Okay so my Pharmacy AU is basically a "coffee shop AU" for human perryshmirtz except Perry works at a corporate office job and Heinz works at a CVS as a licensed Pharmacist. I know it's so mundane but that's the entire point. Something like Hallmark movie level of stakes. Also this is set in 2007
Perry recently gets diagnosed with OCD and takes prescription medication. So instead of ordering coffee from the cute barista, it's Perry picking up his meds from the cute Pharmacist. After having the prescription Perry visits the CVS more often sense it's in his awareness more often.
Doofenshmirtz is a Pharmacist but he also runs the cash register and he's a shift manager, he does too much for so little and the location is pathetically understaffed. For this reason Perry always sees Doofenshmirtz there and Heinz recognizes him every time.
Perry is non-verbal in this AU. It takes a couple months for Doofenshmirtz to notice that and shows Perry he can use sign language. Which makes Perry really happy, despite his lack of expression. So they start to have small talk more often.
Doofenshmirtz learned ASL from medical school and spend a lot of time using sign with deaf patients. He was going to work at a hospital for the emergency room but his plans didn't exactly work out so he ends up working at a CVS pharmacy.
Doofenshmirtz picks up on different things going on in Perry's life from the items he buys.
Perry buys a bottle of aspirin with a exhausted look on his face and Doofenshmirtz asks if he had a rough day at work and Perry just nods. Then Doofenshmirtz advises him to take the aspirin with a meal for his headache because it'll work better with food. So Perry does exactly that and it works.
Perry comes in and buys chicken noodle soup and flu medication so Doofenshmirtz gives him a sympathetic look and wishes him a smooth recovery.
After a few months Perry develps a crush on Heinz and a sexuality crisis. Coping with potentially being gay in 2007. Great time to be gay.
One day Perry buys travel sized shampoo and toothpaste Doofenshmirtz wonders if he's going on a trip, and Perry affirms that he's going on a business trip for two weeks. Doofenshmirtz hopes he has a good time.
Monogram is still Perrys boss and he's just as unbearable to Perry as he is in canon. Trying to get the workers to believe their office is just one happy family and does little events like taco Tuesday or pink Wednesdays. But they're underpaid and Perry thinks Monogram isn't being genuine half the time. Perry works for a company that sells state of the art technology, like the stuff you see Perry use in canon. Perry works in marketing their product by sending emails and making presentations.
Perry tries to enjoy the businesses trip but it's still work. During a dinner party after the conference meeting Perry stands outside the balcony wishing he was home. He thinks about the pharmacist at the CVS. He wonders what he's up to at the moment. The entire two weeks Perry is gone Doofenshmirtz misses him.
The Big Event™ in my AU is when Perry gets a severe hit to his head outside the CVS and Doofenshmirtz with the other employees check on him. Doofenshmirtz looks at him and tells someone to grab a small flashlight to check for a concussion. And yeah he absolutely does. So Doofenshmirtz tells someone to call 911. The entire time Doofenshmirtz holds up Perry and tries to keep him calm and safe. The ambulance takes him away and Doofenshmirtz is left to finish up the work shift, not knowing if Perry will be okay. The next morning at work Doofenshmirtz gets a phone call and it's Linda asking about the employee who called 911. When Doofenshmirtz confirms that it was him Linda thanks him and tells him that Perry is doing just fine and he'll recover soon.
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