aches & mistakes

ᴀᴄʜɪɴɢʟʏ, ɪ ᴄᴀʀᴇ

Newbie artist and poet. Aching over fictional characters, so I draw and write poetry to ache less. Sometimes I vent about fandom things—mostly Severus Snape.

Please, DNI if my posts make you want to argue in defense of the characters I dislike. I don't want to argue, I want to vent.

✦ {harry potter} harry | severus | regulus

✦ {greek mythos} achilles

✦ {all of my art}

✦ {all of my poems}

You do have a point here. You might be right, I can see it as Harry being an unreliable narrator.

In my opinion, how I interpret these things comes down to my understanding of JKR as a writer. She doesn't shy from having characters get utterly humiliated then treating it like it's funny, or it's karma. That's why I can believe what Harry saw was true and Lily did almost smile, because JKR can find humour in the humiliation of Snape, or Ron, or Draco, or any number of characters.

JKR knows SWM is a very dark scene (that's why it fades to black the moment it starts to get truly 18+) and she still made a decision to put Lily in writing as almost smiling. JKR could have made a decision to have Lily stone-faced the whole time. She didn't. In fact, if Harry was unreliable, it would make more sense that he would see Lily do "good" things and be blind to her "bad" actions. It makes sense for Harry to think Snape smiled like an evil character because Harry stereotypes him as scummy, mean, etc. I think Lily smiling is true and it means something. I think what JKR was trying to say was 1, Snape looked utterly ridiculous to the point that the "good-hearted" character couldn't resist smiling, and 2, Lily was no longer close with Snape.

Hermione, for instance, wouldn't smile if something similar happened to Harry because they are very good friends who respect each other. And if Hermione did smile and it was never acknowledged as a bad thing to do when a friend is publically humiliated, then JKR must not think it's hypocritical of a "good" character to smile when an old friend is humiliated.

And to be honest, I don't like how JKR handled her character writing, in general. I think she put a lot of her own personal biases in her characters. A lot of writers do that. It can be an enjoyable read when you agree with the writer's biases or like how some of the writer's personality bleeds into their characters (I'm not saying you necessarily like JKR, I'm speaking in general about how readers can consume a writer's work).

I didn't like JKR's personality and therefore I didn't like it when it bled into scenes, such as the bullying treated as a comedic thing. You can feel it happening in the scene where Hermione's front teeth are hit with a spell and grow bigger. Harry's narration in that scene feels off to me; it doesn't read like a friend concerned for their friend, it reads like a youtuber relaying something bizarre and mildly funny.

This is a recurring theme in HP that turned me off the whole franchise tbh. Sometimes it reads like everything in the HP world is built to mildly embarrass someone, strip their dignity, or is just a grotesque thing to witness in general.

hi anon! I'm so sorry for replying so late! I get a lot of spam from bot accounts and this message got lost in my inbox. Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me. Thanks for reaching out <3

I have a lot to learn about writing poetry and many things to improve in my writing. That's the beauty of creativity, you can never stop learning and expanding, and it's especially beautiful to learn from others. That said, I'd love to share some things that I think made a difference in my writing. This is how I approach writing poetry, personally.

I write a poem like a story. There's a meaning and a moral I want to reach. I introduce the problem or the character or the setting, or sometimes I state right out the gate the whole point of the poem. Then I build up to it, lay the groundwork, develop it. Try to expand on it more with every stanza so that each one adds something new to the poem. Then, I reach the climax of the story at the second-to-last stanza. And the final stanza is the epilogue, the aftermath, the lesson the character learned, the message of the story written clearly because it was beaten into the character and, ergo, the reader.

One of the most important things about writing poetry is you do not have to make the last word of each line rhyme. Actually, doing this can subtract from your poem instead of adding to it.

You may focus too much on how the end of each line sounds that you forget to consider how it all comes together to form a poem with a poignant, clear meaning. The substance or the meaning of your poem is a lot more important than trying to find a word that rhymes with dawn. It's easy to look up words that rhyme with dawn. It's not so easy to produce a poem with a substantial meaning that hits the reader in the face, or exactly captures a feeling the reader couldn't put into words, or slightly tilts their world-view and makes them think, or tugs on their heartstrings.

So, if you find yourself manipulating the poem too much and writing words you don't feel in your heart, all because you're trying to make two words rhyme, take a step back. Consider what you're trying to say with this poem. Say it as simply as you can. When in doubt, less is more.

More on that, perfectly rhyming words can be predictable and that turns me off personally. If I'm reading a poem and can predict what the last word of the next line will be, I don't feel invested in the poem anymore. For example, if the first line ends with dawn and I predict the next line will end on fawn, awn, yawn, brawn, or something along those words, I lose interest quickly. Especially if the next line is written in a clunky or unnatural way to make the rhyming words fit (which is what I mentioned in my first point). Half-rhymes are so much more compelling to me.

All this to say, if you want your poem to rhyme and flow nicely, it's so much better to focus on the meter and count the syllables in each line. Rappers and songwriters do this a lot; they write using words that don't fully rhyme but the number of syllables per line is consistent so it ends up sounding nice. This method in my opinion is much more compelling. A good way to practice this is reading and writing haikus, and reading lyrics to songs who use atypical words and phrases and seeing how the writers made it all sound nice. I personally learned a lot from Achiles, Come Down by Gang of Youths, Eminem's Mockingbird, and Twenty One Pilots' discography.

Another technique related to rhyming that I love to use in my poems is using the reader's expectation of a rhyme against them. For instance, someone is reading the first line of my poem—they expect the last word of the next line to rhyme. So I don't use a word that rhymes; I end the second line on a word that sounds different while keeping the syllables consistent. Rinse and repeat down the stanza until I get to the final two lines: those I make rhyme perfectly so the meaning of the stanza lands like a gut punch. Basically, using rhyming words sparingly, with intention, and only on the heaviest line helps increase the weight of the meaning.

So, these are all stylistic choices I personally like. You might not prefer that and that's okay; it's always better to express your emotion in the way that best fits you. Now, I want to mention some things that I think benefit everyone who wants to improve their poetry, regardless of their preferred writing style.

Read and write a lot of peotry. It's one of the best ways you can improve. You will find yourself inspired to write when another poet makes something amazing, or introduces a concept you would like to run with and make your own.

Don't be afraid to try new things and don't be discouraged when you're not immediately nailing it.

Beware of comparisons—never, ever compare your skill set or talent or your number of notes to someone else. That's the fastest way to kill all creativity and motivation.

Look up rhyming words to a certain word on RhymeZone and WordHippo and read the whole list exhaustively. When I was first starting out, I used to blank constantly on words that rhyme and had to look them up. I would read lists and lists, and that subconsciously added to my "rhyming vocabulary." Now, I rarely ever blank on how to make two lines rhyme. And like I said, always prioritise the meaning of the word over the sound of the word.

And finally, use words you love. Use words you like that you don't get to use in every-day conversations. Have fun with your words.

They tell you Lily defended Severus in Snape's Worst Memory and Severus cussed her out. But Lily said some choice words to James; she didn't do anything to help Severus. She didn't use her wand to help Severus get down or cover him up or at the very least put up a ward that prevented the other students from seeing Severus half-naked and humiliated. She didn't fight off James, or call for a teacher. She said things like "put him down, let him go!" but she didn't do anything.

Then they'll tell you Severus was a bad friend because he called her a mudblood. They won't mention how Severus stood up to Voldemort who was at his prime, put his life on the line when he found out Voldemort targetted Lily. Then he went on for the rest of his life holding her memory in high regard, fighting tooth and nail to protect her son. He says crude things to her son, true. But what he always does is take every necessary action to protect him, even at the cost of his own life.

when you make me bleed, all you succeed at achieving is making my body weak. i sit there and wait for it to heal, feeling starkly mortal and human, breakable. i wait for it to pass, plan, scheme, sit up and go press on the wound, staunch the bleed, wipe it clean. all shall pass. on it goes. when they make me into a joke, bruising not my body but my ego, lock onto my insecurity, turn it into a weapon, turn it against me, breaking not my bones but my spirit, piss on my opportunities, make my name synonymous with shame, stain my reputation with public humiliations— why, I'd rather break and bleed a thousand times than suffer this emotional pain. it cannot be wiped away. it cannot be cleaned. it doesn't pass, not so simple to heal. i lay awake, body burning with shame, fever-bright with no infection to speak of, turning over every laugh, every detail, feeling bare and seen even fully covered. worse yet, no one thinks it's a big deal. no one thinks daily humiliation is as serious as a cut that bleeds. when you make me bleed, all you succeed at achieving is making me feel starkly mortal. when they make me into a joke, bruising not my body but my ego, i feel distinctly like an animal. subhuman. naked. preyed on, gawked at. worth less than a person. hide me, don't look at me. your eyes burn, burn upon me. break me, bruise me, treat me like an enemy to beat, an honorable duel or a dirty fight, glory in might and clever manoeuvres, but don't— don't humiliate me. don't dehumanise me. flay my skin from my bones, ply my nails from their beds, there's a certain diginity to be had in surviving that, but don't defile me. don't debase me for everyone to see. the body heals and forgets, but the mind still remembers how it felt when you dehumanised it.