such lost creatures

Me at 11am: But, why did Ben Solo have to die?

Me at 3pm: But, why did Ben Solo have to die?

Me at 9pm: But, why did Ben Solo have to die?

Me at 12am: But, why did Ben Solo have to die?

They are the same person.

There is no Ben Solo apart from Kylo Ren - and no Kylo Ren apart from Ben Solo.I think one of the many, many things I didn’t like about TRoS was the way they depicted Kylo Ren and how Ben Solo was able to just throw this alter ego away. Kylo Ren didn’t come out of nowhere. Ben Solo made this character up to cope with all the trauma he had to endure. Kylo Ren was strong when Ben Solo wasn’t, Kylo Ren could do all the horrible things necessary for their survival, Kylo Ren protected Ben Solo by trying to get rid of all personal attachment and emotions. The second Kylo Ren vanishes and Ben Solo breaks through, we see him breaking down, crying or screaming. 

I don’t hate Kylo Ren, I think Kylo Ren is what happens when you’re a scared child with no one left to fight for you but yourself. Young Ben Solo had absolutely no one. His parents sent him away and his uncle tried to kill him, then Palpatine/Snoke set the temple ablaze and the students who survived tried to murder Ben because they didn’t believe him when he told them he didn’t do it.

No one was there to fight for him, to make him feel save and loved and to tell him everything will be alright. So what exactly was this child supposed to do?

Of course he made up a superhero-like version of himself who was everything he couldn’t be: strong, fearless, cold, emotionless. Kylo Ren couldn’t be hurt by anyone because he kept himself locked away from people. He was able to murder because he didn’t feel anything anymore. When there’s absolutely nothing left to loose, you will eventually start to behave like that.

I’m pretty sure nobody hates Kylo Ren more than he hates himself and that really shows. When he finally finds Rey, the dyad kicks in and he can’t help but have feelings again/ feel her emotions through their bond he snaps, multiple times.

I prefer Rey with Ben and Kylo because there can’t be one without the other. Kylo Ren helped little Ben survive and now Ben Solo has to help Kylo to feel again.

It’s all just really fucking awful and sad and it doesn’t really matter because they killed him before he had a chance to start his life. His real life. That he choose. Without the demons in his head. Without a family that doesn’t want him.

These words by Carson in the novel.

“She would have liked to know Ben Solo, but she could have never have loved Kylo Ren.”

With these words, Rey ends all comparison to Belle in BatB, whose love for the Beast brought back the Prince. Rey becomes a self righteous little bitch who ended up alone because no true human being is good enough for this pompous little succubus. The granddaughter of Palpatine thinking the grandson of Anakin wasn’t good enough for her.

I have some time today so let’s start with TOXIC:

“Toxic” is such an overused umbrella term and I tried really hard to find a good definition but there basically is none. Idk when or how is happened, but lying is suddenly not bad, but “toxic”, telling hard truths is suddenly “toxic”, ignoring people is suddenly not just mean, but “toxic”, fighting is “toxic”, screaming is “toxic”, ghosting is “toxic”, discussions (especially the ones people don’t like to have) are “toxic”, every relationship is suddenly “toxic”, gossiping is “toxic”, jokes are “toxic”, etc etc etc. I dare you to find a human being who isn’t “toxic” at least twice a day.

People just LOVE to throw the word toxic around because there’s no real definition which means you can’t really call them on their bullshit. E.g. racism, sexism and homophobia are clearly defined (even though people try to take power and impact away from these words by accusing basically everyone who doesn’t agree with them of either one of these things). The Star Wars universe doesn’t really care about race, gender or sexuality which means antis can’t accuse characters of these things to signal their virtue and show the world how much “holier than thou” they are. So they had to come of with something else - something, that cannot be defined nor (dis)proven which means they can’t be calld out for their blatant virtue signalling: toxic. 

And it’s perfect, really. It can’t be defined, it can’t be proven, it’s purely subjective and it clearly SHOWS THE WHOLE WORLD HOW WOKE, OPEN MINDED AND GREAT YOU ARE! So yes, Reylo is toxic, Star Wars is toxic, Disn*y is toxic, Hollywood is toxic. But why stop there? men are toxic, women are toxic, children are toxic, babies are probably also already toxic. Society as a whole? very much toxic. Human relationships? toxic by default. Me? also very much toxic, on a daily basis. And you know what? it’s ok. It’s fine. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, we all lie, manipulate, gossip, make others feel bad. Maybe we don’t mean to, but we still do and IT’S OK.

Alright, now let’s move on to ABUSIVE (GASLIGHTING/TORTURE):

Sadly, I don’t know when it started (I guess around the second wave of feminism and the beginning of feminist criticism in academia, which I studied during my undergrad, btw) but somehow somewhere, each and every story was probably abusive towards women. Don’t get me wrong, there are enough stories by male and female(!!! and yes, I know internalized misogyny is a thing but it really doesn’t matter, I’m tired of this whole “women can’t be bad or abusive” bullshit) authors which REEK of misogyny, sexism, classism etc. and it’s really hard to read these opinions IN THE 21ST CENTURY, which is ok, because they were written during another period of time for and in another society.

However, these “look at these takes! these opinions! the poor women! :(” takes bled from UNIVERSITIES AND ACADEMIA into NORMAL HIGH SCHOOLS and students all arounf the world were force-fed with the very shallow basics of  feminist criticism. That’s how we got hot takes like “every fairytale is abusive and sexist because the woman has to be saved by a prince!” which is not correct and clearly ignores the cultural development of storytelling and what it’s been used for ever since humans developed language skills. Anyway, it seems like today, especially in pop culture literature/movies/TV shows/etc, women and men can’t have any form of fight without claims of “abuse” and “sexism” which is slowly destroying the way we tell & process stories.

Rey and Kylo Ren have clearly been set up as “star crossed lovers” with a very obvious “enemies to lovers” (I will shorten this to ETL) arc holding the whole thing together. ETL is a very old, very simple and very interesting trope, because it gives conflict, allows each character to show a lot of emotions and still offers a happy ending. Readers have loved this trope for centuries and we still do because it’s fucking great.

Enemies to lovers is by default “abusive” or “toxic” or whatever because THEY START AS ENEMIES. In terms of Rey and Kylo they are not just enemies, they are on different sides OF A WHOLE FUCKING WAR. All is fair in love and war and Kylo and Rey have both. Of course they fight, of course they try to kill each other, of course he’s hurting her “friends”, because THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE FUCKING STAR WARS. What exactly do people not understand about the ENEMIES TO LOVERS trope? Enemies are mean to each other, they hurt each other, they want to kill each other and during those fights, they somehow realize that they can’t do it, even if they are given the chance (which happened to Rey when she slit Kylo open and it happened to Kylo in the rain). They can’t kill each other and they also won’t let anyone else kill the other one (throne room scene) which DOES NOT MEAN that they will work together or immediately fall in love, they just won’t let their beloved enemy be killed by anyone but them.

Enemies to lovers come in different shapes and not every story features them trying to kill each other (which ofc mostly makes sense in a sci-fi/war/fantasy setting) but some did and it’s ok. Buffy and Spike are a very famous example and they tried to kill each other constantlly AND THAT’S OK AND FITS THE TROPE. If people don’t like that trope, fine. But don’t try to shit on a whole type of literature (which is mostly written by women, btw) and act like you’re superior because you prefer “normal” love stories. “Playing hard to get” is another trope which gets a lot of shit and I personally just don’t get it. Just let people enjoy fiction? Without shaming them for the big great sin of... reading something you personally don’t like? It doesn’t make sense.

Yes, Rey and Kylo fight a lot. Yes, they hurt each other really bad and they even try to kill each other but they are ENEMIES AND AT WAR ON DIFFERENT SIDES. Sure, he went through her head without asking but you don’t exactly ask before you torture people? That’s not what torture is? And it’s not like the whole “Jedi trick” mind reading thing hurts a lot. If you compare Poe’s state after interrogation with Rey’s state you’ll maybe realize that he didn’t physically hurt her BECAUSE HE CHOSE NOT TO. Sure it was probably horrible to have someone else get into your head and comb through your memories but he didn’t do it because he thought “what a great monday morning, I think I’m gonna torture some girl today!” he did it to find information he needed in order to win the war he fought against her. She was a prisoner of war with vital information which he needed to get out of her. He could have physically tortured her to tell those secrets (which he obviously did with Poe) but HE CHOSE NOT TO.

And the whole gaslighting accusation? When did he ever act like he wasn’t a completely worthless monster? It’s not like he sent her flowers and a nice “sorry but you made me do this”-card. People are REACHING these days. Everything has to be bend in shape to fit their “men are bad and everything they do is abusive!!!”-agenda. I’m sorry but this is a fictional space opera with a VERY OBVIOUS enemies to lovers arc and a nod towards Pride and Prejudice (he’s an arrogant and ignorant prince/very high ranked member of the FO, she’s a scavenger girl who doesn’t even know who her parents are and doesn’t give af about his behaviour) and Romeo and Juliet (star crossed lovers from different sides of war who still fall in love and SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT PEACE WITH THEIR LOVE).

Finally, does Reylo NORMALIZE ABUSE?

No.

Idk why but some people seem to forget that women aren’t stupid little angels who cannot comprehend “dark elements” of fiction without immediately wanting to copy those stories in real life? My poor female brain, it will be bamboozled by the fiction and I will fall victim to real life abuse solely because I liked Kylo Ren. Oh woe is me! If only someone would take those books away from me and burn them all! If only I never learned to read so I mustn’t be tempted with such stories! If only my father or husband could decide which hobbies or interests I should pursue to keep me safe and comfortable.

The connection was… right. Good. Like coming home. They wasted a precious moment reveling in this new sharing. This is how it should have been all along. A true dyad.

author: they’re enemies but they slowly start to fall for each other