AGAIN (remember when the boss man try to play match maker with me and a friend of his?).

December 5th was my first official “work” day with Voice Variations. I didn’t know what to expect walking into it but I put on my big girl pants and my new favorite green sweater and went to the community center where it was at. Upon arrival, I started learning what was going on. 

This was actually an exclusive audition for a program called Destination Broadway. There was a moment of sheer fear because I knew I’d be participating in Master Classes that I attend with V.V. so I thought I would be expected to sing in front of everyone. (singing is... not my forte). That was not the case. I assisted in the operations of the day. It started with helping set up the room, making copies of flyers, passing out the flyers, and running to get paperclips and pens. Then, Amy put me on the spot and asked me to talk about myself since she was introducing me as her Artistic Assistant. I started strong but then I could just hear myself rambling and going on random tangents about London (I sorta do that a lot). Anyway, Michael Rafters was flying in from New York just to hold the auditions and was scheduled on a flight back to New York a few hours later. His flight into Cleveland was running late so Amy and I were finding ways to stall, which is probably why she let me ramble as much as I did.

Amy said that Ryan (one of the few V.V. students over the age of 20) was almost there with Michael so I went to greet them and show them to where we were waiting. Michael spoke about the program and auditions in general while getting input from what the younger students thought was important in an audition. I was taking notes along with a few other people. There really wasn’t any new info that I didn’t learn in my theatre classes but I thought I’d be studious and take notes just in case I may need a reminder down the road.

Then Amy and Michael went into the studio to run the auditions and I was kind of left in charge of keeping the auditions on schedule and keeping the kids occupied in the waiting room. This is a prime example of “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I hadn’t the slightest clue what to do and so I pretty sure I was constantly sweating in my new favorite green sweater. The time was spent talking to students’ parents, playing acting games, looking for a schedule of the auditions (I was to make sure we stayed on time yet I didn’t have a schedule- luckily a parent found it in her email so I wrote it down), and also talking to students while they were on deck. Amy offered to buy me lunch but I felt too awkward since no one else was getting food. Then she said it’s part of my deal so I should take her up on food offers... I don’t know why but I feel weird eating in front of people I’m not too familiar with.

December 4th- I went to see Amy’s show that she co-directed. I drove out there by myself and my cousin Mike happened to know someone in the show so he met me there. I was really grateful he came because I’m still an awkward being that needed someone familiar to lean on at times. Amy took me around to parent after parent to officially introduce me as her Artistic Assistant who will be teaching dance classes. All the parents were so excited about it and I was just silently praying I can live up to their expectations. 

Amy is really good at talking people up. She makes me sound so impressive by emphasizing that I graduated from Baldwin Wallace with a theatre degree, studied Shakespeare in London, and that I know so many styles of dance. It sounds pretty spectacular when you throw it all together like that but maybe I’m too humble- I mean awkward to see it because I experienced every ups and downs of it instead of seeing just the highlights.

When I heard about the terrorist attack in Paris on Friday, I was working on a film project and had limited access to the news. I didn't realize the magnitude of it and went about my business. Then, as I learned more and more about it the next day, it sunk in and the emotions bubbled up. The grief, the suffering, the eye-opening realization that there's so much more going on in the world than the media will allow us privileged westerners to believe hit me. Maybe I'm too sheltered to understand how anyone could conceive the mere thought of what these terrorists thought and acted on. All I know is it is human nature to help those in need. When you ignore the media and societal standards of class, age, race, etc, you'll see that human instinct is to help those who are in trouble. 

 The Internet is swimming with hashtags: #prayforParis #prayforKenya #prayforSyria #prayforJapan #prayforBeirut #prayfortheWorld

 In the end actions, large or small, speak louder than hashtags.

 http://www.syracuse.com/us-news/index.ssf/2015/11/how_to_help_paris_ways_to_help_victims_of_terror_attacks_in_france.html This link contains a group of links that allow us to help... from the comfort of our homes. 

~Hot Mess Express

~Awkward Amanda

~What Just Happened?

~Is this Real Life?

~Why’s it Always Me? (eh? eh? Harry Potter reference!)

~Of Course...

~I Can’t Make This Sh*t Up

~Am I Being Punk’d?

This is an actual account of how awkward my life is:

Let me start by saying- my current boss for my full time job hasn’t exactly been my favorite person, still not the worst boss ever, but just not my favorite person. So, I went camping or “glamping” (we stayed in a cabin with a hot tub) with a majority of the female employees of this company. This morning back at work, my boss comes into my office and says:

“How was the weekend?” (I knew he’d ask since we talked about it all week leading up to the trip)

“Good, a ton of fun, I really enjoyed it.” (I continue shuffling papers around, my boss hasn’t even taken off his jacket yet).

“I thought about you this weekend.” (..oh...uh.....what? oh like you were jealous of us being able to get a cabin? wait what are you talking about?)

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I met this guy...” (oh great, here we go again. It’s not like I haven’t had every other person I know try and set me up with someone) “He’s a friend of my girlfriend’s family. He’s really smart, nice guy, about 25 or 26. He’s an engineer, a musician, super smart... He just got out of a five year relationship thing that went terribly... I was like ‘aw man, Amanda would be great for this guy.’ I almost texted you, but I knew you wouldn’t have service up at the cabin. I had my girlfriend look you up on facebook and he saw a picture of you and said ‘ok yeah, set it up.’ So would you be interested?”

(try not to laugh) “Wow this is the last thing I ever expected you to say to me.”

“Here’s a picture of him. He may not be your type- I have no idea what your type is- but are you interested?”

“Wow, um... let me process all this and get back to you.”

*A Project Manager walks in to give me time sheets for his workers.*

“I’m trying to set up Amanda with a guy I met this weekend.”

“Oh, playing Hitch, the match maker?”

*laughter all around, my laughter being the most uncomfortable sounding of the three of us...*

“So yeah can we delegate cleaning the lobby and the copier room to you and make it your responsibility?”

“Oh. uhm, yeah, I guess.”

*we all go separate ways. Sue comes up to me*

“Did he (the boss) talk to you?”

“About...?”

“His friend-”

“Oh gosh, yeah. Is he telling everyone?”

“Yeah he came in my office first thing in the morning and told me, ‘Oh I found the perfect guy for Amanda!’” (mind you, he was getting out of his car when I arrived at work sooo he must have ran to her office before I even got out of my car).

*Sue’s all for it, even though I think he looks kinda dorky, she wants me to go for it...

later in the copier room-  Project Manager stands in the doorway staring at me. I smile and go back to using the machine*

“Are you flustered?”

“What?”

“You have a big decision to make today.” (I quickly try and figure out what he’s talking about- oh the date)

“Yeah, haha my brain is just going...”

*awkward laughter and he leaves. In walks Bambi who stops to see why I’m laughing. I explain to her.*

“Hey, you never know, he could be your soulmate!”

“Yeah, but if he was it would kill me that he (the boss) was responsible for me finding my soulmate.”

*laughter ensues and Bambi walks away. In walks Lisa*

“You should go for it. Take one for the team- this would change the entire dynamic of the office-”

*in walks the boss*

Boss- “Any answer for me about the guy?” (oh my gosh, give me a break!)

Me- “I don’t know... what’s his name, you haven’t even told me his name.”

Boss- “Mike.”

Lisa- “Just do it! It’s not the rest of your life!”

Boss- “He’s a good guy, I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think so.”

Me- “Oh he’s got your stamp of approval?” (trying to be light heart-ed and sassy at the same time because I’m slightly annoyed with this kind of attention)

*I go back to my office. Boss stops by 1 minute later*

“so what should I tell him? don’t feel obligated to do it, but what should I say?”

(deep breath) “Sure, why not.” (i’m cleaning up more papers and avoiding eye contact)

“Great so, I’ll give him your info then?”

“Sounds good.”

“So coffee then? I don’t know, what do you do?” (uh sounds fine? what do I do? you mean as a young person? dating isn’t all that different. You’re dating someone my age anyway soooo you should know...)

“coffee, dinner, I dont friggin know” (yes i said that, but I mumbled so maybe it went unnoticed?) “I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Ok! can’t wait!” (uh, boss man, hate to break it to you, you aren’t coming.)

*later I stop by Lisa’s office*

“This could change the entire dynamic of the office.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s in such a good mood because of it. He’ll be nicer to everyone.”

*the phone rings, I run out to answer it, feeling like the office hero because I may make a difference around here*

*Later in the office kitchen- Sue, Danielle, and I eating lunch together*

Sue- “Dorky guys are good. At least they aren’t full of themselves like SOME guys...”

Danielle- “Dorky guys can be sexy too.”

Sue- “He (the boss) is just so excited about this.” (oh great, no pressure there)

*I take some papers to my boss’s office*

“So I forwarded your info to this gu- this gentleman.”

“Oh, okay.” (trying to sound excited)

“I think he’s nervous.” (cute)

“Oh hahaha, well, we’ll see.”

*more laughter upon exit*

That brings us to now. I’m sitting at my desk, the topic hasn’t been brought to my attention is a solid hour so it may be fizzling out. Mike hasn’t texted me yet either. I keep thinking of the pros and cons of the situation...

Pros: -Mike and I may actually get along real well. -Boss man will be a nicer person around the office. -People will get off my case about being single.

Cons: -Mike tells Boss’s gf who tells him about the date and suddenly my boss knows shit about me I don’t care for him to know. -The date goes terribly and then it’s awkward all around. -There’s a second date and another and that leads to a double date with the boss and his gf and us.... would like to avoid any situation resembling that at all costs.

Well, whatever happens, at least it will make for a good story. Plus, I’ve been on some pretty awful dates and I doubt this would ever top them so.... why the hell not?

So I met with Amy at Panera. I arrived first, got a cup of tea (so I wouldn’t have coffee-breath... oh yeah, since Europe, I’ve turned to the dark roast side and strayed from tea- but I’m on my way back to tea time), and found a seat between both entrances so I wouldn’t miss her. I tried to connect to wifi on my iPad to see if she sent me an email because my phone is completely worthless, I can only call on it and sometimes receive calls. By the time I connected, she walked in and gave me a hug but then apologized that she’s sick so she pulled away real quick to protect me from the passage of germs.

The first 20 minutes, I learned all about Amy. We bonded over how we are both first generation in the US; her dad was born and raised in Hungary, my mom was born and raised in Poland. So we have very similar mentalities about good work ethics. She did a ton of name-dropping of Tony Award Winning Directors and Tony Award Winning Writers who, of course, she’s friends with. I realized I need to start researching these things because without telling me what they’ve done, I hadn’t a clue who she was talking about. I did a lot of smiling and agreeing. 

Finally, she asked me to talk about myself so I dove into my folder to get my resume out. I told her about a previous internship I created for myself with the ethnic dance group I’m in. I didn’t even finish describing it before she cut me off to say that’s EXACTLY what she’s looking for. She needs someone to help with the work load and fill in if she’s called away to New York or LA. I definitely can do that. We learned that I work around the corner from where she lives, I would only work about 20 hrs a month and I can totally keep my full time job. AKA- this was THE PERFECT match up.

The conversation took a turn there and all the hypothetical talk went from “if you did this... I may ask you to do that...” to “When you do this... You’ll do that...” Then she asked about my teaching dance classes because she’d like to add a hip hop class for her students. Ok, I think I can do that. Then she asked if I would teach a Shakespeare Class. woah! My entire Senior Capstone before I graduated college was a Shakespeare performance that I created and directed with my friend Cat Patterson. But the conversation didn’t stop there. As I’m sitting at Panera at a meeting where I only had the intention of gathering information in case I’d be interested, she starts setting the times and dates for each class. There will be 5 two hour long classes and then a showcase. Oh and there will be a video audition submission process to get into the class.

Now at this point, my nodding and agreeing and smiling was used to hide my nervousness. This is actually happening and at hyper speed. I’m going to be teaching students that are destined for Broadway. I can think of some people who may be more qualified than me but Amy was asking ME. 

This seems to be happening a lot lately... I must exude confidence which leads to others either being 1.) intimidated by me or 2.) thinking highly of me. Lately, people are acting like I’m a bigger deal than I think I am. Maybe I’ve just been so used to being treated like a child who couldn’t possibly achieve anything an adult can but now that I’m no longer in school, people are trusting me more and giving me more responsibility. This new found attention and responsibility has pushed me out of my comfort zone and as a result of that, I have accomplished so much more. Imagine if I was treated this way when I was younger, how far I would be by now.

So back to the convo- I tried to steer Amy back to talking about the internship. As we got back to business she said she can’t pay me a salary but I will be able to attend master classes (I’ll be helping her set it up but then I can take the class) and network with her connections. 

“Do you have any interest in tv and film?” “YES. YES I DO.” “Ok, because I know the casting director for the movie filming close to here and I can get you in as an extra.” Oh my Lord, I was so giddy! I hugged her on the way out, disregarding germs and flu season. 

I went back to work after that and couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. (oh yeah, did I mention that I left work for this meeting/interview?) Amy emailed me saying, “Thanks for meeting with me today. More to come in relation to our partnership :)” So I guess that means I got the job!

So, I finally found my lap top charger- which means I will be able to catch up from Europe to now. But that’s not my big news...

I have been offered a management internship with Amy Hanratty of Voice Variations. 

STORY TIME: sit tight, this may take a minute or two.

In May this year, I graduated from Baldwin Wallace University with an acting job with the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival, which does a mini tour throughout Northeast Ohio during the summer doing free outdoor performances. It was fun! I’ll dedicate a post to it later when I’ve reached that point in catching up. Rehearsals and performances were after 6 pm and I did not have any other job. So, I tried to fill my free time with auditioning, sending out resumes. It only had a little bit to do with my mom telling me to stop watching Netflix and get a job.

I saw an ad for a master class with Voice Variations and thought I’d give it a try. I asked my friend Alison, who does some community theatre, if she’d like to go with me. However, she actually had a full time job and couldn’t make it to the class. I almost backed out and said, ehhh probably wont miss too much. I’ll just wait for the next one to come along. 

Then I had 20 seconds of insane courage and paid for the master class... ergo I forced myself to go by myself.

I arrived with my head shot and resumes in a folder and a go-get-em attitude. I walked into the front door and had to take a guess where to go. A man walked past me and I smiled at him so I didn’t look completely lost. Then I walked up and down the hall ending back at the front desk area where I finally asked for directions. “Actually, that’s John. He’s running the class, just follow him.” So I follow the man I originally smiled at and that led me up the stairs behind him. He eventually turned around so I panicked and tried to play it cool. “You’re John, right? I was told to follow you to the class.” “Oh ok, yeah, the class will be downstairs.” So we turned around and I tried to make small talk with John until we stepped in the dance studio. 

In the studio, I looked around and immediately shrank a little on the inside. I was clearly the oldest person in the class, almost everyone else was younger than 13. Okay, just be confident, this your experience, try to ignore the stage-moms staring at you.

I went through the class, which summarized most of what my past four years of the acting program taught me. There was an exercise that we all needed partners for and I have this weird track record of not having a partner and ending up working with the teacher. John then asked Amy to partner with me so he can walk around and help other people. This exercise involves staring into the eyes of your partner to prompt genuine emotion. Afterwards on my way out I stopped to ask John what advice he would give to someone who would like to go from theatre to film. He suggested: read a lot of books about it, keep auditioning, and build a reel. Then, I stopped by to talk to Amy real fast, just to say, thanks, let me know of other opportunities coming up. She told me to send her an email with my contact info so that she can let me know of other classes. That night I sent her an email with my headshot and resume. Months passed before I heard from her again.

4.5 months, 2 new jobs and 2 weddings later, I ran into an old friend who is pursuing a music career and nonchalantly asked me to be his manager. I laughed and said I have absolutely no experience. THE VERY NEXT DAY, Amy emails me and asks if I’d be interested in a management internship. She asked if I can meet with her to talk about it. Now, in my mind, I have plans to move to Florida and audition to be a Disney World performer... and by plans I mean- it was a thought that I shared with a few people. I wanted to save up and move by July of next year. So, when I saw this email, I honestly hesitated. My initial reaction was, “No Amanda, stop getting into commitments that will delay the move to Florida.” But my follow up reaction was, “what if...”

BOTTOM LINE: 

-Everything Happens for a Reason

-Explore Opportunities

-You just need 20 seconds of insane courage

-Plans aren’t for everyone...