used the phrase "i mean, i don't think we're paying enough attention to what the back of that embroidery is going to look like" in a meeting today because if business bros get to throw out meaningless jargon all the time, i! get! to play! too!
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@aceruleansweater
used the phrase "i mean, i don't think we're paying enough attention to what the back of that embroidery is going to look like" in a meeting today because if business bros get to throw out meaningless jargon all the time, i! get! to play! too!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)
ao3′s orphaning option is cool and a good idea but mostly very fucking funny. i posted this work for fun when i was younger and i still want people to be able to come back to it if they liked it, but now im an adult professional and i dont want it attached to my name. whats the word for that? umm, anonymously posting? no. i want something that indicates i murdered this story’s parents
technically the story’s parents faked their own death and disappeared to go have an office job, and that’s even funnier
shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply
"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post
"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior
"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares
"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.
"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all
".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity
this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.
anyway more addittions
“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.
“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.
“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum
“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh
“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird
“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.
“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.
“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.
“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl
sorry but once you notice how often ppl use a southern accent as shorthand for being unintelligent you can never unsee it. classism is baked so deeply and why are you acting like anyone who talks the way my grandfather talks is stupid.

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why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol
i kinda love this response. just try reading my comment in a nicer voice and you'll feel better
i call this one “using tumblr as a person of color”
might update with more images at some point
so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster
i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

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Diva down
I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually
I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like
Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

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problematic sudoku solving skills gap
long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them