oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man
A friend of ours worked in a movie theater. One night, a rowdy little boy decided to kick over all the stands that held up the red velvet cords.
After several attempt to stop him, she finally declared, “If you keep kicking those over, your leg will fall off!”
No sooner had she said this than she looked up and was mortified to notice a man standing on a pair of crutches with one leg.
Before she could apologize, he looked down at the boy and sighed, “I used to love to kick those.”
The kid ran away.
My small hand looks normal enough that many people don’t notice for quite some time that it’s missing fingers, and I sometimes get people questioning if my hand was always like that but they never noticed, or if something recent happened to them.
So as a kid I absolutely loved when people tentatively asked me what happened to my hand and I’d unsuspiciously say, “What about my—” looking down at them, “notice” the missing fingers, and suddenly scream-recoil away as though I’d never seen the issue before. Managed to give quite a fright to multiple well-meaning adults about it. ✌️😎
Someone I knew in college who (I think congenitally) had one arm that ended around his elbow and had a prosthesis, and he would regularly take it off to give his other arm more reach and like tap people on the shoulder with it and shit.
